Teens Family Disapproval

[Strawberry&Pineapple]

I live in NC, USA and my SO lives in Denmark (~ 4200 mi apart).

I have no parents (dead) but I do have a guardian, and the rest of my family. Aunts, uncles, etc. They didn't really seem to mind about our relationship, but when I told them that I plan on visiting my SO over the summer, they gave me lots of grief. I'm financially well off so I have the money and passport to travel, its just the fact that they are not being supportive.

Is there anything I can do to avoid a fight and have a peaceful departure?
Thanks very much!

[Sarah96]

Being your family I am sure they are just being protective and looking out for you, they want to protect you and keep you safe, it's their job. Depending on how old you are, you may not be able to travel alone, or it wouldn't be advised. You really just need to talk to them and see how they feel about it and what they think you should do then make sure to explain your feelings. If you are underage and they are your legal guardian then they don't have to let you go, so if you want to go then you need to make sure they are on board with the whole thing.

[snow]

If your SO is comfortable with this, you could skype with each other, let them get to know each other to know that this person you will be meeting is a real person, not a stranger.
I found it helped being confident about the relationship and making them see that this person you talk to is a real person indeed, drop small infobits when talking to them "oh yeah, Stephen loves Christmas", "yeah, we can never have dogs or cats, we're both allergic".

[vicks5721]

I can't relate to your situation as I am 25, but I will say I have a niece who is a teenager and I would feel protective of her as her aunt. I am not saying don't go, I am saying going to Europe by yourself would not be a good idea as a teenager, there is plenty of bad people who kidnap girls etc. I think though reassure your guardians he is a real person, have them skype with each other and have his parents skype with your guardians so they both can feel comfortable with it. I think it is wiser to have someone go with you, preferably an adult go with you the first time. Also it's good to reassure your guardians with details of things you will see and do when you visit your boyfriend.

[The_gentle_Hart]

I can't relate to your situation as I am 25, but I will say I have a niece who is a teenager and I would feel protective of her as her aunt. I am not saying don't go, I am saying going to Europe by yourself would not be a good idea as a teenager, there is plenty of bad people who kidnap girls etc. I think though reassure your guardians he is a real person, have them skype with each other and have his parents skype with your guardians so they both can feel comfortable with it. I think it is wiser to have someone go with you, preferably an adult go with you the first time. Also it's good to reassure your guardians with details of things you will see and do when you visit your boyfriend.

I definitely agree! OP, definitely bring someone with you when you go meet your SO. Make sure your family has seen him in pictures or, better yet, skyped with him beforehand. I'm sure he's a wonderful person, but bear in mind that your family doesn't know him like you do. Just by showing your family members that you're taking safety precautions and being responsible about this should help them see that this is something that's not only important to you, but something that's healthy and safe.

Not to mention, taking a travel buddy is good practice when meeting someone for the first time. I'd recommend a public place (like a cafe or a park so that your travel friend can give you a bit of space, but still be nearby for emergencies) for your first meeting with your SO. That way, again, you will be taking precautions but also you'll get private time with your SO to just bond and chat

[vicks5721]

I definitely agree! OP, definitely bring someone with you when you go meet your SO. Make sure your family has seen him in pictures or, better yet, skyped with him beforehand. I'm sure he's a wonderful person, but bear in mind that your family doesn't know him like you do. Just by showing your family members that you're taking safety precautions and being responsible about this should help them see that this is something that's not only important to you, but something that's healthy and safe.

Not to mention, taking a travel buddy is good practice when meeting someone for the first time. I'd recommend a public place (like a cafe or a park so that your travel friend can give you a bit of space, but still be nearby for emergencies) for your first meeting with your SO. That way, again, you will be taking precautions but also you'll get private time with your SO to just bond and chat

Exactly your family are just being worried about you, I know it may seem like they are against you, but really they are not. They just want you to be safe, they will come around once you arrange for them to skype with your SO to get to know him better and see he is a good person. Also if you show your family you will be responsible and safe when you go to visit your SO they will trust you when you want to go again. A travel buddy is very important and like "gentle hart" said meeting in public places is very wise for the first time you meet your SO. Reassure your family that you will have emergency contact numbers and that you tell them where you will stay, and give them contact numbers of your SO and his family etc.

When I saw the film "Taken" it really opened my eyes to how important it is to do all these things and to tell the truth as well.

[Strawberry&Pineapple]

Thanks Ya'll But...

Exactly your family are just being worried about you, I know it may seem like they are against you, but really they are not. They just want you to be safe, they will come around once you arrange for them to skype with your SO to get to know him better and see he is a good person. Also if you show your family you will be responsible and safe when you go to visit your SO they will trust you when you want to go again. A travel buddy is very important and like "gentle hart" said meeting in public places is very wise for the first time you meet your SO. Reassure your family that you will have emergency contact numbers and that you tell them where you will stay, and give them contact numbers of your SO and his family etc.

When I saw the film "Taken" it really opened my eyes to how important it is to do all these things and to tell the truth as well.

Thanks so much ya'll for your advice! The thing is, I already have a travel buddies, my 26 year old cousin and her husband. My family has skyped with him and his family on more than one occasion. Its not that I need permission or they can hold me back, I just want their blessing and not the whole "If you go, we will not allow you to be part of this family anymore."

When my parents die they left mea large amount of money and a house, where my family is currently living in. Everything is under my name. So if I was a mean person I could just kick them out. Wow I sound like a snob. O.o But they've taken care of me since I was 10. Perhaps not very well considering I learned how to make myself dinner at 11 years old and had to do the grocery shopping for everyone at the same time, etc.

I just don't want them to be mad, or to worry too much. Anything else I can do?

[R&R]

Thanks so much ya'll for your advice! The thing is, I already have a travel buddies, my 26 year old cousin and her husband. My family has skyped with him and his family on more than one occasion. Its not that I need permission or they can hold me back, I just want their blessing and not the whole "If you go, we will not allow you to be part of this family anymore."

When my parents die they left mea large amount of money and a house, where my family is currently living in. Everything is under my name. So if I was a mean person I could just kick them out. Wow I sound like a snob. O.o But they've taken care of me since I was 10. Perhaps not very well considering I learned how to make myself dinner at 11 years old and had to do the grocery shopping for everyone at the same time, etc.

I just don't want them to be mad, or to worry too much. Anything else I can do?

Ok, 3rd edit on this. I may have missed it, but how old are you? I'm glad that you have people going with you and that you have done a lot of the preparation you can in getting your guardians to work with you on this. Do they have complete legal control until you are 18 (if you aren't yet)?

[Ambert]

So, the dissapprovement is so bad that they would tell you that they don't want you to be part of the family anymore?

Also, I think they wouldn't; if they really care and love for you, they will understand that this is something you really want. I don't know what your family is like and it must be very hard not to have parents (so that is probably why you maybe find it even more important for your family to aprove).

I really still wonder tho, how bad would that dissaprovement be? More like, OK we don't think this is a good idea, or OK, please don't think you're welcome ever again.


ps. I know what it's like to have a guardian. I am (used to be) a fosterkid but my fosterparents never actually had that guardianship But I am 18 now so