Teens Petrified to tell my mom...

[maadddssss]

I'm 17 and my SO will be 18 in August. We've known each other for five months and we've been dating for three. It may seem fast to some people, but I'm so insanely in love with him. He understands me in a way that no one else can. He's always supportive and loving and I trust him with everything. I'll be entering my last year of high school this year with plans to stay fairly local. He just recently graduated from high school and isn't quite sure what he wants to do with his life. We talk about a future together and how amazing it will be once we can actually be together. But there's a big problem... I'm petrified to tell my mom about him.

We met online on a website called omegle. Even though we Skype daily and message each other all the time, my mom has no idea. Last year, she went through my phone and saw that I had been talking to "strangers" (as she calls them) that I had met the same way I met my SO. She didn't approve at all of my online friends and took away my phone and my computer for a month, at the end of which she made me promise I wouldn't talk to "strangers" anymore. Because of this experience, I'm so scared to tell her about my SO. I'm scared she'll freak out and take away my computer and my phone again. I'm scared she'll completely reject the idea of him and I and that she won't approve of our relationship.

My SO and I have been talking about planning our first meeting and I hate keeping this huge secret from my mom. I want to tell her in hopes that she would let him stay with us if he came to visit, but if she doesn't accept our relationship, I know I'll regret telling her. My SO means everything to me and somedays he's the only reason I keep pushing through. Has anyone been in a similar situation or is there any advice that anyone has for how to deal with this?

[Hollandia]

I'm 17 and my SO will be 18 in August. We've known each other for five months and we've been dating for three. It may seem fast to some people, but I'm so insanely in love with him. He understands me in a way that no one else can. He's always supportive and loving and I trust him with everything. I'll be entering my last year of high school this year with plans to stay fairly local. He just recently graduated from high school and isn't quite sure what he wants to do with his life. We talk about a future together and how amazing it will be once we can actually be together. But there's a big problem... I'm petrified to tell my mom about him.

We met online on a website called omegle. Even though we Skype daily and message each other all the time, my mom has no idea. Last year, she went through my phone and saw that I had been talking to "strangers" (as she calls them) that I had met the same way I met my SO. She didn't approve at all of my online friends and took away my phone and my computer for a month, at the end of which she made me promise I wouldn't talk to "strangers" anymore. Because of this experience, I'm so scared to tell her about my SO. I'm scared she'll freak out and take away my computer and my phone again. I'm scared she'll completely reject the idea of him and I and that she won't approve of our relationship.

My SO and I have been talking about planning our first meeting and I hate keeping this huge secret from my mom. I want to tell her in hopes that she would let him stay with us if he came to visit, but if she doesn't accept our relationship, I know I'll regret telling her. My SO means everything to me and somedays he's the only reason I keep pushing through. Has anyone been in a similar situation or is there any advice that anyone has for how to deal with this?

I can talk to you from both points of view. First it's really natural for a mom to worry about her kid, my daughter is a few years older than you but I remember when she got her first online friends way before I ever met my SO online. At first, I was thinking of nothing but pedophiles pretending to be guys her age and then she let me meet them in Skype web cams. It made the world of difference to me. I would also suggest that you ask your SO's parents to meet your mom on Skype too. Seeing a person face makes you realize they really exist and are who they say they are. I would also suggest that you offer your mom to come with you to meet him the first time if she wants. This will again soften her fears that he is a catfish or sexual predator.

One more thing I would suggest is to invite her to our forums. We are of varied ages and from all over the globe. The only thing I would ask is that you verify on a webcam he is indeed the person you think he is. From your post it seems that you still value your mom's opinion and that is sweet. Talk to her as the adult you are about to become and she will respect you for it.