feeling judged?

[JeCummings]

Teen life is so hard, but remember--there's always someone who has it harder so be sure to check your privilege.

[MissLaurajames]

I have a group of about 7 girls at my school and 3 of us have been in relationships from meeting online, including me. Although the other two have met and see their boyfriend weekly now, they are still very accepting. The way I see it is that I dont want people to say mean things to my boyfriend or about my boyfriend, so I dont bring the relationship up with people I know would not understand. I know when you love a person so much that it can be hard not to talk about them like they are the stars and the moon and everything in between, but to save arguments and disagreements just dont talk about your boyfriend with people who you feel would make nasty comments. I feel that my Sam is too special to be laughed at by other people. Just remember, no matter where he is and how far from you he sleeps, your LDR boyfriend/girlfriend is real.

[macyymac15]

Yes! I feel judged all the time, because my boyfriend lives 1000 some miles away. No one thinks its worth it...not even some of my friends and my parents don't like it. It sucks, because I have no one I can go to when I'm having problems with my relationship.

[youngisthan]

When you are a teenager all the people around who are older then you start giving advice's on number of things they just feel like teenager often do mistake and they just keep telling many things, but would suggest you if your relation with your bf is alright and there is nothing to worry about though you are being in LDR then don't bother what other thinks of it.
People says from both side, its your life and live as per your condition.

[jessicagrace44]

As a teen in a LDR I feel like I'm constantly being judged by others when I tell them my boyfriend lives in another state.... I've even gotten reactions like "you need a real boyfriend." Um what? Just their reactions make me feel like they think I need to have a local boyfriend. Anyone else get a similar feeling or reaction from others sometimes? Especially as a younger couple?

I feel like nobody takes us seriously, even though we are best friends and have been dating for two years. People are always taken aback by it..."He lives WHERE?!"

[LovingAcrossTheAtlantic]

I have had the same problem, especially since my boyfriend is 3 years older and lives in another country. But I have found that websites like this help a lot. Having people to talk to who are in the same or similar situations can help you feel better about it. One of the biggest reasons we get bothered by others and what they say is because it starts to make us questions things. I get judged for it all the time, but now I just let the comments roll off of me. Try not to let others bother you, keep your confidence about your relationship, and soon those comments will go in one ear and out the other.

[merlinkitty]

Simple advice, but the judgey stuff just gets worse as you get older. It takes a different vein in adulthood. It moves from the clothes you wear, the friends that you keep, to the career that you're in, how you raise your children, etc. Adults are nothing but grown up teenagers. Some are more maladjusted than others.

This is a little more cynical than I usually am, most people are pretty decent. But some people never change and become more judgey, grownup versions of their teenage selves. They're typically judgey because they're unhappy with themselves. There's no sense in worrying about them.

[iminj]

I'm so glad I came across this post! This is the reason why I've only told about 3 other friends about my SO, because honestly if I was on the other side of this I would probably judge a bit myself... But now I understand. It doesn't help that teenage relationships aren't perceived as serious anyway, even if the couple live close to each other.
But, to be honest, it has nothing to do with anyone else!

[AngelofFluffiness]

I've been right there, back when me and my boyfriend first began. People always gave me a hard time, even my best friend since fourth grade. We get judged for everything, that's the sad part. The only thing that got me, and still gets me, through it was/is my boyfriend's philosophy that he used to comfort me when I went crying to him about it.
"When someone pointlessly complains about something you do, there is only one option. Keep doing it but ten times worse. That is the only way to tell the world to go **** itself."
It was the only thing that got me through. Because he's right. In the end, after we have been educated about the dangers of the internet, our only remaining options are to fend for ourselves (in terms of questions of safety) and its our job that, if we fell in love and they move, to decide to pursue it further.
I get mistreated for it sometimes still, but my friend calmed down after awhile. Eventually they forget to complain. And when the relationship gains time ongoing, it gains respect too. When I say that I have held my relationship for over a year from over 5000 miles away, people change their tune. Even more when I say that I skype him and talk to him face to face there.
In the end, we will always be judged. But its one of those things where we decide how to handle it in order to cope.

[islandgirl31310]

Yeah, People judge me all the time not only for my LDR bf living almost 1,000 miles away, and me never meeting him, but because he's 8 years older than me. we just connected from the start (going on almost a year together) and to me thats all that matters.

[katie.lvd34]

People are definitely critical of things they don't know or understand. A LDR is a complicated and beautiful thing. Trust me, I know the feeling of being judged for my LDR. My friends tease me about it, but they don't get what it's like. They tell me that I need a real boyfriend, they tease me because I met my SO online and say that I wasn't good enough to make a 'real' person love me. They don't realize that I love this man with my whole heart. You DO NOT NEED a local boyfriend. Don't let them get to you. If you love your SO, keep at it. Prove them wrong when you can finally close the distance.