Teens Arguing

[laurenandjames9]

Me and My SO have been together for over a month now, since we have got together all we seem to do is argue. We argue about silly things, and then talk about it and its fine. This seems like a constant routine, and its hurting us both. When we were just friends before we never argued, and now it seems like the norm. What we argue over isn't even worth arguing about, its just so easy to start an argument and then sort it out. He says that he will never leave me, and that he loves me, but this is killing us both. I don't know if all this pain is worth it. To add, because we can't see each other it is affecting our relationship because we are taking it out on each other, we have no physical contact, and we both need it. I don't feel like we can give each other what we need, because of the distance, but I know if I walk away from him I will be making the biggest mistake of my life.

Have any of you ever had this problem?
What should I do if anything?

[alittlemind]

I haven't exactly had this problem, but to me, if my relationship was hurting me more than it was helping me, that would be a major problem. You even said that you don't feel like you can give each other what you need (because of distance) but it's important in a relationship to fulfill what the other needs, otherwise you're going to have a bad time, and you're going to continue to argue. You're 16, and I can assure you, even if you feel as if walking away would be the biggest mistake of your life, I'm pretty sure it won't be. Trust me, I felt that way once upon a time with my ex boyfriend, who no matter how much it hurt to be in the relationship, I couldn't let it go. But once I did, I found the most amazing guy I could ever ask for - and now we're in a great relationship where we can fulfill each others needs and although we have disagreements, like all couples do, we help each other out more than we hurt each other (not that we really hurt each other at all, but neither of us is ever put in the position where we question whether or not this is worth it, because we know it is). You've only been together for about a month, and if it's hurting you this much only a month into it, things don't look to good. Maybe going back to being friends would be a good decision, and if years down the road, when you can not have the distance between you two, you can try again. But for right now I suggest talking it through with him and decide if you can both put your differences aside and stop arguing, and wait out the distance, maybe it could work. LDRs are a lot about patience and communication (as well as many other things). I hope you two can figure things out! Best wishes to you both!

[ThePiedPiper]

You're 16, right? Trust me, it won't be the biggest mistake you'll ever make. You'll get on fine without him, and he's not your only chance. My opinion is if it's hurting more than it's worth, then you need to call it quits. What happens when the honeymoon stage wears off if you argue constantly while you're still in it? Some people make better friends than lovers.

[laurenandjames9]

Thank you for the advice. We have decided to give each other some space so we can both think about things. We only decided this last night, and I am already wanting to talk to him. Its so hard not to, as we have been talking everyday for months. I think this will either give us both a chance to really think about what we want and if we can be in a relationship, or it will push us further apart and we will end up splitting up.

[PrincessJOE]

I think giving each other some space is a very good idea. I can guess how you feel about wanting to talk to him again, but try to understand if you miss HIM or if you miss talking to someone special 'in general' (sorry i dont know exactly how to explain what i mean, hope you kinda got it though ). I say it cos i made this mistake myself in the past, i missed the attention my ex used to give me and the person he used to be, more than HIM
Good luck!