Teens Meeting for the first time and the feelings after

[Marleigh-Nicole]

So it's now... 3 weeks and 3 1/2 days until we meet.
I'm not quite nervous yet but I know I will be when i'm stood in the train station waiting for him.
Basically i'm worried about meeting him for the first time, he's coming to stay with me and my parents but I don't want my mum to scare him off as she's very full on and will question everything, she still doesn't fully trust us to be alone. He's coming on the Thursday evening to be able to join me at my sweet 16 birthday party on the Friday and will be going home on the Sunday morning. I'm worried I may accidentally get caught up in the moment and not be as aware of him as I should at my party (I know no one can really help me with that, I just have to make sure I give him a lot of attention).
Also being our first time meeting and having been together for 5 months by that point, my boyfriend (almost being 18) wants to have sex for the first time with me, although I find that incredibly sweet that he wants me to be his first i'm scared as to whether it's the right thing to do, I feel as i'm not ready yet but when i'm 'in the mood' I think it's the right thing to do.
So really i'm just looking for a little advice if you can help and some of your experiences.
How long had you been together when you first met?
How long did you have together?
What did you do?
Do you think I should ask him to wait to be more intimate?

[Asymmetrical8]

You're only 16 sweetie!! You two should definitely wait!! I mean, especially planning that for your first meeting, that's a lot of pressure with that expectation in the air. My boyfriend and I have been trying to plan a meeting for a while now, and the concern of my mum is that we have sexual relations. I'm 16 as well (I'd be 17 at the visit) and I personally don't think we should be worrying about that at our tie and age ^_~ 5 months is a lot, but if you want to do this like adults, wait until the true commitment has been made. <3

[snow]

You said it yourself: You feel like you're not ready yet and that is what you should listen to. Yeah, he's 18 and most boys want to have sex, but it really comes down to the both of you being ready for it, not just him.
I think you should follow your gut feeling and ask him to take into consideration that you just turned 16 and it's your first meeting, so it just makes sense that you want to wait. I'm sure there is a lot you want to try, but you don't have to go all way if you don't feel ready for it (and this is something you should decide before you get "in the mood" and stick to it when you do!)

[Ejoriah]

I think you should ask him to wait to be intimate, but not because of your age or of his age - I say this because you yourself are not sure that you want to do it. And, ultimately (and barring legal concerns) it is your feelings about it that will dictate when it is the right time for you to be intimate. If you don't want to be intimate with him on your first visit, you have to tell him that, and if he loves you, he will understand. Use this visit to get to know him offline and make sure your mother is on your side.

[RachelAnne]

Honey, if you aren't ready for sex (which I don't think you are), don't give in "in the moment." As Ejoriah said, use this first trip to get to know him better--don't dive into bed with him just because you think it's the right thing to do. If he really cares about you, he'll understand. The first time meeting is always exciting Don't feel pressured to sleep with him. Enjoy your time with him

[Moonlit Nocturne]

Honestly, if you're unsure, you should wait. Don't allow his feelings to pressure you into becoming intimate. Your parents are probably concerned that that sort of thing to happen, so if you want her to trust you guys to be alone together, maybe for the first visit you should abide by her expectations and rules. Good luck!

[Marleigh-Nicole]

Thankyou for the help. I guess hearing it from other people makes a lot more sense to me. I know I'm not ready, i can't please him if I'm not comfortabel. Getting caught up in all the new things we'll be able to do when we're actually together

[MissButterfly]

You have to tell him this before he arrives. If he respects you, he'll not try to go any further either. If you have to tell him in the heat of the moment it'll be harder for both of you. Clearly set your boundaries before anything even happens. My SO and I also had been together for 5 months when we met for the first time, but we had 3 weeks together and we were almost 18 so the situation was quite different. You're so young, don't do anything you'll regret later.
Also, about your party, I would advise the opposite. It's your 16th birthday! All your friends are there for YOU, and they all deserve a bit of attention. Of course it's amazing that your SO is there, but please don't feel obliged to only entertain him the whole evening. It'll spoil the time for you if you're constantly wondering whether he's having fun or not. Again, just talk about it beforehand, say that you're sorry in advance if you're occupied with other people.

[Marleigh-Nicole]

I told him how I felt and I tried to explain it in the nicest way possible but he took it badly. He said he understood because of my age but I never mentioned my age I just told him although I do love him I don't feel like I'm ready. He got annoyed because he doesn't want to be a virgin any more and started guilt tripping me saying at least he wouldn't let me down now or fail me.. I feel so bad for how I've made him feel but I don't want to change my mind

[RachelAnne]

Well shame on him for getting upset over this...I'm glad you were honest with him, that was the right thing to do. As for him being impatient to lose his virginity, he should be willing to wait as long as you want if he cares about you. It shouldn't matter to him. I think you made the right decision in telling him you want to wait until you feel ready--there are a lot of emotions that come along with it, and you have to feel ready both physically and mentally. Hopefully he comes around...but he was definitely in the wrong for making you feel guilty. You did nothing wrong!

[Ahava]

Hey
I'm so sorry to hear he reacted that way. But I think he should be able to wait a few more weeks or months or however long it takes.
Glad you stood your ground and don't change your mind.
I was 18 when my first time happened, I had had boyfriends before that though. We were together for 2 or 3 months cd and we saw each other many times a week (= a lot of snogging etc) before we did it.

It may sound like a cliché but don't let him blackmail you into it by playing the guiltcard before you are ready.

Take care and have a lovely birthday!

[Marleigh-Nicole]

I just really don't want to let him down. It's likely to be 8 or 9 months before we see eachother again.. What if he won't wait? I know someone will say he isn't worth it but I truly love this guy. He means a lot to me and he's helped me through a lot over these last 6 months we've been close and I'd hate to lose him.
I won't actually be 16 until late november and he'll turn 18 10 days later. I'm scared he won't wait for me.
Thanks

[RachelAnne]

I know what you're feeling because I felt that too when I told my guy I wanted to wait. He wasn't a virgin though, but I was still worried he would get tired of me putting it off every visit. We didn't until my last trip up there. But trust me, don't do it until you're absolutely ready and sure. The worst thing to do is give in just because he wants it. I don't want you to have any regrets. Do what you know feels right and sure.