Teens Too anxious to call

[beumerpit]

Hey, I'm a 14 year old guy from the Netherlands, and I'm in a two month-old relationship with a 14 year old girl from Lithuania. Sadly she has social anxiety, and it's a disorder. It's really hard for her to talk to people she doesn't know, for a big crowd or on the phone. We have send snapchat videos of each other trying to pronounce words from our languages, so I'm sure I'm not being catfished.
The problem is, we have tried a couple of times to call, and last minute she calls it off and says she is too anxious and get's a panic attack... she also has astma what makes it very difficult to breath when she is nervous.
Could somebody please give advice?

Thanks!

[kaitlinemma]

First of all, I think it's so sweet you're writing this in the interest of your girlfriend- so sweet! Anyways, I'm currently in a relationship with a boy from the Netherlands and I'm also very anxious when it comes to phone calls (I have asthma too!) so I totally understand what you guys are going through. In my experience, I found it very comforting to not put much pressure on the phone call. Basically, I would tell my boyfriend that for the first 30 seconds we just wouldn't talk much, just so I could relax and ease into the phone call. That always helped because it mentally prepared me. After that, we would talk slow and keep everything relaxed and calm. Now that I'm very comfortable on the phone with him, it's so much easier! Don't forget to remind her that you want to call her so you can be that much closer to each other even if it's just with voices. Everything you're doing is for love- that should make it a little easier. I hope this helps. Good luck!

[erwin1973]

That always helped because it mentally prepared me. After that, we would talk slow and keep everything relaxed and calm. Now that I'm very comfortable on the phone with him, it's so much easier

I think that is a very good advice! Just listen to each other breathing, calming down. And of course you can also do that on Skype - without using the cam, it will keep the costs down, too.

Good luck from me, too.