Teens 1 1/2 years of love...and we've never met

[007manyo]

So, first, I'm going to tell a little story. Me and my SO met on omegle about 2 years ago. We became fast friends, and she often sent me pictures of herself and her friends that her mother took (no "selfies", she's more mature than that). She called me once or twice before we were really anything, and from the pictures she sent me, I knew she was gorgeous, and the texts she sends confirm that she's intelligent and sane as well (a rare combination :P) after about 6 months of being friends, I sent her long messages (in Italian) expressing my feelings for her. She was actually dating some jerk from her hometown at that time, but she says that she eventually fell for me after she left him. We've been dating (kinda) for a year and a half. I say "kinda" because we have a temporarily open relationship (we are allowing one another to see other people only to satisfy our need for human contact). We express our love regularly (in many ways) but we have never physically met. I love to see her happy and pictures are like treasure to me... But I haven't heard her voice since before we started dating. She refuses to call me, ever, and I don't know why. We do everything (pseudo) together; we sleep together (in both senses ;P), we talk about everything, we even cower in fear of thunderstorms together (we both have a terrible phobia for thunderstorms); yet she never wants to call me. I miss her voice and I'm sure she misses mine... So why won't she let me hear her voice?

Thanks for reading. Please, help me out if you can.
~ Alex

[Chlo]

Hey Alex
Welcome to the forums!

It's very stange that she refuses to call you now. Have you ever asked her why she refuses to do so? Have you ever tried to call her?
You both seem quite close from what you've said, but maybe there is an underlying problem. I'd say bring it up in a conversation, let her know how important it is for you.
I wish you all the best!

[007manyo]

Thank you for your advice, Chlo
I actually have talked to her about the issue, but she refuses to give me a reason. I'm not going to fight her for it because I respect her privacy, but it's a pretty unsolvable conundrum to me.
To be quite honest, and I don't mean to sound possessive or selfish, but it upsets me that she won't give me this one thing that I've been asking for for a year and a half. :/

[RachelAnne]

I agree it's a little strange she refuses to talk to you, and you don't sound selfish in saying that. You have every right to want to talk to her, and she should want to talk to you, in my opinion. I don't know of any other solution besides bringing it up until she gives you an explanation, which I think you deserve lol. But just tell her it concerns you that she refuses to speak and I'm hoping she gives you a reason or something! Good luck

[007manyo]

Thanks for your advice too, RachelAnne!
I just talked her about it, and she got really upset. I don't want her to be angry at me, so I'm going to leave it alone. Do you guys have any suggestions on how I can talk to her or hear her voice without the use of a phone?
Thanks,
Alex

[RachelAnne]

Hi again Alex! haha. The only other thing I can think of is Skype--do you think she'd be willing to do that? I'm not sure since she won't talk on the phone with you, but it's worth a shot! Did she tell you why she was upset?

[SJ22]

I used to really hate talking on the phone with my SO as well... Just hated calling in general.
I was always scared of awkward silences with him

[007manyo]

Unfortunately her mother won't allow her to use Skype... And she still hasnt given me any reason :| if I ask her about it, she just gets angry... She tells me outright that she will not call me, so unless there's some way we could meet (which we really can't, and that makes me sad) then there really isn't a way (that I know of at least) .-.

[RachelAnne]

This seems kind of fishy to me. You said ya'll have spoken a few times before becoming anything serious. I don't see why she refuses to talk to you now; it doesn't make sense to me. I also don't understand why she gets angry at you for bringing it up. You have every right to ask her about it in my opinion and I don't think she should lash out at you for asking...it's perfectly normal and understandable for you to want to talk to her. Hm...I don't know what it could be unless she just doesn't feel ready to talk to you yet after becoming more serious? I wish I knew how to help

[007manyo]

I wish I knew, too haha... You said it seems kinda fishy? The first thought that came to my mind was catfish. In case you're unaware, that was a movie about fake personalities over the internet... I hope I don't have to assume the worst here. :/

[RachelAnne]

I wouldn't assume the worst just yet--give her the benefit of the doubt right now, but I would still be a little cautious. As time progresses, she SHOULD eventually, hopefully, want to talk to you--if she STILL refuses to speak to you, I would need to start thinking about this. Hopefully it doesn't get that point! I'll be hoping for the best

[007manyo]

Thank you all I'll do my best to convince her... If anything goes down, I'll be sure to update here. ^_^

[007manyo]

So after a little conversation, she finally admitted that she just doesn't usually call people. She says she doesn't know why -- but she hates it. :/

[delightful]

So after a little conversation, she finally admitted that she just doesn't usually call people. She says she doesn't know why -- but she hates it. :/

I can completely, 100% relate to this. I would avoid phone calls and just get so super embarrassed and self-conscious about them when I first started my LDR with my SO, not sure if he knows that though, hahah. I used to just really, really hate phone calls, and I never knew why. They would make me extremely anxious and I would work myself into a panic if I knew I'd have to take/make a phone call. It really isn't something that can be explained. My advice is to maybe ask her if she could leave you a voice mail or something? That way she doesn't actually have to talk on the phone, but you can still hear her voice? Just take little steps and be supportive to her about it. I know it seems like a completely irrational fear to have, but I can sympathize completely. I now love, love, love talking to my SO on the phone/over Skype. I can never get enough. I think it just comes in time, the more you do something, the more relaxed and confident you get with doing it.
Best of luck with it all!

[RachelAnne]

I'm glad she finally opened up and said something to you! And I agree with delightful--start off with baby steps and eventually ya'll can work your way to talking on the phone. Good luck