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    Teens Please help

    Me and my SO met online a little over a year ago. Things were going great for the first 6-7 months, but after that it's been a really rough road. We met for the first time in August, and it seems like ever since then he seems to get really upset over nothing and starts calling me awful things and degrading me. I can't talk to him about it because after it happens he ridicules me for thinking that I'm the victim. Lately, like these past 2 months or so, it's been so bad that it happens every other day or so, unless I give him what he wants. We're supposed to close the gap this summer because I go away to college after this school year. Please help...it's starting to become more than I can handle.

    (You may PM me if you prefer)

    #2
    I will be straightforward here. I am NOT gonna sugar coat this.

    The solution to ending this problem and being happy again is to end this relationship. I say cut your losses.
    He should not be degrading you, EVER. Especially when you should practically still be in the honeymoon-er phalifese. This sounds really toxic to me. Get out while you can and go live your life and have fun! Do you really want someone degrading you when you're dose to be out living your life? I wouldn't.
    I'd say heed my advice, but let's see what others say.
    "We are beings attracted to the essence of hope, and life is the all encompassing hope that everything can change; that everything can be better."

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      #3
      Originally posted by Unconditional View Post
      I will be straightforward here. I am NOT gonna sugar coat this.

      The solution to ending this problem and being happy again is to end this relationship. I say cut your losses.
      He should not be degrading you, EVER. Especially when you should practically still be in the honeymoon-er phalifese. This sounds really toxic to me. Get out while you can and go live your life and have fun! Do you really want someone degrading you when you're dose to be out living your life? I wouldn't.
      I'd say heed my advice, but let's see what others say.
      Agreed. Dump his sorry self. He will never stop.

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        #4
        Yep dump him. I don't understand why so many people think that they need to make relationships last forever. You are 17, these relationships now are for learning what you want and don't want in a partner, not actually for a life long partner. He sounds like an ass and you have learned that is something you don't want in a partner, take what you have learned and walk away

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          #5
          I agree with the others. Dump him and move on. You shouldn't put up with this behaviour. A relationship is about two people supporting each other, not one person degrading the other to get what they want. Eventually, you'll find someone who is more than willing to treat you like you deserve to be treated.

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            #6
            Namecalling you every other day? Degrading you? Wow... Honey, he doesn't want this relationship any more. He wants you to break up. Do it.
            I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
            - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



            "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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              #7
              yup no idea why he thinks that sort of behaviour is acceptable to you.... leave him and don't take him back even if he begs, you deserve to be treated much better!

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                #8
                My ex was totally like this guy. End this relationship, it WON'T get better, in fact it will likely get much worse when you close the distance.

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                  #9
                  I agree with all of the above posts. His behavior is not acceptable and you need to end it NOW. Block him, delete him and do not respond to him. I don't care if he begs and says he'll change - he has proven how he is and you need to let go and move forward with your life.
                  To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

                  ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

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                    #10
                    Think it's time to say to this guy, "Go *fudge* yourself!"

                    You deserve way better. It hurts, but staying with this abusive person will hurt even worse.

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                      #11
                      You say 'We met for the first time in August' and 'Since then he seems to get really upset over nothing and starts calling me awful things' - What was that experience like? A happy/enjoyable one? Or did it not go well?

                      There could be two reasons for your SO's behaviour :
                      1. He isn't physically attracted to you and wants to slowly let you go.
                      2. He can't handle the LDR any more/he has found somebody else.

                      You should talk to him, preferably on the phone or video call, about the issues and how they can be resolved. If he is still unresponsive or continues saying awful things then end it A.S.A.P as things won't get better, that's for sure.
                      Love is patient, Love is kind, Love never fails.

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                        #12
                        u need to break up with him.... I'm honestly surprised he hasn't done it him self yet

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                          #13
                          Do you enjoy the feeling of living on eggshells and maybe some black eyes ? No?
                          Then say goodbye now and never look back. Been there, done that and believe me, where there is smoke there is fire.

                          I never thought it would happen to me, but it did. RUN!!!!!!!!!!
                          "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
                          Benjamin Franklin

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                            #14
                            I agree. You should not allow him to downgrade you. You are a woman and need to stand up for yourself. Your SO should be supportive of you, cherish what you say, and most importantly care for you. Yes arguments happen, but every other day? I know that must cause stress and confusion.

                            The best thing to do honestly is confront him about, put your foot down and express how you feel. If he does not respect your emotions and what you believe, he is not worth your time, and is not the right guy for you.

                            Yes, letting go hurts, but I would rather be free from self doubt and negativity, than to continue being abused mentally.

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