Teens help with our future

[droaz]

I live in Virginia and my girlfriend lives in Texas. I lived with her in Texas but in the last month I had to move to Virginia for my dad's job. We are very close and in a lot of pain because of this. I'm a junior and she's a sophmore, and I want to go back to Texas and go to college there close to her. The problem is I don't know how it will be possible. My dad says my only choice might be the military, but he doesn't get how serious we are at all and it pisses me off that they don't understand. I am a straight A student in mostly honors classes but I don't know how scholarships work when you want to go to college out of state and whatnot. We seriously plan on being together forever, and I refuse to be long distance until I'm out of high school and then longer if I had to join the military. I will not let that happen. I need some help...

[differentcountries]

Hi,

even if he understands; going to school somewhere can be a big issue.

I suppose that there are places where you can apply for scholarships if you have good grades - perhaps your school supervisors know? Or some kind of school hotline or webpage?

I did go to school somewhere else than my parents for 2 1/2 years from when I was 15 1/2 until I was 17, almost 18. I quarralled with my mum, wanted to get away from my environment and also to be close to where I grew up. I was in a sort of boarding school most of the time (2 different schools) - the last 6 months from 17 1/2 to almost 18 I lived by myself, went to school by myself and handeled all my money (while getting sponsored by my parents obviously). It was great because I was able to live more freely, and gradually learn how to take care of myself and money. It was sometimes frustrating learning how to cook for myself and learning how much money that actually goes to buying stuff like dinner and washing up liquid, but also interesting to be able to experiment. It was a lonely time because I was away from my family a lot, I missed my siblings and my house, and when I moved back I had to share rooms with my sister for a while because my old room was taken by another sister, haha.... The end of childhoodl

Don't be upset with your parents. Everybody is misunderstood by their parents in that age, or so they think. If you want to be treated like an adult, stop sulking and start taking responsability. If you want to be together forever, start by planning how to be able to be close by investigating how you will pay to stay together. If you can't move, maybe your gf can? Go through all your options (with facts), then choose the best one and see how that goes. It might take time. Be patient. Good luck.

[R&R]

As a junior, you really need to focus now on what schools you want to possibly go to and looking into scholarships and grants. (I work in the student loan industry.) When finding colleges you are interested in, you can contact the schools financial aid department and tell them you are interested in the college and find out if they offer scholarships specifically for that college. You can also do a web search for your area regarding scholarships. Where I live, there is a "scholarship fair", which is kind of like a job fair, where businesses and colleges present their scholarships and how you can apply for them.

Please be aware, choosing a college outside of the state where you live can cost substantially more. You may want to look to a technical college back in Texas for your first 2 years to get your core classes taken care of. It won't cost as much and will help you decide if Texas is where you really want to be.

I don't want to put a damper on the enthusiasm for your relationship. It can work when one leaves for college and one is still in high school. However, a lot of times when one enters the college experience, they are open to so many other social situations and settings that high school relationships don't always tend to last. With that being said, I would again stress starting out with a technical college since you will be an out of state student so the cost factor won't be as much for you.

[merlinkitty]

R&R has some great advice. College is a pain in the butt to navigate and figure out how to fund. Out of state tuition can over double the amount of money you're trying to fund. Just as an example, I work for a state university. Undergraduate tuition for 7+ credit hours for an in state student is $5500. Out of state tuition for 7 hours is $8700. If you're taking a full load (12 hours is usually about 4 classes and considered full time in most cases) you're looking at $14500. We're just talking per semester right now. Multiply that over 4 years and you're looking at a number that makes me a little dizzy to think about. I'm not telling you to discourage you, but just to get a reality check on what it is you're talking about.

I moved 2000 miles away from my first major boyfriend when I was 17 years old and getting ready to be a senior in HS. This was back in the day when the internet was still not widespread, AOL was a thing and you had to pay for your email account, cellphones looked like Snickers bars, texting didn't exist, and home phones carried lovely long distance charges. Oh and dinosaurs roamed the earth and I walked to school in the snow uphill both ways lol jk but it was hooorrrrrrrrible. I feel your pain. Truly. I was so upset I kicked a hole in the wall of the house I grew up in a couple days before we left. I was inconsolable. I get it.

And R&R is right. I had made several friends by the time I graduated, and you can't help it. College changes you. The friends I made, we drifted apart. The boyfriend I had, I kept in contact with for several years, even went back to visit him once, but the distance was too much for us.

I would like to suggest you settle into the mindset that you two are going to be in an LDR for the next few years at least. It's easy to struggle and resist what's happened to you. The sooner you accept it and make the most of it, the easier it's going to be for both of you. I'm not going to lie. Living on your own and supporting yourself is not easy. I finally went back to school after a lot of struggle myself. It took me almost 7 years to complete a 4 year program while working full time. And keep in mind when I started back to school I had another almost 10 years of on and off college courses under my belt that I could use in transfer. It could have taken me a lot longer.

With all that said, start looking into your options now. The internet is a lovely resource I didn't have back then so take advantage. You can find tuition and fees on pretty much any major university website. You can find contact information for financial aid advisors and use the resources at your new school. Another one of my ex's sisters actually worked for a guy in HS that helped people apply for grants and scholarships. Find those people in your school. This is a good idea no matter where you end up going to school.