Hey everyone! Happy Easter 
I'm posting two versions of an interesting situation a girl and I are in, one that she wrote and one that I wrote. We'd love to hear any advice that you might have for us and we encourage you to read both as they both have some different details. Thank you!
My version:
Hey! And happy Easter to those celebrating it. I’ve been thinking about making a post here for quite some time about a situation myself and another girl are in. I’ll explain the whole situation here and ask for any advice you might have. Honest replies are best.
So, I’m 17 and from New York and she’s 15 and from California. The way we met was quite unexpected and we never thought we’d like each other so much. We met on reddit in fact and just continued talking since then. We started talking around the New Year and actually haven’t missed a day since then.
After about 2.5 months of talking we decided to try and find a way to meet. We’ve had very long and mature (might I say) discussions about this. About our situation, about if we really like each other or just the idea, about our limits, about everything. We even disagree sometimes but we always manage to talk it out and be mature about it. We also have talked on the phone and skype several times. My feeling is that we’re both sure of what we’re in for and that something like this isn’t easy and there is a fine line between teenage love mongering and wanting something actually meaningful.
So, our plan to meet was to arrange for us both to attend a summer camp this summer. The camp was surrounded around something that is very close in both of our lives: languages and culture. We’re both geography, language, and culture geeks and this summer camp seemed a great idea. We both applied for scholarships and both got them however it now seems due to other circumstances that we cannot meet there. Besides these interests, we’ve really talked about so much and we agree on many many things. And even when we disagree, we’re civil about it. That’s something I really admire in our communication. I admire that we can talk about hard subjects.
I’ll be going to college this fall and she’ll be going into junior year at high school. We’re at sort of a loss on how to meet. We both have the financials for something like this but of course we have worried parents. I personally have had to keep this somewhat on the quiet side with my parents because they are worried it’s too big a part of my life. My question is if something like this is worth pursuing. Any general advice is worth it. We’re both willing to have patience and work through things. The main issues of the relationship are parents and distance and possibly that I’ll be going to college. I’m certain my parents would question me arranging a visit for someone i’ve never met and I understand their point. I'm wondering when I should tell them. I've been thinking about during the beginning of college. If i were to arrange a visit it’d probably be around a break during school. However, I’d like to hear any sort of advice you all are willing to share.
Thank you very much!
Her version:
Hi! I’m 15/F/CA and he’s 17/M/NY. It was a lovely start to the new year: we started talking around the first day of January. We started out on reddit on /r/CasualConversation[2] and one comment led to PMs and then Snapchat and then Skype and texting. Meeting online and starting something with someone far away is not new to me; I have had experience with one other LDR, which ultimately failed because I didn’t believe that I was being treated the way I should have been. After that experience, I never saw something like this coming, but I’m very grateful to have him in my life.
The first time interaction we had was on a /r/CasualConversation[3] thread titled “Introduce yourself!” I wrote an introduction and received multiple replies, but one guy’s reply really stood out to me because he seemed very similar to me. I PMed him, and we continued from there. Because of my esoteric interests, I was surprised to meet someone so much like me, and with whom I could talk to so easily. We talk every spare second we have, but we also know not to make our whole lives around each other, which I think is important. We’ve had conversations about pretty much everything under the sun, and we’ve discussed our fundamental opinions, life philosophies, and also our limits and what we’re comfortable with concerning relationships. I think that we communicate unusually well, especially for people our age. We feel comfortable being open with each other and being honest, something I think is a foundational part of any sort of relationship.
After a few months we finally brought up the idea of meeting each other. We brought up the idea of language camp in Minnesota to our parents. Because that camp is expensive (as fuck, might I add!) we applied for scholarships. Unfortunately, while we did receive some money, we did not receive as much money as we wished for. However, we still tried to make a pitch to our parents. Sadly, my parents were not on board. Though I offered to pay for the camp myself, they still thought it was too expensive and too far from home.
While we spent a significant amount of time searching, we weren’t able to find any other alternative methods of meeting this summer. Right now, we both have money in the bank; he is working and I have a travel fund in which I’ve accumulated nearly $3.5k since 6th grade. If we were to plan a visit, it would almost definitely be him visiting me during a break this fall/winter. By the end of the summer, we would undoubtedly have enough money for a visit.
My primary concern about our relationship is my parents and of course, the distance. I’m willing to wait for him so we can make this work. However, being an only child inevitably comes with extremely protective parents. Both my parents and his parents were LDR couples, so the idea of an LDR would not be foreign to them, but I understand that our relationship could be met with skepticism because we met online. My parents know that he exists and his know that I exist, but we haven’t yet brought up the idea of meeting outside of language camp.
We would love to hear your advice, wisdom, or any comments you may have, perhaps about how to assuage any fears our parents might have, how to manage the financials of an LDR, and things that we can do while we’re not together or when we meet.
We appreciate your time, and thank you for reading!
