Hello everyone, I am 14 and just started my LDR a couple of days ago. Before this, my Boyfriend and I lived in the same state (Michigan) and went to the same high school. He is 15, so he didn't have a choice but to move to Arizona with his parents. We've almost been together for a year. I'm scared that my derealization will come back. Derealization is when you feel like disconnected from the world, like everything is fake. I don't have a disorder for this, it's I haven't had an episode of this ever since I started going to Church with my boyfriend a couple months ago, until now. I've been being delusional thinking we'll never break the distance or that he's in school with me. It's going to be really difficult to see him because his Dad does not know were dating and he's racist, i'm a mixture of African American and Arabic. My depression has gone up so much since he left, I don't have the will to go to school, I can't sleep right, eat, etc. He's 3 hours behind me now. We plan on living together at 18, either I go there or he comes here. I'm going to try to get a job at 16, I think he is too, and save up. And wherever we end up go to colleges around there. Is this even realistic?
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You need to take care of yourself before you can even begin to worry about your relationship. You mentioned that you are having trouble sleeping and eating. Sleep and eating well is so important for mental health. Meditation, hypnosis, relaxation, or binaural beat apps can help you get more sleep; find one that works for you. Make sure you are not just getting enough food everyday, but that the foods you do eat are nutritious. Eat even if you don’t feel hungry; your brain needs fuel to function well. If you don’t take care of your body and mind, you will put yourself at risk of developing derealization again... how could you ever maintain a relationship with someone when you are in that state of mind? You can’t. I have seen people, who started dating in their teens, be successful in closing the distance and making it work. That isn’t outside of the realm of possibility for you if you are really determined. If you want a healthy relationship, you need to be physically and mentally healthy first.
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