Teens am i being unrealistic?? NEW ldr!!

[sorrry]

okay so, i'm really new at this forum thing and i came across this website and i hope it helps.

so to begin, i flew across the country to visit my best friend for a week and stayed with her. her boyfriend was out of town, so they wanted to facetime each other. i was in the room with her while they were on facetime talking and everything, and then he had a friend in the room next to him as well. and i muted the facetime call and turned to my friend and said "omg his friend is so cute" like thinking nothing of it. the next day, we added each other on snapchat and started texting. from then on, we have been talking back and forth, nonstop, for almost a month now. we even got to hangout while i was there!! so i've actually met him! its obvious we both like each other a lot, but we hesitated about dating because i eventually had to go back home all the way across the other country and thought it would be hard because of the distance. we facetime every night and watch movies together on netflix through facetime and it feels like we are dating and we both want to but don't know if it'll work with the distance??? hes so sweet and funny and not to mention, VERY CUTE!!! my feelings are so strong and so are his.

so far, i am planning to fly back and visit him again around christmas! the only thing is, his mom apparently doesn't like me that much only because i am 19 and he is 17. is the age difference really that much of a problem to where his mom doesn't like me?? i also told my mom about him and my mom is perfectly okay with it, but she's only afraid of me getting my heart broken because of the distance. i really need advice on how to go about this and what i should do. we really want to date because we pretty much already are i guess, but we dont know if it'll work out. is it realistic???

any help or responses would be greatly appreciated!! xo

[erwin1973]

Hi and welcome.

In my opinion, age is just a number. You're as old as you act, I think. My lady and I differ 10½ years, although I'm older. But just disliking someone because of her age... I don't understand that.

Some people do not understand how beautiful an LDR can be, and how strong love can grow because of that. Isn't it just beautiful that people can fall in love with each other without ever touching physically? When both are honest, you learn to know each other so much better in an LDR...

Well. The precious situation is that you are an adult, so you can pretty much do as you please. But he is a minor, so his parents have some jurisdiction over him. And since it's their home you'll be visiting, they can refuse you entrance. Only the reason why sucks, if you ask me.

You'll never know if it works out. My marriage failed after 10½ years. You never know, but it's always worth a try, you know.

I don't have any advice about how to deal with his mother, actually. I'm sorry about that. May be others have. There are some pretty clever people around here always willing to help.

Good luck.

[kittyo9]

Age matters a lot less as you get older, but when you're a teenager, a two-year difference can seem really big, even if it doesn't feel like it to you. I don't think it's right to dislike you simply because of your age, but I wonder if his mother has other reasons that she's not saying, such as being concerned about his transition into college/university (if he's going) and dating someone who isn't in exactly the same place as he is in life. It might also be because you're new and she hasn't met you, so she's thinking, "Why is some 19-year-old interested in my 17-year-old son?" He is still a child to her and she may be worried that he's not ready for an adult relationship. All speculation, of course-- I don't know her, so I cannot say for sure.

My sister is your age and my mom is really worried about her dating someone right now because she thinks my sister should see lots of people and not get tied to any of them so she can focus on school (which I personally disagree with-- I'm all about the committed relationships, but I agree that her focus should be on school). My mom is worried that the emotional toll of the relationship (which is partially LD, actually) will affect my sister's performance. Just some perspective.

You can totally date him and have a fulfilling relationship from a distance, though, so don't think of it as being unrealistic! I think seeing him in December again is a good option, provided you have the means to do so (which I assume you do). A parent will always be worried about their child, but you are an adult, and you have met this person in real life before. You won't be able to change your SO's mom's mind by doing anything specific-- just keep being a good person and a good girlfriend. Sometimes people just take time to warm up to newcomers.

[TSM]

It is realistic, you just need to be committed. Communicate with each other every day so you don't drift apart. My current relationship started last December and we have talked every day since except for three or four. Don't waste any time when you are physically together