Teens Asking a parent to meet

[Azaelia]

Hello guys!

For two weeks, me and my LDR boyfriend who lives in the states (I live in the UK) have been planning on asking his mum if I can visit him and stay at theirs for a week during December. He's planning on asking her in a couple days, and we're both very worried and nervous about it.
His mum isn't like many of the mums that I've read about in similar stories to this. My boyfriend told me that she doesn't really like talking to people, and his whole family just kind of stay to themselves. But, although it will be hard to convince her, we're going to try.

What we've planned to do is so far, is he's going to ask her, and if he has to, he's going to make sacrifices (that he suggested, not me), like substitute a Christmas present for me coming to visit, and tell her that she can control all the conditions, and she can meet me and my mum. She knows of our relationship, she's known for a while now, and she's seen me before, and she's also used my boyfriends Facebook to stalk my Facebook account.

I'm going to be paying for the trip, I'm looking for a job right now, and I'll be saving up until December, and using my Christmas money as well to go over there, so his family will only have to worry about my accommodation.

We're just really scared to hear her answer, and the next time when we'll both be free to meet would be next summer, and neither of us wants to wait a year.
If I've left out any details, or if you have any questions, please ask! I'm writing this at 3AM my time, so I've probably forgotten a few things.

[R&R]

My first question would be what do your parents say about this? My daugthers are older (20 & 21), but when they were 16 I would not have let them fly to a different country on their own to stay with a family that I don't know. I would have gone along and we would have stayed at a hotel.

[Azaelia]

Thanks for the reply!

My mum is going to be another bridge that we have to cross, but we decided that it would be best to ask her after we hear the response from my S/O's mum. Luckily, my mum is a lot easier to please, and I've always been quite independent. About six months ago, I wanted to go to America and travel around and stay in hotels with my best friend Anika, and as long as I promised to pay for it myself, my mum was alright with that, despite the fact that I'd be staying in random hotels. Unfortunately, the law is different in America, and you have to be 18 to book a hotel room, whereas it's 16 in the UK. Due to this, we couldn't go. I have a feeling that asking her about this would go a lot better, for many reasons.

Firstly, she could meet my S/O's mum, and they could discuss the arrangements, and trust that I'd be in safe hands. Also, my mum has known of my S/O since we were just friends, since 2013, and has seen him and heard him multiple times. They've met and spoke, and my mum trusts him. As well as this, my dad is 100% supportive of me and my LDR, as he's asked me if I was planning on visiting him, and told me that it would be a great idea. As well as this, he's also offered to host one of his visits to England in the future. However, my mum and my dad are separated, so although my dad is all for the idea, it doesn't mean I can go, as I live with my mum for the majority of the time. But as long as I show that I am responsible, and she knows exactly what the plan is, and I pay for everything and do not rely on her, I believe that I can convince my mum a lot easier than my S/O can convince his - that's the real issue.

[Azaelia]

Does anyone have any suggestions? It's coming up very soon, and I'm still at a loss for ideas.

[R&R]

As a parent, if my child wants something (especially this important), they need to flat out ask. No games, no hinting - just up and ask. You'll get a yes or a no. Until you know if his mom agrees to your visit, there is no point in even worrying about anything else. If she says yes, then you can immediately discuss it with your parents. If they say yes, then you can worry about the logisitics.