Teens Telling my parents

[leroysam1]

I'm 17 and talking to a guy I met on the app Whisper almost 7 months ago. I really like him (that's an understatement). We've essentially been dating minus meeting in person. He's in Australia, I'm in US.

I want to tell my parents about him and possibly make plans to meet him, but I'm terrified to tell them for many reasons below. I don't even know where to begin. I know my dad wouldn't approve of him because he is the most conservative person there is. My mom could be a little more open. "Problems" are, I'm 17, he is 24. I have never dated anyone, so the first love thing is a little scary. I was raised Catholic, my dad is Catholic, but my SO is Muslim. Both of my parents can be pretty racist, especially my dad. He is from Pakistan, English is his second language.

These are all things that don't matter to me. I'm not very religious at all and don't care about the age difference or the fact that he's from Pakistan. Obviously he can't change those things about him. I know it will take time for either of my parents to give him a chance, if ever, but where do I even begin? They know absolutely nothing as of now. I would rather tell my mom before my dad (they are divorced) just because she would be more accepting.

[R&R]

As a parent, I can tell you that hiding something from your parents and them finding out way down the road, and possibly not from you, isn't a good thing. Not everything is easy to tell you parents, I understand that.

I'm also divorced from my daughter's father. They both talk quite openly with me and always have. Their dad tends to go flying off the handle without really thinking first. Many times, I end up being the one to talk with him. Right now my 21 year old is dating a man from Texas and her dad and step-mom know about him. They have a pretty good idea that she'll be moving to Texas with me, but we will be sitting down together with her dad to have that conversation. I don't see anything wrong with you telling your mother first.

At age 17, you still rely on your parents as you are a minor. Yes, they will have a say in this - especially if they pay for your phone and your internet connection. Once you are 18, are legal and if you start supporting yourself, then you can do whatever you wish. Until then, I would suggest talking to your mom.

[leroysam1]

Yes, I know it wasn't the best decision to not say anything for this long. That's definitely one thing I regret. And now there really isn't a lot of time to tell her in person. I'll be with my mom for only about 3 weeks until I move in to my college dorm. My biggest problem is how to even bring that up in conversation and how much to say at first. Saying all of that at once would be a huge shock, especially since it is not like me to be in something so crazy

[aoitori]

I also think you should tell your mother first if you feel more comfotrably with this. I know I'm older than you, but I also told my mom first, because I thought she'd be more understanding. I told my dad only when I knew for sure my SO would be willing to meet him. If your parents still get along, you can ask your mom for support with your dad. For me my dad was way more understanding than my mom which surprised me. Sometimes it's all in our minds and not so bad after all, if you just go through with it. Tell your mom you need to talk about something very important to you. Try to make her understand while being understanding for her side. She's just worried about you no matter what she says. That's what you should always remember. Tell her that you need her support, that you love her and understand her feelings, but that you would also like for her to understand you. Just make sure to tell her how serious this is for you before you start talking. I think if she understands that, she'll try to make things work, even if she can't understand it completely, because she loves you. And maybe she's more understanding than you think she'd be And if you could tell it to one parent, you'll also manage to tell the other one I'm sure.

[leroysam1]

Update: I told my mom last Friday. I did not use any words like boyfriend/SO though. I'm not sure if she assumes we are just friends or what. But either way, she was surprisingly very cool about it. Now I just have to figure out how to slowly convince her that he is a really nice guy that I like more than a friend and bring up the idea of possibly a vacation in Australia �� (By the way, now he is 25 and I'm 18, as if that makes a difference lol)