Teens feeling judged?

[gracethefishy]

As a teen in a LDR I feel like I'm constantly being judged by others when I tell them my boyfriend lives in another state.... I've even gotten reactions like "you need a real boyfriend." Um what? Just their reactions make me feel like they think I need to have a local boyfriend. Anyone else get a similar feeling or reaction from others sometimes? Especially as a younger couple?

[snow_girl]

Teens get judged about everything. What their hair looks like, what they wore to school, who they hang out with. I wouldn't take it personally people constantly judge others. It's no ones business. The ones that matter won't judge.

[piratemama]

Everybody does get judged sometimes, and teens do get it more. Teens can be cruel for some reason. I've not had anyone judge me for my LDR, but I do have some that don't understand. You will see other threads where some mention friends thinking they need to get a "real" boyfriend/girlfriend. It's easy to understand why others don't get our LDRs, but I do have a problem with the judgmental attitude. My teenage daughter has lots of problems with that lately, and she hasn't quite figured out how to deal. It's not as easy as just ignoring it, because those judging are quite verbal and in your face about it. It's hurtful.

If these are people that you care about, maybe you could try to gradually help them get to know your SO. Tell them little bits and pieces of information until they begin to get used to the idea. Help them to understand. Sometimes, however, people will be cruel no matter what you do. Don't let it affect your relationship with your SO, though.

Good luck.

[kbender]

I know it's really hard, but you have to remember that their opinion means absolutely nothing when it comes to your relationship. I know it gets discouraging, but you're above it, really! =)

[Sophie0170]

Yeah, I get that a lot.. Not many people even know about my LDR but those who do, always try to put doubt in my mind (it never works but it's still annoying!) and tell me I need to get a bf that lives near me etc.. You just have to try and ignore them because it really doesn't matter what they think.. I know it's not gonna change my mind about my bf/LDR, don't let them change yours. Block it out

[Loving Her Always]

Don't listen to anyone who gives opinion like that. Having a special one doesn't mean you always have to be with him/her all the time. what's important is the love you have for each other, for that love will always make you close to each other wherever you are.Ive been in a relationship for 8 years now and in a LDR for 2 years now.

[lilcupcake]

You could try explaining it in a way that might make it easier for them to understand, or at least put them in a situation where if they say the wrong thing they look like jerks. Ask them what they plan to do when the one they love goes to college, and what if it isn't in the area? if you love someone, you do what it takes. It's the same if they're loved one decided to join the military. You could run from the relationship easily, or stay with someone who makes you happy.

[SapphireFlames]

I have this problem. I've told multiple people my age, I've been judged by (for lack of clean, better word) jerks, and a girl who's normally very nice. Well... Let me rephrase that, /he/ was judged by the nice girl. She's called him a pedophile/catfish and what not, but I try not to let it bother me. Heck, she was surprised that I've been with him for almost 5 months. She didn't think I could even get close to 6 months, I guess.
I try to ignore the adults who say everyone online are pedophiles and what not, because they've never been in our situations, they don't understand, and they were told to believe that. Yeah, they just want to look out for us, but if we've Skyped them, obviously they're not a pedophile.
If you haven't Skyped yet and saw him actually moving and not just saw a picture, you should still be cautious about him, assuming you met online, like mine.
Things will lighten up, don't let them bother you and stay with him if that's what makes you happy. At the end of the day, being in a relationship should be making the both of you happy, no matter if it's mixed race, mixed religion, LGBT, or LDR.

[TooFarAway]

Oh man, I started dating my long distance boyfriend during my last year of highschool and I was judged too. xD I got that "you need a real boyfriend" crap too at first.
What makes it worse is that I met him online, on an online game plus I have never met him before in person LOL
Meh I just ignored them really. I mean I'm happy with my baby, why the heck does it concern them xD
But I would just talk about my boyfriend to my friends just as if he was a close distance boyfriend .-. and show pictures and I think once I skyped with him at school so everyone saw he was real LOL
But I think it wasn't too bad at my school because these types of relationships are becoming more common actually. I mean come on. EVERYONE goes on the internet and is part of some social media xD You meet sooo much more people- so much more choice. You can't tell me that it's impossible to find your true love on facebook, tumblr, omegle, WOW, etc.
It's so stupid LOL. REAL people use these. So technically I am dating a REAL boyfriend lmfao.

[lilcupcake]

Saphhire, just because you can skype with someone doesn't mean they're not a pedophile. im not saying your guy is, just don't let access to skype be the definition of a safe person. please don't think i'm being judgmental, as i have been where you and faced the same things and the guys i dated weren't pedophiles either. If people are that worried, they can look him up. all pedophile records are open to the public.

[alittlemind]

I've never gotten the "you need a real boyfriend" reaction but just recently I got the "I'm surprised it's worked out this long" reaction (we've been together about 14 months, long distance for about 6) and I kind of just ignore those negative reactions and just reply with something like "oh yeah?" and then let it drop. It's my relationship and I don't let other people get involved because it had nothing to do with them. Just ignore the negative comments and focus on how you and your SO are doing.

[Tesfaye]

Almost everyday. Once, this girl and her friends practically attacked me saying how my relationship is "stupid" and is "a waste of time". Not only did it aggravate me, but it really hurt. And because what she said was constantly on my mind, it caused small problems in my relationship. I know it's wrong to seek joy in others' pain, but she and her boyfriend recently had a major issue... Karma. Not to be vain, but I honestly believe she's jealous. Before, she would always say how my bf and I have such a great relationship, etc. Suddenly, things changed. I think teen girls receive more judgment, there is a double-standard. What I've learned is to remove myself from those people and surround myself with more encouraging people. Yes, she still smiles in my face and tries to talk to me, but sometimes you have to ignore kindness. It is hard when you're surrounded by people like that, but only you understand your relationship...

[jana89]

People in my country are extremely conservative and judgemental and I heard so much hurtful, offensive and obnoxious stuff I couldnīt even repeat everything. At the end of the day you learn not to listen to these voices, but I understand how bad it can feel.

[kittyxuchiha11]

Being a teen is a real nightmare and people judging you for your relationship is just the worst. Since the age of about 12 people bullied me for being gay and then when i started dating my ld girlfriend that just gave everyone a new reason to pick on me. I wouldn't say i was exactly bullied, like called names or anything. But people would tell me a lot that ldr don't count and you can still have a bf/gf back home and it's okay, which of course i was completely against.

The problem is a lot of people seem to think if you don't have a bf/gf who is in close distance to you then you don't have one at all. it's obviously not only teens that get this but teens often get picked on for this because really everyone around them at school and college are also teens who haven't really learned about love yet properly and that there is more to a relationship than sex and seeing that person on a day to day basis.

Being a teen is a nightmare and i've just got to share the best advice i think i have ever been given.
One day you and your partner will both be adults and you won't need anyone's approval because you'll be together and you'll be happy. It really is as simple as that. You won't be a kid forever and when you both are adults you don't need to listen to a word anyone says to you

[Photonut]

We all get judged for something, its human nature to fear what you do not understand. Its better to not worry about what other people think because in the end the only person who need to make you happy is you.