Teens Abusive relationship

[SapphireFlames]

I would post anonymously, but I haven't been a member for 30 days and this question has been bothering me so much, and so I don't want to wait to ask.

So, over a year ago near my birthday when I was 13, I was in a sexually abusive LDR. Long story short, I nearly had to do things I really did not want to do because of a threat he made. I barely got out of it because my (online) friend told me to block him on everything, but he had my cell phone number, and I was terrified.

Sometimes that terror I felt comes back with the memories and it hasn't gone away. I shouldn't be this scared anymore, but I literally cannot stop it. Does this ever go away? I hate it so much, and it's driving me insane. Nothing my boyfriend does helps me and it normally does for everything else.

My parents don't know about it, and no one irl does either, I've been to scared to say anything, plus, my parents think everyone online are pedophiles as is, if they knew about it, I'd be pulled away from my boyfriend.

I'm not scared that it'll happen again though, I'm not going to let it happen again, the fear just comes back though, it's as if it happened yesterday.

Is this normal? Does it ever go away? Is there a way to make it actually go away?

[snow_girl]

You probably should talk to a professional about it, or at the very least your parents. Keeping it in won't do any good.

[Rugger]

As someone who was in an emotionally/ sexually abusive relationship, I think you need to see a professional. After my relationship ended, I bottled it up and only told people on a need to know basis. It nearly destroyed me and my current relationship even almost 4 years later. I went to therapy this year and finally worked through the issues i had. It was like a huge weight was lifted from my chest. Do it sooner rather than later. It can get worse as time goes on.

[roosie]

I was in a sexually abusive "relationship" (my abuser was an adult man with the only intention of using me for sex) when I was 12-13. For your question, does it ever go away.. Quite often it doesn't, but you can learn to live with it. It has been 10 years and I'm still shaking while typing this, as I felt so triggered reading your story. You are battling with similar questions as I was at your age - and I still am every now and them. I feel so so sorry for you for having to go through that. For your sake I hope that you get help as soon as possible, so that you can get the support you need to come in terms with what happened. I admire your bravery for posting about it here and seeking out; something I wasn't able to do at your age. I think I would have healed a lot earlier had I been able to seek help. Just don't rush yourself into anything, be kind to yourself.

I have battled with a lot of trust issues, self esteem issues and sexual issues over the years because of that, but I am feeling a lot better these days with the help of my therapist and a wonderfully patient boyfriend who I trust (and also by understanding that the victim mentality won't help me heal). I don't feel anger anymore, nor do I wish any ill for my abuser; frankly I feel quite indifferent toward him these days, he has absolutely no power over me anymore. It does get better, it doesn't have to take that long for you! I wish you all the luck!

[Kristin91]

The only thing that will help is talking about it with someone you trust and time. I know it's hard and it's scary, my ex was abusive, but by being able to talk to my SO about it (and him letting me cry about it) I was slowly able to get over it. And no, it's not gone forever, but I'm not terrified anymore.

[SapphireFlames]

Thank you everyone, I'm not ready to tell my parents and get therapy yet, but I will in the future if I still get scared and what not by the thought. Plus, if I told them, they'd think my boyfriend is no different, they think people online are pedophiles to begin with.
And sorry, Roosie.