To Travel With or Without your Child??

[triste]

As my SO lived with us, my son (ten) considers himself very much a part of our relationship, and yes, to some extent, he is. However, we drove to Florida back in June, to take my SO to his new place, the three of us, he became very needy...the whole trip (In Florida, not on the road) he (my son) was constantly asking for things, and whining about what we wanted to do. I know some of this is age, some is lashing out for my SO having to leave us, but some of it is just plain irritating to both of us, leaving us both wanting some alone time!

Any way you look at it, I want to have alone time with my SO...which was hard to have with the three of us there. Travel plans are difficult as my SO doesn't know his schedule till last minute, then, for me to arrange childcare while i am gone, is also touchy. Plus, the neglect my son feels (I am a single mother) and the longing of him wanting to go too.

Right now, I was going to see my SO mid-Sept. but he just let me know today that they changed his only weekend off to this weekend and there will not be another weekend off for two months I would have jumped on a plane, but could not with my obligations and short notice). We are both upset about not getting to see each other, I still want to go see him, but if I go now, just to see him for 3-4 hours at night while he works 16 hour days...well, he feels that it is not enough for him...and how many times can I leave my son??

My plan is to spend two weeks for Christmas there, taking my son...so he knows this is coming, but still, how often can I leave him?? I don't even care about the money, I really miss my SO and want to just have him in my arms a bit.

Does anyone have similar issues? Either with a child or trying to visit someone working 7 days a week??

[blankita719]

Yes, my SO is a workaholic who works 6 days a week, and that doesn't change just because I visit. I try to look at it as just practice for the day we really do close the distance. He won't be taking off any special time then, it will just be seeing him in the evenings and mornings before he goes off to work.

I'm also a single mom and my son will be 9 next week. There are tons of times I can't make a trip because I can't afford to leave, or I can't afford to take us both. He & my SO have a great relationship and he always wants to go with me when I visit. I have gone twice without him. Once for a long weekend for our 1 year anniversary, and our first Christmas I went for a week by myself. The only reason I went that long was because my mom made a plan to take my son and my niece on a special Christmas trip, so I didn't feel too guilty because he was going off and doing something as well. The SO will be here in 2 and a half weeks and we are taking a few days off to spend alone then too. The thing is, you have to take time for the two of you alone. Your son may not like it, but it's absolutely necessary. You can do it every once in a while. Don't feel too guilty about that. Plus you already have plans for all of you to be together in a few months at Christmas time. That's how I work it with my son. I say yes, Mommy is going to hang with SO for a few days BUT you also get to spend XYZ amount of time with him as well.

[spirit]

Yes. My SO is also a workaholic, we both have one child, his is older. I have issues with my sons father - and taking my son really isn't an option right now. But leaving him? My son is too young for that right now. MY SO could leave his son, but his work schedule really isn't mixing with flying out here even once, for months, and months. I'm quite down about the whole thing right now.

[triste]

Yes. My SO is also a workaholic, we both have one child, his is older. I have issues with my sons father - and taking my son really isn't an option right now. But leaving him? My son is too young for that right now. MY SO could leave his son, but his work schedule really isn't mixing with flying out here even once, for months, and months. I'm quite down about the whole thing right now.

That sounds really tough, sorry that your son's father isn't helping matters. Good luck to you!

[Verojoon]

My daughters' father won't let me take them out of the country with me. He has become convinced that I will take them away and never come back or find some other way of screwing him over even though I have done nothing but be extremely accommodating with him on every level. EVERY LEVEL....

So the three times I have gone to Texas to be with my SO have been the 3 fulls weeks that the girls have spent with their father in the last 2 years...

When I go visit, I appreciate the freedom that comes from not having young children with you, but we do so many things and experience so many things that I know my daughters would love. How I wish I could take them once! I am hoping if we manage to close the distance my ex-husband won't feel as threatened that I might move to Texas and will let me take them there if we were to go back to visit his family...

It adds a whole new dimension of complicated, doesn't it?

[triste]

My daughters' father won't let me take them out of the country with me. He has become convinced that I will take them away and never come back or find some other way of screwing him over even though I have done nothing but be extremely accommodating with him on every level. EVERY LEVEL....

So the three times I have gone to Texas to be with my SO have been the 3 fulls weeks that the girls have spent with their father in the last 2 years...

When I go visit, I appreciate the freedom that comes from not having young children with you, but we do so many things and experience so many things that I know my daughters would love. How I wish I could take them once! I am hoping if we manage to close the distance my ex-husband won't feel as threatened that I might move to Texas and will let me take them there if we were to go back to visit his family...

It adds a whole new dimension of complicated, doesn't it?

That sounds very tough. Sorry you have to go through that. I wish your ex could see how great it would be for the kids...maybe as the girls get older they might start asking him on their own