Having "the talks" with your kids

[blankita719]

I have a son who will be 9 in less than a month now, and he is a complete a total momma's boy His father started dropping in and out of our lives by the time he was 3 and has sort of disappeared for good now for the last 3 years.

When we had him, we agreed Mommy would teach him certain skills and Daddy was responsible for manly skills. Obviously, this didn't work out as planned. I managed to potty train him on my own, and we've muddled on by since then. Earlier this evening, we were having a reminder conversation about wearing clean underwear and why it was important and my son is giggling like crazy over the whole thing. So I posted it on facebook and one of my friend commented to just have my SO have the conversations with him.

It seems like an easy thing to do. We've known each other for 15 years and we've been in this relationship for over 2, so it's not like he's a new person in my son's life who would be discussing this with him. But at the same time, I sort of feel it's my responsibility to have these bodily discussions with my son. Granted, once puberty hits I won't really have a clue on what to tell him, but I still feel like it should be me.

Anyone else ever been in a similar boat? Have you had your SO have that type of talk with your children, or would you consider letting them? DO you feel like you should do it no matter what?

[notyourexgirlfriend]

I have a daughter so it's probably a little bit different but if your SO has been around for quite some time and he is comfortable explaining these things to your son, I don't see the harm in letting him do it. As long as it is handled in a mature and sensible fashion things should work out OK.

[Moon]

I agree that it's ultimately your responsibility, but there's no harm in your SO helping where you may need it, if they're both comfortable with that. There are very good books to cover the parts you aren't sure about, both for you and him, might not be a bad idea to check them out now so you're prepared, those talks ALWAYS happen before you expect them!

[Tanja]

I think your son might even be more comfortable at some point talking to your SO cause he's a guy too and has been through the same things. You can explain things to him at first if you feel like it's your responsibility but also tell him that if he has any questions he can turn to your SO as well. I for example never would've gone for my dad to ask advice for periods and stuff. I think if your SO is willing to participate then that's great and you should let him. Nothing bonds them more than a serious man-to-man talk!

[lucybelle]

I think it's a great idea to let your SO do the talking.

And just putting it out there- my mom NEVER gave me "the talk". When I went to college she told me "let me know when you need to go on birth control" and handed me a box of condoms. Geeze mom

[Carenza LaRue]

Blankita,

I think it's a great idea to let your SO have the 'talk'...... in their own time.....
makes the male bond stronger in my opinion...

and..another good thing.... it will strengthen the bond between all of you.... in my opinion.
because you show your SO you trust him more than enough by asking him to help you with this

[garnet]

As a mom to a (toddler!) boy, my *I haven't lived it yet* opinion would be to have the talk yourself, but let your son know that if he has any questions he would be more comfortable talking about a guy with, that your SO is somewhere he can always turn.
Maybe your SO could even approach him after your talk and tell him that he's open to talk if your son wants to. I have no doubt it would be easier to let your SO do all the talking. But jmo, it feels like it should come from mom. The one that has always been, and always will be there for the good, bad, and ugly.