Teens Problem with parents and confusion

[Stanislava]

Hello ive been having problems recently with my parents after my boyfriends first visit here..he stayed with us for 20 days and we went to the beach together and many other places.it was amazing but its not like it was all rainbows and flowers , we did have some arguments.
However during the visit and after it my parents had a talk with me that made me very confused and sad. They really liked him actually they say he is a great person with a pure soul , which he is. But they say at this age i shouldn't have serious relationships like this one... They think i should just go around and date guys and not develop deep feelings. But that's not me. This isn't my first relationship , I've had a few before so i do have some experience but I've never felt the way i feel with him. We've been together for over a year and really love each other.
Our lives arent the easiest despite our young age. He lives alone because he doesnt have a good connection with his mother , his parents divorced when he was 12 or so and he has a lot of trauma from the way he was raised as a child. He goes to college now and trying to get stuff prepared to go to uni.
Me on the other hand , i grew up sort of poorly so i had to save and fight for everything ive had in life.Im in highschool and am studying very hard to make my dreams come true.I had my best result this year actually even tho my parenrs were worried that id have lower grades bcs of my relationship.Ive always been introverted and very closed off from other people(which causes me some problems) but with my boyfriend im an open book.
We are always there for each other ,support and help each other with whatever we can and we've both grown a lot since we are together.We have a plan to close the distance in 2018 when ill move to UK to study and we would be living together and studying.
Ill stop ranting now and get to the point of this thread.Do you think my parents are right?Are we too young to be so serious about each other(we are 17)?I really need some help on this

[C.C.]

This is coming from another young person. (I am almost 20, but still.)

I don't agree with your parents. We, younger ones, shouldn't rush, yes. You shouldn't go and think you are ready for marriage with your boyfriend and you shouldn't let some expectations pressure you. You have a lot more to see, changes to go through. I have changed quite a bit in the last 2-3 years, for example. Entering university is the whole new stage of life too.
But, seriousness of YOUR FEELINGS is not something anyone can define or choose for you. The whole post above shows how you feel already, and, really, YOU are the only one who knows your relationship dynamics despite your parents having seen it in person. They are more experienced and they know better, but also, they are being more careful. We young ones are stupid, but there's something beautiful in that sometimes, don't you think?
Seriously, though, There are people (like me, you probably, etc) who simply can't go and date without developing deep feelings and there's nothing wrong in that. There's nothing wrong in loving someone! You WILL change A LOT, but that doesn't mean what is now isn't right or shouldn't be so. Or that you should somehow go with some shallow dating just because you are young.

Listen to what your parents have to say, yes, but don't let it get to you or bring you down like this either.

[Stanislava]

This is coming from another young person. (I am almost 20, but still.)

I don't agree with your parents. We, younger ones, shouldn't rush, yes. You shouldn't go and think you are ready for marriage with your boyfriend and you shouldn't let some expectations pressure you. You have a lot more to see, changes to go through. I have changed quite a bit in the last 2-3 years, for example. Entering university is the whole new stage of life too.
But, seriousness of YOUR FEELINGS is not something anyone can define or choose for you. The whole post above shows how you feel already, and, really, YOU are the only one who knows your relationship dynamics despite your parents having seen it in person. They are more experienced and they know better, but also, they are being more careful. We young ones are stupid, but there's something beautiful in that sometimes, don't you think?
Seriously, though, There are people (like me, you probably, etc) who simply can't go and date without developing deep feelings and there's nothing wrong in that. There's nothing wrong in loving someone! You WILL change A LOT, but that doesn't mean what is now isn't right or shouldn't be so. Or that you should somehow go with some shallow dating just because you are young.

Listen to what your parents have to say, yes, but don't let it get to you or bring you down like this either.

Thank you so much for your reply it definetly makes me feel less alone.Yes i understand , i personally dont want to get married before i finish my education and have some sort of stable carrier , which me and my boyfriend have talked about and both agreed on.I agree its beatiful how we young ones are kind of silly something else i forgot to mention is that during the visit my parents thought we were going too fast because we were physically expressing our love for each other (you know a lot of kissing,cuddling,holding hands) which i dont agree on because we had waited for more than a year to do that when we are physically together so it felt natural and very nice to finally be able to do that.I believe they just cant come to accept that im not their little girl whose love is just for them and stuff ^-^ they must be jealous haha

[Stanislava]

This is coming from another young person. (I am almost 20, but still.)

I don't agree with your parents. We, younger ones, shouldn't rush, yes. You shouldn't go and think you are ready for marriage with your boyfriend and you shouldn't let some expectations pressure you. You have a lot more to see, changes to go through. I have changed quite a bit in the last 2-3 years, for example. Entering university is the whole new stage of life too.
But, seriousness of YOUR FEELINGS is not something anyone can define or choose for you. The whole post above shows how you feel already, and, really, YOU are the only one who knows your relationship dynamics despite your parents having seen it in person. They are more experienced and they know better, but also, they are being more careful. We young ones are stupid, but there's something beautiful in that sometimes, don't you think?
Seriously, though, There are people (like me, you probably, etc) who simply can't go and date without developing deep feelings and there's nothing wrong in that. There's nothing wrong in loving someone! You WILL change A LOT, but that doesn't mean what is now isn't right or shouldn't be so. Or that you should somehow go with some shallow dating just because you are young.

