Teens Urgent! I'm lost

[8.922miles]

I met a guy a while ago and we started liking each other and then decided we wanted to be together, however we're literally continents apart and we decided that when I finished high school I would enter a college in his country, it was all going great but suddenly he said that even though he wants to be with me it's killing him to wait this long and he said the only way to save our relationship is for me to go there right now, I don't have that kind of money and there's no way my parents would give it to me, but I love him and I don't want to lose him
What do I do?
What can I do?

[erwin1973]

Hi and welcome.

I myself am a bit allergic to the 'You have to do this and that to save our relationship'- thing. If he wants to be with you, and I am pretty serious in this question, why isn't he coming to you? He knows you're a minor (!!), you have your school and you have your parents who are responsible for you. Also, it depends on how long you have been together. 2 months, 2 years? And moving in with somebody who you have never met before, or may be even never seen before, is a risky business for a young lady (I assume you're a girl, in this...).

So, if he keeps pushing and really can't wait, that to me would be a red flag. Love is patient. Of course if you really love each other, you want to be together, but there should also be the realistic side.

I hope that you have little help of this. I have little info to go by, so my apologies if I made inaccurate assumptions.

[Elzah]

Hello,
I can understand his feelings, the fact it hurts him to wait for being with you, but according to what you wrote, he doesn't seem to do much on his side to close the distance
You're talking about moving to another place for him, but would he be ready to do the same thing for you ? He shouldn't put the responsability of your relationship on you that way
Also,you're really young and still in highschool for now, you can't join him and you must not sacrifice your studies, or even a part of your life for this relationship
Have you guys already met ? If not, you should plan a meeting soon,before taking serious decision as moving to another continent to be with him, plus, it would help the situation
Have you guys discussed about why he suddenly can't handle the distance anymore ?
However, if he really loves you,he will either wait for you or find a way to be with you

[Fedorya]

Being a teen in an intercontinental LDR is harsh, and lets be honest, most of the time impossible.
I don't want to make you feel bad, not at all, but as much as love is powerfull and magic, lets be honest, to maintain a working LDR, specially intercontinental, you need money and a good amount of freedom.

In short, the opposite of highschool teen agers.

I don't say, don't be in love with someone on the other side of the world, we never know when love gonna strike.
But a teenager LDR is radicaly different than an adult LDR, in both feelings/emotions/goals

For this guy :

-He can't wait till college to be with you ?
Then end up the relationship right now. He doesn't have what it take to be in LDR (an average LDR last years).
In the end, he gonna agonize of the wait and distance, and gonna end up doing mistakes (the most probable is cheating, unless you both agree for an open LDR)
He gonna become extremly needy and clingy, to the point that he will become irritable and aggressive if you don't answer ASAP his texts, or too busy to take a phone call.

-the only way to save our relationship is for me to go there right now.
You are both at most new girlfriend/boyfriend, you are not married or promised to each others, he have no rights at all to order you something like that.
Plus, he is doing an emotional blackmail already ?
That tell you long about him and what type of man he is.
And it rarely get better once you settle togethers.

-You don't have money to go live with him, and noway your parent give it to you ?
I hope so !
I don't want to think about what king of parents that would help her teenage kid to go live with a man on another continent while she still in highschool.

You are very young, at an age where women are controlled and ruled by their emotions.
So lets say you give up everything and move to live with him on another continent, nothing tell you that you will still be togethers in 6 months, and with your age and situation, you will litteraly be alone and stuck on another continent.

Sorry i may look rude in my talking, but that not my intention at all.
What i want to make you understand, is that the world is not all butterfly and rainbow.
You are very young, you have time to think about leaving to another country to make your life.

You know eachothers for a small time, would you be ready to leave your familly, friends, town, country, and everything you have right now, to start over in another country with someone you barely know ? And probably never met yet ?

Plus on his side, aside from bossing you, he doesn't seem to do anything he ask from you.
Why shouldn't he be the one to come see you ?

If you want my honest PERSONAL opinion : End up the relationship right now. If its already start like this, it never gonna last.
LDR are beautifull, and it is truely an amazing journey.
In the end, it make your couple way more stronger than any normal relationship.
Intercontinental ones are in my opinion the best of all LDR, as it open and broaden your mind so much by meeting and learning your SO culture/way of life and points of view. It litteraly make you grow as an human being.
But you have to accept that you will probably fail multiple times (and becoming better at it), and have to live a long time without the physical contact of your SO.

All you need is to find the good one.