Teens Girlfriend accidedntly sleeping and leaving me lonely.

[Coffey]

Well, where to begin...

I actually have two problems: my girlfriend likes to watch anime (not a problem), but she goes out, watches it, and while watching it always falls asleep... Usually we call after, but lately she's been just falling asleep. Now I'd understand if she fell asleep at a late time, but we're talking 6:00 her time! That's incredibly early.. And I feel like shes just avoiding me or something, though she instantly proves this suspicion wrong after she gets on Skype with me and says how much she loves me... I just not sure how to handle it.. I can't sleep at night because on Friday is the only time we really get to stay up and be together.. And I'm stuck laying there thinking about her, it's painful..

My other problem (which typically takes place in conjunction with what was said above), is that I text her... A lot. When she doesn't respond I spam her messages... I know it's wrong but I can't help it! I just need her.. Which leads me to another realization: I'm clingy. I brought this up with her and she said she absolutely loves that I'm clingy.. But personally- I hate it more than anything! Each text is like a wave of stress, and I just can't stop... I love her so much.

My questions: How does one put up with their girlfriend/boyfriend being unavailable at the worst possible time (and with nothing else to do) and how do you control spamming them with texts, each one you pray they'll respond to?

[Chlo]

Hey there!

First off, welcome to the forums.

I know how you feel with a lot of what you've written, and it's good that you realise you're doing it, for a start.
It can be very difficult to not be clingy, if that's your tendancy, but you have to remember that she does have her own life, and things she needs to be doing. She will always come back to you/reply to you when she can. I'm sure she never means to not reply to you, worry or panic you. I have this trouble sometimes with my SO, and I'm trying to make myself better by distracting myself with something else whilst he's away. It's the only thing that'll stop me from constantly stressing/worrying! (Although in my case, I cannot text him.)

My advice for the texting thing is to possibly put your phone somewhere else, then go and check it every so often. If you keep looking at it every 10 seconds, of course it'll seem longer and you'll get more annoyed.
Another thing is to make sure she understands that you have trouble with this stuff. So she knows that it is important for her to reply when she can.

Just remember to keep calm, take a deep breath, and think things through rationally before you start becoming worried or stressed.
She tells you she loves you, so just try to remember that and be happy.

You're welcome to PM me if you'd like to talk more.

[MissButterfly]

First of all, welcome to the forum! Have you ever talked to her about how her falling asleep makes you feel? It's indeed strange that she consistently falls asleep so early. Does she stay up really late? Is she willing to change her 'nap time' to talk to you? I mean, I had 7 hours of time difference when we were long distance, so I had to wait until 10 my time for him to come home from school. I couldn't be more excited every time.
It could just be that she's really tired, does she have very stressful days? Maybe it's a lack of a certain vitamin, or something that can be changed. However, she has to WANT to do anything about it. You can't make her. If she's really unwilling to change and it leads to you guys not being able to talk, you have to decide if it's worth your time.
You'll have to learn to stop being clingy. It's incredibly annoying. I know, because I used to be very clingy. My SO always got really quiet and annoyed when I wanted too much attention. That made me feel so horrible and insecure that I just forced myself to focus on other things. Go find a hobby, hang out with friends, etc. Just don't let your life revolve around her. Distract yourself. I understand that this relationship is still new and exciting, but don't scare her away.
Anyway, the final point is that long distance relationships are ALL about communication. Talk to her! And seriously sit her down, tell her you guys need to have a talk. I'm sure you'll find a balance together if you both want to. Good luck!

[alizee]

You have to control yourself and not be needy and clingy about her. She said she likes it when you*re clingy but I believe you are HURTING YOURSELF showing clingy/ needy. So, it*s not about her at this point but mostly about you, because you are harming yourself and things get more and more concentrated in you, and you will end up being all out. This is not good for your peace of mind!!!!
You*re only 16!!!! Don*t complicate your life with all these negative feelings, because they are just pointless ...
First thing in an LDR is trust and you must learn to have it. I know it*s not easy to have trust, but work hard on yourself. As for the texts just don*t send her so many, she may be overwhelmed by them .... and even though in an LDR everybody has got a life, so it*s not like she can always reply to you, because she*s got her own life over there and that doesn*t mean she doesn*t love you (as for the love part, I think for you guys it is early to say "I love you", because love goes deeper than these words ...)

