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    #1

    Teens What's the best way to do this?

    So I met my girlfriend 2 months ago and things are pretty good so far. No arguments or anything like that, although there were some shaky times. One of the problems is that her dad is really controlling. He saw the private messages she and I exchanged on our forum so he knows about me. According to her, he thinks I'm some pedophile. (I swear I'm not; my avatar is me, it's just a few years old and we've talked on the phone so we know the other is real). Also, I'm 14 1/2 and she's 13 so we wouldn't be able to live together until we're both older than 18. That's in 5 years. Finally, my parents don't know about her and I have no idea how I should tell them. All I know is to tell them when it feels right to me.
    So, what do you think would be the best way to go about all of this? I really care about her and she really cares about me. We know what these feelings are and we really want to make this work but we aren't sure how to do this.
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    #2
    Her father may be controlling, but your girlfriend is young. If he truly thinks you could be an adult, he wants to protect her. He will probably want to see evidens of your age before letting her continue to be in contact with her.
    I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
    - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



    "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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      #3
      A good thing to do would be to Skype or some other video chat, so she and her dad can see your age. It's sad that bad people with evil intentions do exist. If you two don't have access to a web camera yet, you could certainly work toward that.

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        #4
        Originally posted by differentcountries View Post
        Her father may be controlling, but your girlfriend is young. If he truly thinks you could be an adult, he wants to protect her. He will probably want to see evidens of your age before letting her continue to be in contact with her.
        Originally posted by piratemama View Post
        A good thing to do would be to Skype or some other video chat, so she and her dad can see your age. It's sad that bad people with evil intentions do exist. If you two don't have access to a web camera yet, you could certainly work toward that.
        Differentcountries, I understand that. I will find a way to prove my age to him.

        Piratemama, Facetime could also work, yes? She doesn't have a Skype account and her dad would be really upset if she made an account for something that sounds suspicious, even if it truly has good intentions. He really doesn't trust her much at all. However, she has an iPad and I have an iPhone so we could use Facetime one day. That's a possibility, isn't it?

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          #5
          Sounds good to me.
          What about if you two invited her dad along to a Skype call, so that her dad would know what the account is for and he could also get to see you then?

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            #6
            Originally posted by Ahava View Post
            Sounds good to me.
            What about if you two invited her dad along to a Skype call, so that her dad would know what the account is for and he could also get to see you then?
            Hmm, good idea. Thanks.

            Comment

              #7
              Hey musiclife314!

              Firstly it could be a suggestion that if at some point in the near future you felt like you could tell your parents, It could be a possibility that they could in some way come into contact with your girlfriend's father and they could have a discussion about your relationship and they could assure him about your age. Facetiming with both your girlfriend and her father could also be another way of assuring him that you are not lying about your age

              However, it is obvious that this relationship is very new as you have only been together for two months and it is perfectly rational for her father to be protective of his daughter, particularly as you are both so young! However, just because her father is controlling is no reason for it to ruin your relationship, if you truly feel strongly about her this should not effect anything - just don't do anything in secret to upset him !

              Lastly, I know some people may read this and realise how young you two are but to me that doesn't make a difference - me and my SO met when we were both thirteen (although it wasn't LDR until a lot of years later) and I am nineteen now and we are still together, so it just goes to show that just because you are young doesn't mean you can't have real feelings. I also want to remind you though that because you are both so young just have fun! Enjoy yourselves now before life catches up with you

              I hope all goes well xxx

              Comment

                #8
                Originally posted by infinitelove13 View Post
                Hey musiclife314!

                Firstly it could be a suggestion that if at some point in the near future you felt like you could tell your parents, It could be a possibility that they could in some way come into contact with your girlfriend's father and they could have a discussion about your relationship and they could assure him about your age. Facetiming with both your girlfriend and her father could also be another way of assuring him that you are not lying about your age

                However, it is obvious that this relationship is very new as you have only been together for two months and it is perfectly rational for her father to be protective of his daughter, particularly as you are both so young! However, just because her father is controlling is no reason for it to ruin your relationship, if you truly feel strongly about her this should not effect anything - just don't do anything in secret to upset him !

                Lastly, I know some people may read this and realise how young you two are but to me that doesn't make a difference - me and my SO met when we were both thirteen (although it wasn't LDR until a lot of years later) and I am nineteen now and we are still together, so it just goes to show that just because you are young doesn't mean you can't have real feelings. I also want to remind you though that because you are both so young just have fun! Enjoy yourselves now before life catches up with you

                I hope all goes well xxx
                Hey, another newbie! :P
                I know I have to tell my parents sooner or later, but I don't know how to go about that because they don't know about the forum where I met my SO. Maybe a note, email or something like that? I don't feel totally comfortable telling them straight out about this. But I was thinking that eventually my parents and her father discuss this via Facetime.

                I understand that. I might be new to relationships and all that, but I understand that we're young, especially her. It makes sense that he's protective. I can assure you, I have very strong feelings for her, and she has very strong feelings for me as well.

                Wow, that's amazing. I'm happy for you, and yes, I know that. She knows it too. We both previously found ourselves in situations we thought were love that really weren't. But now we both know what love really feels like and it's awesome.
                We have no problem having fun. Our conversations are pretty laid-back and like the silly "I love you more" "arguments", as she calls them (which always makes me laugh to myself). We're gonna enjoy this. Honestly, I'm not overly concerned about feelings lessening at all. We're in a good place in terms of feelings. Our only issue is how to prove to her father that I'm real and then telling my parents as well. Thanks though.

                And thanks to everyone who's given their input so far. There are some great reminders and ideas that you've all given me. Thanks.

                Comment

                  #9
                  About telling my parents, I don't exactly feel very comfortable about directly telling them face to face. A note or email to them explaining everything could work, couldn't it? I just feel really uncomfortable about telling them face to face.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Originally posted by musiclife314 View Post
                    About telling my parents, I don't exactly feel very comfortable about directly telling them face to face. A note or email to them explaining everything could work, couldn't it? I just feel really uncomfortable about telling them face to face.
                    Why?

                    To be blunt about it: if you want your parents to take your relationship seriously, you need to tell them face to face. I'm assuming you and your SO discuss private things rather easily. They are your parents, they should find out during a conversation with you, not a note you leave for them or an email you send.


                    2016 Goal: Buy a house.
                    Progress: Complete!

                    2017 Goal: Pay off credit card debt
                    Progress: Working on it.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      And this is why I never want children...

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Originally posted by musiclife314 View Post
                        About telling my parents, I don't exactly feel very comfortable about directly telling them face to face. A note or email to them explaining everything could work, couldn't it? I just feel really uncomfortable about telling them face to face.
                        Even if you write them a little letter to say something like mum dad I have got an online girlfriend, that is just the surface facts. If you want them to understand what this means to you, you will have to let yourself be open to their questions live. Of course it will be uncomfortable. That is why it is so important that you do it. To show your gf and your parents that you can hold this without running away.
                        I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
                        - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



                        "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Well both of you are younger so that's a factor. Dad's care a lot about their little girls. My dad had to meet my SO before letting us go out on our first date together. So its not that he's controlling per say, but protecting like any father with a daughter aged 13 (or any daughter for that matter). Just take it one step at a time and don't get on the bad side of the dad good luck!

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