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    New here... suggestions?

    Hi, I'm new here and need some suggestions. My SO and I have been an item since mid-March 2012 and have seen each other 3 times since then. I plan to fly out to IN to see her in early Oct. She has 2 kids (5 and 2) and so do I (7 and 5). She's met mine and I've met hers, our kids just haven't met each other yet. BTW, her kids love me and my kids REALLY get along with her well, so that's not a problem. We met WAY back in 1997 when we attended college together in TX. After parting ways, we re-connected almost 12 years later after our failed marriages. At first, I didn't want to do anything long distance, having done it before, so we kept in touch casually for 8 months. Then when she was able to come out here and visit in March, I continued keeping in touch.

    When she came here in March, we realized that we liked each other and thus began our relationship. We are both dedicated Christians and have deep rooted faith in Christ. He is the center of our relationship and we feel that He is blessing us and has His hand on our relationship. My SO has decided that she will be moving here to CO within the next 9 months, she just has to tie a few loose ends before that happens.

    We communicate ALL the time. We text, FB message, cellphone, skype and even write letters. Not a day goes by that we don't keep in touch at least 9-10 different times. We are deeply in love and committed to something working out.

    I know she's working hard on selling her house and a few other things, it just gets lonely here without her. I miss her SO much when we're apart. I know that we'll be together but these times without her drive me mad sometimes. We've made a pledge to stay committed to each other and not date around. I'm never tempted to date other women but this time of waiting is really rough.

    Everyone has heard that phrase, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," or "Always toward absent lovers love's tide stronger flows." It is SO true that we long for each other more when we're apart and that strengthens the bond of our relationship. I am just SO ready for this gap between us to close. We're just at the point where we've said everything we need to say and done almost everything that needs to be done while living this far apart. Sure, we find certain things to keep us entertained and interested but I'd like to know if there is anything else out there we can do to keep our relationship alive while we're apart. Any ideas?

    #2
    First of all, welcome to the forums

    Have you checked out the list of activities on the main page for the LFAD site? There are tons of ideas in there. One of my favorite things to do with my SO when we get bored is to go through a list of questions, like those in the Book of Questions and ask them. My SO and I initially met in 1996, so we know tons about each other but he will still surprise me on occasion with an answer. I like to guess what he'll say before he answers too - just to show him how well I know him

    And this may seem like odd advice, but sometimes, it's ok to take a break and not communicate as much. That way you have more to look forward to sharing with her, and can help keep some excitement in the relationship. That way you don't get stuck in the rut of talking about the same things over and over.

    Best of luck to you, and hope we see you posting more It's always nice to see new faces, especially those with kids and over 30

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      #3
      Originally posted by blankita719 View Post
      First of all, welcome to the forums

      And this may seem like odd advice, but sometimes, it's ok to take a break and not communicate as much. That way you have more to look forward to sharing with her, and can help keep some excitement in the relationship. That way you don't get stuck in the rut of talking about the same things over and over.

      Best of luck to you, and hope we see you posting more It's always nice to see new faces, especially those with kids and over 30
      Welcome! I have to second Blankita above, my SO and I talk daily and today was a great example of a good day not to talk...we just had nothing new to say and were a little stressed...doesn't mean we don't want to talk, but we really should have hung up long before we did!

      I have found so many great things on this site...the way I found the site was by the list of advice they have.

      Another note, it is so easy to jump to conclusions, or misunderstand a text or email...remember, deep breaths (I tell myself the same) and try not to read into things too much, sometimes we say things so quick that are easily explained in person, but much harder LD.

      Enjoy and good luck.

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