Teens Help understanding what my mom meant.

[TheOnyxStar]

Hello all:
So I finally told my mom that I was in a LDR a couple of weekends ago, she was understanding... to a point. At first she was like "What do mean?" Then after a few more seconds she got it, though she wasn't all upset (as I thought she would be) she still said that it was a relationship in one sense but not in the other. Anyone know what she meant? I thought I knew what she was saying but now I'm just confused and worried that she actually doesn't approve deep down.
Thanks for any help that you give.

[sasad]

As a parent... she means that she is acknowledging that you have a "friend" and that is ok as he is long distance... its not a real relationship because you are not physically there together and dating in real life. As far as her approving or not? We cant answer that as we are not in her head. I will give you wonderful bonus points for communicating that to your mom.. How refreshingly open! Keep talking etc. That will only help you in the long run with your mom. : )

[Mims27]

Some people have a hard time understanding LDRs. So they may not get how you can be in a relationship with someone you've never met. When I told my sister, she's who I told first, she didn't get it at all. She even said it was an "easy way to have a relationship". Little did she know. lol She clearly doesn't think that anymore but it just shows that some people just dont quite get it. She will come around and see that it is serious. Just give it time. Maybe have her meet your SO on skype?

[BaconGirl05]

I can understand your fear of your mother not approving of the relationship. As Mims said, there are some people that don't quite understand long distance relationships.

I don't remember how I told my mom that I was dating someone from another country, but I was younger at the time. I think my mom thought "She just has a good friend from another country." I don't think she looked at it as a real relationship. As time went on, she got better with it and right now, she is very supportive of my relationship. I think she was able to see how serious I was about this guy and the relationship. She hasn't technically met my SO, but they talk when he and I are on Facetime and they really like each other.

I would say let your mother get used to the idea. She may not seem supportive of it, but as time goes on, she will be able to better understand it. Give her time to process the idea. Also, I would say be open and honest with her. No, you don't need to share every little detail of your relationship with her, but if she asks questions because she's curious, just be honest. I promise you, it will help in the long run.

Good luck

[TheOnyxStar]

Thanks for the replies everyone.
My mom knew that I was talking to someone online as a friend before I told her I was in a romantic relationship with my SO. Though I do remember her saying something about how the times we live in now, so perhaps I don't need to worry about her accepting it fully until my SO and I meet in person. So I guess I understand a little more about her thought process.

Thanks again for the advice/replies. 😊

[C.C.]

Well, what others said. Time is important. I think after more and more time passes, she'll see how serious you are. Besides you can talk to her about SO meanwhile, nothing too personal but small details are enough. So that she has idea about what type of person your SO is and what kind of attitude you have towards them~
In my case I don't plan telling my mother that I am in a relationship until I meet him for the first time, though she knows I am friends with him and I often tell her some small details about him. Best of luck to you :3