Teens LDR makes me sad

[papertester]

ok, so I’m in a LDR, and we always snap every day, response times are less than a minute everything is great, we’re going to see each other very soon, but lately it’s been different, she’s been snapping me less and less, response times are slowing, and I haven’t been feeling right. Like for example, I will send a snap, takes her 10-15 minutes to respond, then she will snap back, and within 10 seconds, I will snap her back but then it’s the same thing over again, and sometimes, it will say lest seen two minutes ago but I sent a snap 15 minutes ago, and when I asked her about it she said “sorry, I open Snapchat just to look at myself, and close the app” if I know 15-year-old girls they don’t just do that. I don’t want to sound pushy or express my feelings cause she’ll think I’m weird or something and figure out this LDR is just too much for her and just want to be friends. Do you think I’m a be onto something or do you think I’m overreacting? Thanks!

[MsGrim]

Do you think I’m a be onto something or do you think I’m overreacting?!

Well... could be either or. You can't expect her to be glued to her phone 24/7/365 just to talk to you. In a relationship, you NEED that balance of spending time with your SO and having your own personal time. 15 mins is honestly a fast response time. Sometimes my SO and I will go HOURS without messaging back, its just how things are. Life can be busy.

On the other hand, you're both teenagers.. and from my own personal experience, relationships didn't last very long. I couldn't imagine being in a LDR at that age. You're both in that stage of life where you are figuring out who you are as an individual. You will both grow into entirely different people before its all said and done. And a lot of time, you grow out of people, relationships, & friendships.

Also, NEVER be scared to express your feelings to anyone. If you think this is something worth talking about, then have that conversation. I just noticed your age on here. Are you really 20?! Shouldn't you be dating someone your own age?

[OhioJim]

*1 on MsGrim

You are 20 and she is 15? She is still considered a child (here in the USA). If I was you I would not take things very seriously for at least another 3 years. Then she would be an adult.

The legal authorities here take a very dim view of older men "preying" on children on the internet. Not that you are preying on her, but because of your age difference you should extra cautious.

[SpacyMasie21]

So I dated a boy for 3 years. He was having issues with his mom so he moved to North Carolina with his dad. I live in Northwest.

He left for a visit and decided to move down there with his dad it's been two months and I've been crying non stop and have days where I feel okay for that day but it goes down hill the next day.

He doesn't know what to do naturally for a boy so far away. I love him more than he'll know because I'm not close to my parents and I have no close friends.

I think I need some support because in the first few weeks of him being gone I gave myself bruises. I started freaking out one night and hit myself repetitively.

I can't talk to my family because they're all considered "perfectly normal" with no serious problems. I just want to go away some times because my biggest fear is being alone. I feel alone even when I'm with people because I miss him so much... I don't know what to do. Advice? Only positive please!!

[OhioJim]

So I dated a boy for 3 years. He was having issues with his mom so he moved to North Carolina with his dad. I live in Northwest.

He left for a visit and decided to move down there with his dad it's been two months and I've been crying non stop and have days where I feel okay for that day but it goes down hill the next day.

He doesn't know what to do naturally for a boy so far away. I love him more than he'll know because I'm not close to my parents and I have no close friends.

I think I need some support because in the first few weeks of him being gone I gave myself bruises. I started freaking out one night and hit myself repetitively.

I can't talk to my family because they're all considered "perfectly normal" with no serious problems. I just want to go away some times because my biggest fear is being alone. I feel alone even when I'm with people because I miss him so much... I don't know what to do. Advice? Only positive please!!

If you are hitting yourself you should get some professional help. I don't know what the laws are in your state, but could you go talk to someone without your parents knowing?

[Rezie]

Well, I'm officially old. For a second I thought she was snapping (as in angry) instead of snapchat and was very confused.

In general I would say that people don't need to be available for 24/7 but it seems like she might be cutting contact. She is 15, you are 20. There is no need to put more effort into this ldr. Just ask her if she is still into meeting/relatiosnhip or just wants to talk. I also need you to really consider if you want to be in an ldr with a 15yo or look for someone your own age.

[Rezie]

So I dated a boy for 3 years. He was having issues with his mom so he moved to North Carolina with his dad. I live in Northwest.

He left for a visit and decided to move down there with his dad it's been two months and I've been crying non stop and have days where I feel okay for that day but it goes down hill the next day.

He doesn't know what to do naturally for a boy so far away. I love him more than he'll know because I'm not close to my parents and I have no close friends.

I think I need some support because in the first few weeks of him being gone I gave myself bruises. I started freaking out one night and hit myself repetitively.

I can't talk to my family because they're all considered "perfectly normal" with no serious problems. I just want to go away some times because my biggest fear is being alone. I feel alone even when I'm with people because I miss him so much... I don't know what to do. Advice? Only positive please!!

You need help. Is there anyone in upir school that can direct you to see someone? Your reaction is very extreme and worrying.
Normally I would suggest taking a step back from the relationship to vuild your own self esteem (not breaking up, just taking a step back) and try to make some friends even if it is scary. However, you are self harming so you really need to talk to someone.

[LisaS]

@SpacyMasie21 Hi there! I suggest that you google search your city and the words “crisis line” and see what comes up. In my city, there is a phone number you can call if you feel like you need help and it’s confidential and free and you talk to a trained counselor who can help you. I’m sure your loved ones would not want you to hurt yourself and you should also do it for yourself. Sending positive vibes your way!