[Coffey]

Thanks all for your responses! Things have gotten weird over the course of the night with her... Apparently she was talking with my best friend- my best friend expressed the fact that he actually has feelings for her- TOLD HER- and then she said "If I wasn't with Christian (Me) I'd be dating you."

My friend told me this and the stress got to my head.. I sent my girlfriend on her way tonight with "Look, if you want to be with him, just let me know.. I just want you to be happy." Due to the fact, again, she decided to spend most of the evening talking with him, and simply leaving me. (AFTER she said this morning she wanted to talk with me all night tonight..)

The stress is incredibly hard to avoid.. And though I'd like to simply avoid it, as Alizee suggested, it's far easier said than done. She's going to talk to me this morning.. I have to comfort her.. I just have to..

I'll post the results here...

Thanks again everyone who responded. It means a ton. And Chlo, I think I might consider PMing you if something goes on later. Thanks so much for the offer! c:

I'm just going to try and stay positive.

Love to all.

[alizee]

Thanks all for your responses!
The stress is incredibly hard to avoid.. And though I'd like to simply avoid it, as Alizee suggested, it's far easier said than done. She's going to talk to me this morning.. I have to comfort her.. I just have to..

I'll post the results here...
I'm just going to try and stay positive.

Love to all.

I know stress it very hard to avoid in an LDR. I am in an LDR myself remember? I also have days when I feel lonely and stressful and I can`t avoid these feelings, but I am trying to be an open mind and to think that if I let these feelings rule me then I will lose my boyfriend and I don`t want that....
And your girlfriend does love you, because you said that she doesn`t want to date your friend because she is seeing you. That says a lot about her. She is a sincere and a correct person and does want to be with you. Just stop being all out and don`t show all your mental tension to her, because then she will leave you ... I believe you have noting to worry about!!!!

[Coffey]

She and I have made up.. The stress is still overwhelming, but I'm glad to be on good terms with her again.

[Chlo]

I am glad you've both spoken about this and are able to get through it.
Just remember that it takes two to make relationships work, along with a lot of trust and communication.
Just take a deep breath, keep thinking rationally, and you'll do just fine.
Best of luck to you both!

And you're welcome, I'm always here to help if needed.

[lilcupcake]

When i feel like I absolutely NEED my SO, and he isn't available, (he does the same on his end when it comes to needing me) instead of spamming his phone with a million messages, I send one long message telling him how much i love and miss him. and whenever he can get to his, he get's a nice little surprise that makes his day ^_^ and i feel better haha. a lot of the time (especially lately) when i've needed him, i havent been able to just call him. It's something we all have to learn to live with.

[lucybelle]

When I was a teenager I used to get home from school (3 or 4pm), go to sleep and wake up the next morning. My point is, I'm not surprised a teenager is sleeping that much!

[Coffey]

The only times I really the most anxious is when my best friend texts her during his school hours, and I sometimes don't get to talk to her because she's occupied with him. I just feel weird about my friend constantly contacting her- but then I found out she contacts him a lot too, so whatever. She loves me. She's mine. If she loved him she wouldn't be with me, right?

I'm just going to wear a smile on my face and push on through until I meet her, (hopefully this Summer, as my brother is helping me get there, as he's going to be 19 by that time). He's a good brotha. c: Do you guys think me meeting her will cure a lot of this stress? I know a lot of you have met your SO's, so you've got the first hand experience.

Thanks again, all!

[lilcupcake]

I haven't met my SO, either. (ironically, he's in New York too lol) I think it might help. it could help her kind of back off of your friend some... I fully understand your anxiety there. but i think it's great you trust her so much! If you look through some of my threads, ive had some jealously issues i didnt handle well.

[Coffey]

I haven't met my SO, either. (ironically, he's in New York too lol) I think it might help. it could help her kind of back off of your friend some... I fully understand your anxiety there. but i think it's great you trust her so much! If you look through some of my threads, ive had some jealously issues i didnt handle well.

So far it's going better, she still calls my friend before she calls me, sadly.. But I guess she does that because when she calls me we stay up throughout the night; maybe she calls my friend just to say hello so he doesn't feel left behind or something.. She's generous like that.

I don't know. I'm thinking of anything positive I can at this point. >^< because I know she'd never ever cheat on me, and I trust them both.