I'm posting two versions of an interesting situation a girl and I are in, one that she wrote and one that I wrote. We'd love to hear any advice that you might have for us and we encourage you to read both as they both have some different details. Thank you!My version:
Hey! And happy Easter to those celebrating it. I’ve been thinking about making a post here for quite some time about a situation myself and another girl are in. I’ll explain the whole situation here and ask for any advice you might have. Honest replies are best.
So, I’m 17 and from New York and she’s 15 and from California. The way we met was quite unexpected and we never thought we’d like each other so much. We met on reddit in fact and just continued talking since then. We started talking around the New Year and actually haven’t missed a day since then.
After about 2.5 months of talking we decided to try and find a way to meet. We’ve had very long and mature (might I say) discussions about this. About our situation, about if we really like each other or just the idea, about our limits, about everything. We even disagree sometimes but we always manage to talk it out and be mature about it. We also have talked on the phone and skype several times. My feeling is that we’re both sure of what we’re in for and that something like this isn’t easy and there is a fine line between teenage love mongering and wanting something actually meaningful.
So, our plan to meet was to arrange for us both to attend a summer camp this summer. The camp was surrounded around something that is very close in both of our lives: languages and culture. We’re both geography, language, and culture geeks and this summer camp seemed a great idea. We both applied for scholarships and both got them however it now seems due to other circumstances that we cannot meet there. Besides these interests, we’ve really talked about so much and we agree on many many things. And even when we disagree, we’re civil about it. That’s something I really admire in our communication. I admire that we can talk about hard subjects.
I’ll be going to college this fall and she’ll be going into junior year at high school. We’re at sort of a loss on how to meet. We both have the financials for something like this but of course we have worried parents. I personally have had to keep this somewhat on the quiet side with my parents because they are worried it’s too big a part of my life. My question is if something like this is worth pursuing. Any general advice is worth it. We’re both willing to have patience and work through things. The main issues of the relationship are parents and distance and possibly that I’ll be going to college. I’m certain my parents would question me arranging a visit for someone i’ve never met and I understand their point. I'm wondering when I should tell them. I've been thinking about during the beginning of college. If i were to arrange a visit it’d probably be around a break during school. However, I’d like to hear any sort of advice you all are willing to share.
Thank you very much!
Her version:
Hi! I’m 15/F/CA and he’s 17/M/NY. It was a lovely start to the new year: we started talking around the first day of January. We started out on reddit on /r/CasualConversation[2] and one comment led to PMs and then Snapchat and then Skype and texting. Meeting online and starting something with someone far away is not new to me; I have had experience with one other LDR, which ultimately failed because I didn’t believe that I was being treated the way I should have been. After that experience, I never saw something like this coming, but I’m very grateful to have him in my life.
The first time interaction we had was on a /r/CasualConversation[3] thread titled “Introduce yourself!” I wrote an introduction and received multiple replies, but one guy’s reply really stood out to me because he seemed very similar to me. I PMed him, and we continued from there. Because of my esoteric interests, I was surprised to meet someone so much like me, and with whom I could talk to so easily. We talk every spare second we have, but we also know not to make our whole lives around each other, which I think is important. We’ve had conversations about pretty much everything under the sun, and we’ve discussed our fundamental opinions, life philosophies, and also our limits and what we’re comfortable with concerning relationships. I think that we communicate unusually well, especially for people our age. We feel comfortable being open with each other and being honest, something I think is a foundational part of any sort of relationship.
After a few months we finally brought up the idea of meeting each other. We brought up the idea of language camp in Minnesota to our parents. Because that camp is expensive (as fuck, might I add!) we applied for scholarships. Unfortunately, while we did receive some money, we did not receive as much money as we wished for. However, we still tried to make a pitch to our parents. Sadly, my parents were not on board. Though I offered to pay for the camp myself, they still thought it was too expensive and too far from home.
While we spent a significant amount of time searching, we weren’t able to find any other alternative methods of meeting this summer. Right now, we both have money in the bank; he is working and I have a travel fund in which I’ve accumulated nearly $3.5k since 6th grade. If we were to plan a visit, it would almost definitely be him visiting me during a break this fall/winter. By the end of the summer, we would undoubtedly have enough money for a visit.
My primary concern about our relationship is my parents and of course, the distance. I’m willing to wait for him so we can make this work. However, being an only child inevitably comes with extremely protective parents. Both my parents and his parents were LDR couples, so the idea of an LDR would not be foreign to them, but I understand that our relationship could be met with skepticism because we met online. My parents know that he exists and his know that I exist, but we haven’t yet brought up the idea of meeting outside of language camp.
We would love to hear your advice, wisdom, or any comments you may have, perhaps about how to assuage any fears our parents might have, how to manage the financials of an LDR, and things that we can do while we’re not together or when we meet.
We appreciate your time, and thank you for reading!
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