Listen to what your parents have to say, yes, but don't let it get to you or bring you down like this either.

Thank you so much for your reply it definetly makes me feel less alone.Yes i understand , i personally dont want to get married before i finish my education and have some sort of stable carrier , which me and my boyfriend have talked about and both agreed on.I agree its beatiful how we young ones are kind of silly something else i forgot to mention is that during the visit my parents thought we were going too fast because we were physically expressing our love for each other (you know a lot of kissing,cuddling,holding hands) which i dont agree on because we had waited for more than a year to do that when we are physically together so it felt natural and very nice to finally be able to do that.I believe they just cant come to accept that im not their little girl whose love is just for them and stuff ^-^ they must be jealous haha

[C.C.]

Thank you so much for your reply it definetly makes me feel less alone.Yes i understand , i personally dont want to get married before i finish my education and have some sort of stable carrier , which me and my boyfriend have talked about and both agreed on.I agree its beatiful how we young ones are kind of silly something else i forgot to mention is that during the visit my parents thought we were going too fast because we were physically expressing our love for each other (you know a lot of kissing,cuddling,holding hands) which i dont agree on because we had waited for more than a year to do that when we are physically together so it felt natural and very nice to finally be able to do that.I believe they just cant come to accept that im not their little girl whose love is just for them and stuff ^-^ they must be jealous haha

My parents would freak out if I did that, lol
But don't you think it comes form a certain mentality or something? I don't know how it works in Bulgaria, but for example, my parents think physical expression should happen on later stages, like when a couple is engaged or something. Whereas I don't give that much meaning to it and I think it should accompany the relationship whenever the couple feels comfortable about it.

[Stanislava]

My parents would freak out if I did that, lol
But don't you think it comes form a certain mentality or something? I don't know how it works in Bulgaria, but for example, my parents think physical expression should happen on later stages, like when a couple is engaged or something. Whereas I don't give that much meaning to it and I think it should accompany the relationship whenever the couple feels comfortable about it.

Ah well older generation bulgarians are old fashioned.. Because of that i couldnt kiss or hug my SO in public like other "normal"couples do (my boyfriend is mixed race so he has a bit darker skin and in Bulgaria, women being with a foreign guy is kind of taboo for a lot of people, they think we should just date bulgarians). There are cases where random people attack international and especially interracial couples like us
I tried adding a photo i dont if it will with cus this is my first time putting a photo on this forum but we look kinda sad , it was our last day together. My point is i dont think we look that different like it might just be me but i dont see people in nationality or color. That's the link https://goo.gl/photos/c8ZZ7R2Tnea3WXZ46

[C.C.]

Ah well older generation bulgarians are old fashioned.. Because of that i couldnt kiss or hug my SO in public like other "normal"couples do (my boyfriend is mixed race so he has a bit darker skin and in Bulgaria, women being with a foreign guy is kind of taboo for a lot of people, they think we should just date bulgarians). There are cases where random people attack international and especially interracial couples like us
I tried adding a photo i dont if it will with cus this is my first time putting a photo on this forum but we look kinda sad , it was our last day together. My point is i dont think we look that different like it might just be me but i dont see people in nationality or color. That's the link https://goo.gl/photos/c8ZZ7R2Tnea3WXZ46

Aww you two look cute together :3

I never know how to define Georgia, but its culture is definitely closest to Eastern European one, both culturally and historically. We are Orthodox too. So yeah, I kind of understand some of that quite well.

My SO is the opposite, really really pale as people in North usually are, and he sure as heck looks as foreigner as possible. I have also thought that I can't really display affection in public because the people around will get wrong ideas and heck, I've even told my SO that I am scared to go to his place when he'll visit cause I know what the people around there will think. (And then I asked whether I'd look like a tourist too if I tried hard, but he said my accent would give me away )
No way someone will attack us, but the idea I have, not sure how close I am to truth, is that some people (from older generations at least) consider that I am going for a foreigner because I can get sex (which is wrong) and consider me slutty.
It's not okay for "normal" couples to display public affection either, though. And according to my parents, it's not okay to ever display affection. So yeah, older people (and even some younger ones) are pretty old-fashioned over here too.

[Stanislava]

Aww you two look cute together :3

I never know how to define Georgia, but its culture is definitely closest to Eastern European one, both culturally and historically. We are Orthodox too. So yeah, I kind of understand some of that quite well.

My SO is the opposite, really really pale as people in North usually are, and he sure as heck looks as foreigner as possible. I have also thought that I can't really display affection in public because the people around will get wrong ideas and heck, I've even told my SO that I am scared to go to his place when he'll visit cause I know what the people around there will think. (And then I asked whether I'd look like a tourist too if I tried hard, but he said my accent would give me away )
No way someone will attack us, but the idea I have, not sure how close I am to truth, is that some people (from older generations at least) consider that I am going for a foreigner because I can get sex (which is wrong) and consider me slutty.
It's not okay for "normal" couples to display public affection either, though. And according to my parents, it's not okay to ever display affection. So yeah, older people (and even some younger ones) are pretty old-fashioned over here too.

Aww thank you!i see , it seems even worse than Bulgaria which i didnt think existed haha.And wow their belief that youre dating a foreigner to get sex is quite rude.If we lived together in UK affection wouldnt be a problem cause people are much more open minded atleast