Teens LDR Getting Harder As Time Goes On

[laurenwm]

So my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 9 months now (Feb. 19th), and lately I've been finding everything so difficult. I've started to worry about other girls hitting on him, which I never used to really worry about before. I cry almost every day about missing him, when I used to cry only every so often. I don't really know what's wrong with me, because he seems to be fine but I'm always sad and breaking down. I love him so much, so breaking up with him is not an option. I just wish things could be easier and we could be closer. It also upsets me that we're not like normal couples - we've never known what it's like to live in the same town and be able to see each other every day. We don't get to do those normal couple things, and it makes me so upset. We're about 5 hours apart right now, and with both of us in university it's not easy to take time out of school to visit more often than once a month. Does anyone have any advice they could give me about staying positive about everything? I just really don't know what to do at this point.

[aojeda50]

Reading this is taking me back to a phase I had. I was going through the exact same thing at one point. I was just so sad all the time that we couldn't be together and I was always putting myself down.
I finally told myself that I couldn't control that part of our lives, it's just how it happened to fall you know. So I decided to stop moping around and think about all the positive things about this special relationship. Yes it is very different than the normal relationship, but then again you probably don't want a normal relationship (except for the being together part). And I think it is so nice to be able to go to a place where hundreds of people can relate to your thoughts and problems and share all this with them. THey know exactly what you are going through. I know exactly what you are going through.
I read his letters I've received from him. I look at videos he's sent me. And I think of the wonderful memories we have made together when I visited him. And then I can't wait until the next Skype date that we have.
It is really really hard. Remember that this kind of thing is not for everyone. But there is a reason why you are in this with your SO.
It will all be worth it in the end. Remember that.

[laurenwm]

Yeah, that's pretty much what I'm going through. Just putting myself down and thinking of the negatives. Thank you for the advice though, it's nice to know that someone can relate to what I'm going through. None of my friends can really relate.

[Sarah96]

I know exactly how you feel! I would cry every night when I went to bed because I couldn't be with him and I was jealous of my friends in relationships with people that they could hug and kiss and be with. We've had a few arguments because I couldn't understand why he was always okay when I would be on the phone bawling my eyes out saying I miss him and just want to be with him. I was questioning if he even loved me since he was never upset and I questioned if he had another girl there. When I look back I feel terrible because I KNOW he loves me and I KNOW he doesn't have other girls there since we talk every second that we're awake there's no way he would have time for another girl.

Anyway, during one of our arguments one day he said "I'm trying to stay strong for you" and that's when it clicked. He was never upset because he didn't love me, it was just that he was hiding his sadness. He was staying strong and being my rock when I was falling apart. At that point I knew I wouldn't trade our relationship for the world. It's definitely hard and there are still times where I cry because I miss him, but that's normal. I just don't let myself fall apart all day everyday.

When we are apart I keep myself busy and when we're together I cherish every moment. We make sure to tell each other we love each other everyday. It's hard to stay positive all the time, it's okay to cry because you miss them, you just can't let it happen all the time. I hope everything works out!

[kittyxuchiha11]

I went through a really tough time similar to this a few months ago and i can honestly say it was so horrible. It was really a mix of everything getting on top of me and i would honestly never go a day without even getting a little bit down about it. I guess my only advice is to try think positively. I know that's going to be said to you a lot but believe me it works. I found talking to my girlfriend about all the different things we could do when we meet really helped and just made that horrible feeling a little bit less horrible. Also having a date for meeting can make you both feel really good and excited, which also hopefully makes you guys to talk about plans and gets you more excited.

Another thing I can suggest is try take out anything that's really stressful to you in your life just now. For me that was school and luckily I was able to leave and go to college. That really helped me because suddenly i was in a more relaxed environment and my anxiety went down loads due to just being in a place where i was happier. Just try help yourself be a little happier by changing little things in baby steps.

I really hope you guys can get through this

[laurenwm]

It's funny because in the beginning of our relationship, I wouldn't be as sad or cry as much as I find myself doing now. He used to be the one telling me he missed me more and he seemed more sad, but now it's me. I guess it's because my feelings developed slower than his, so now I'm at the same stage he was at a few months ago. I'm seeing him again this weekend though, so once I see him everything will be okay. It's just hard in between. I also do have anxiety as well, so I have had a few anxiety attacks about it. Today I took the day off from studying though and had some me time which helped a lot. I also talked through things with him and he made me feel much better. Thanks a lot guys! This is some really good advice I'm sure we'll be able to get through this, we've been officially dating for 9 months but talking for almost 2 years!

[Sarah96]

I'm glad you're feeling better and I continue to wish you two the best!

[Photonut]

We all go through these hard times, its completely normal. You'll get through it!

[laurenwm]

Thanks everyone!