Teens LDR and in highschool... Opinions/advice please?

[teddybear]

I'm wondering if what I have with this girl is something that's going to be worthwhile, or if I should let it go

So, I'm 15 and I met my gf around almost 11 months ago, and maybe it's dumb to say for those who are older reading this but I think we've been pretty serious and mature about it, and it's great. We've been through a lot in this past year and we've stayed committed to pulling through everything that comes our way. Be that people trying to tear us apart, school life taking up our time, etc. We know eachother inside and out. We've been really happy with eachother. We've texted all throughout the day and I've called her every night before she has to go to school. However just recently I called a break because I've been thinking about something. Lately that lack of physical contact has really been hurting and that want for a normal kind of relationship where we can do things together has been really bothering me, but I still do really love her. She wants me to stay but I want to ask you all about what I should do because I feel really overwhelmed thinking about it,

We can't meet eachother until I graduate, which is in 2 years. We've been together almost a year now. Do you think we'll be able to pull through, even with all the changes that come in highschool? A lot can happen in 2 years. Also, do you think even if we could, this is a good idea? We have an 8 hour time difference and I feel like the relationship has kind of affected my irl relationships just with friends and everyone because I'm so absorbed into taking care of her, talking to her, taking care of the relationship etc it's kind of affecting my social life irl. I don't want this to sound selfish either (even though maybe it is), but also urges come with being in highschool and I've never dated anyone properly before her and it's becoming kind of depressing that I have to wait 2 years until a first kiss, holding hands, being able to let loose at parties, and not to mention my parents don't know and probably think I'm socially inept because I'm not doing any of these things LOL. I was thinking that an LDR in highschool is kind of holding me back from experiencing a lot of things that typically I would be. But at the same time I love her with all my heart you have no idea and I feel like she's the only one who gets me, the only one I could genuinely love so much, I don't think I could love anyone like I love her again. I can't have both. I can't be able to experience all those things AND have her. It's running the risk of having her move on from me, and losing what incredible thing we have. I thought of how maybe if we still have feelings in 2 years when we can see eachother then we will have no problem finding eachother again, and for now we can experience whatever and not be tied down by the demands of a LDR, but she doesn't really understand my reasoning and is kind of upset by it, so now I'm questioning how realistic this is. I feel like it's almost stupid that I'm questioning what I should do because I feel so lucky to have found someone who really loves me like she does and someone I love so much at the age I'm at, and I know older people reading this will probably think I'm insane and have no idea what I'm talking about but this to me really feels real. I'm just confused. And I'm worried. And I don't know what I should do. I don't want to give her up but there's so much I'm missing out on. Should I be grateful and just suck it up and stick it out? Or should I really allow myself that break and leave this crazy amazing thing behind? What's more important? It feels like a life or death decision

Thanks for any responses <3

[karikala]

Hey, it's not crazy c: It's so nice to hear that you've been able to find someone that you click so well with.

I'm sorry about how long you'll have to wait- I didn't meet my gf for the first time until 1.5 years after we admitted feelings, and that still felt Too Long. Even if you haven't met yet, you start to miss them as if you have.
One thing I have learned in the time we've been together is how much life can change as time goes on. When we first admitted feelings, I couldn't imagine a situation where I could go visit her. She lives almost the same distance as your situation (she's 9 timezones away). Plus I had no idea how to explain this to my parents.
But some months later, my sisters decided to plan a summer trip in europe, and I excitedly realized I'd be able to drop by at my gf's for like 3 days. I was bummed at how short it would be, but it was better than nothing.
But then more time went on, and that trip got dropped.... - then I was able to replace it with a 1-month long, solo trip with my gf. Unfortunately, I didn't feel comfortable telling the whole situation to my family, so I had to lie a bit at first, which was stressful. But all the waiting and the stress leading up to the trip ended up being 200% worth it. I still consider the first day we met one of the happiest of my life.
basically, i'm saying: unless there is something specifically barring you from meeting, there's a possibility things can change? Not saying it will happen (and since you're still under 18, it's possible things are more restricted) but there's always a chance.

LDR is hard. really, really hard. it's not fair for someone to say "it's always worth it!" because everyone's situation is different. I know, especially living in such different timezones, communication is hard... explaining the situation to friends/family is hard- so you might feel quite isolated, because such a big part of your life is unknown to them... waiting for the next meeting is HARD. All of that might outweigh the benefits. It really is up to you, in the end. (For me, after we did meet, I felt more comfortable telling my family and friends - and that was a huge weight off my shoulders)

I know you know it, but yes you're right, you're young. You will love/care about many people as you go through life, all in different ways and intensities. You will not forget them. High school/university are full of experiences that are pretty exclusive for their environments. It's up to you to consider how things have been, how things could be. Maybe you'll make a wrong decision, but in that case, you'll learn from it. In fact, one of my biggest regrets ended up leading me to meet my gf and get closer to her in the first place.
Good luck, with whatever happens. and I hope the best for you c:

PS: Nice icon C: