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So confused and heartbroken.

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    Teens So confused and heartbroken.

    So.. recently my gf got back from vacation.. (I got back today). Since we didn't have wifi, it was hard for us to talk.. and I could see how feelings could fade some.. but not completely.
    Anyways, yesterday she told me hours after texted her that she'd been playing a game with her friends (how we met, I had the same group of friends) and didn't see my text because of it.
    I told her I felt like I was slowly losing her.. and deep inside.. I felt like there was someone else she was in love with.. because before she told me she thought about breaking up with me. She acknowledged my fear, but didn't show any signs that things would be okay.
    Later that day, she told me she that she lied about playing the game, that she was actually talking to a guy she's known since she was 5. So suddenly he tells her he's secretly loved her all these years.. She says she doesn't know who to love anymore. She then used the excuse that distance was a problem, and that we'd never meet.. but I was going to be there in 2 years.. after I said that.. she said she didn't want to tell me the real reason.
    I couldnt believe what she said. She told me she didn't love me anymore.. it's not possible! It just seems so unfair, and confuses me to death because she just told me this all today.. I love her.. and she was my life.. my dreams.. my future.. it can't just disappear in the blink of an eye like that. I know they say "All's fair in love and war", but it just seems impossible to me for that to happen that quickly.
    I still don't want to let her go. I've never loved anyone like her.. and she told me the same thing.
    I told her I still wanted to be friends.. but I think she knows the truth.. that I don't want to let her go.. I just don't want to lose contact with her.. because she's the love of my life..

    Sorry about all the emotion.. I'm just really confused and don't know what to do at this point. I don't want to lose her. I'm still in shock, after knowing this all day. What do I do? Please, I can't just let go like that..

    #2
    Originally posted by Inspir3d View Post
    So.. recently my gf got back from vacation.. (I got back today). Since we didn't have wifi, it was hard for us to talk.. and I could see how feelings could fade some.. but not completely.
    Anyways, yesterday she told me hours after texted her that she'd been playing a game with her friends (how we met, I had the same group of friends) and didn't see my text because of it.
    I told her I felt like I was slowly losing her.. and deep inside.. I felt like there was someone else she was in love with.. because before she told me she thought about breaking up with me. She acknowledged my fear, but didn't show any signs that things would be okay.
    Later that day, she told me she that she lied about playing the game, that she was actually talking to a guy she's known since she was 5. So suddenly he tells her he's secretly loved her all these years.. She says she doesn't know who to love anymore. She then used the excuse that distance was a problem, and that we'd never meet.. but I was going to be there in 2 years.. after I said that.. she said she didn't want to tell me the real reason.
    I couldnt believe what she said. She told me she didn't love me anymore.. it's not possible! It just seems so unfair, and confuses me to death because she just told me this all today.. I love her.. and she was my life.. my dreams.. my future.. it can't just disappear in the blink of an eye like that. I know they say "All's fair in love and war", but it just seems impossible to me for that to happen that quickly.
    I still don't want to let her go. I've never loved anyone like her.. and she told me the same thing.
    I told her I still wanted to be friends.. but I think she knows the truth.. that I don't want to let her go.. I just don't want to lose contact with her.. because she's the love of my life..

    Sorry about all the emotion.. I'm just really confused and don't know what to do at this point. I don't want to lose her. I'm still in shock, after knowing this all day. What do I do? Please, I can't just let go like that..
    Breakups are tough, especially when you're on the receiving end. If you can learn some things from this as your young age, it will help you along as you go through life, dating, and future relationships & breakups.

    First, when someone tells you that it's over, believe them. Respect that decision. Yes, it sucks when it's not a mutual breakup, but you can't make someone love you. You can't make someone be with you. Letting go may not be easy or what you want but it's the right thing. Why would you want to be with someone who has clearly stated that you are not what they want? Be with someone who wants to be with you.

    Second, never make another person or relationship your life. You are an individual. Even as a teenager, you must have a very full life. School, friends, sports, clubs, etc. You need to focus on those things now. When you can maintain all those things and not lose yourself in a relationship, that's the first step to knowing you are really ready for one.

    Third, you don't have to be friends with someone after a breakup. Usually it's too raw for that right away. After time, it's possible you can be friends. And you never know, after some time has passed, you may not want to be friends any more.

    Now is the time to take time for yourself. Don't spend a lot of time dwelling on this. Throw yourself back into the things you enjoy. It will get better. We've all been there and survived it. You will too.
    To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

    ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by R&R View Post
      Breakups are tough, especially when you're on the receiving end. If you can learn some things from this as your young age, it will help you along as you go through life, dating, and future relationships & breakups.

      First, when someone tells you that it's over, believe them. Respect that decision. Yes, it sucks when it's not a mutual breakup, but you can't make someone love you. You can't make someone be with you. Letting go may not be easy or what you want but it's the right thing. Why would you want to be with someone who has clearly stated that you are not what they want? Be with someone who wants to be with you.

      Second, never make another person or relationship your life. You are an individual. Even as a teenager, you must have a very full life. School, friends, sports, clubs, etc. You need to focus on those things now. When you can maintain all those things and not lose yourself in a relationship, that's the first step to knowing you are really ready for one.

      Third, you don't have to be friends with someone after a breakup. Usually it's too raw for that right away. After time, it's possible you can be friends. And you never know, after some time has passed, you may not want to be friends any more.

      Now is the time to take time for yourself. Don't spend a lot of time dwelling on this. Throw yourself back into the things you enjoy. It will get better. We've all been there and survived it. You will too.
      I know you're right, and I'm letting her go.. but I don't understand her choice at all.. one day she and me talking about me moving there, the next there's someone else and she doesn't love me anymore. I just feel like she doesn't want to wait for me to be there, and wants a guy now, one who can be with her. It just isn't fair...

      EDIT: I've said my goodbye for a while, and deleted all trace of her besides her contact on my phone. I'm trying my hardest to get over her.
      Last edited by Inspir3d; August 30, 2016, 02:20 PM.

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        #4
        Take time to look after yourself

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          #5
          It's hard to step away but you've done the right thing. Right now, it's all about you getting yourself back in a good place. Take care of you.
          To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

          ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

          Comment

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