Christmas vacation

[blankita719]

The past few years, I have gone up north to spend the week between Christmas and New Year's with my SO. The first year, I went by myself because Grandma planned a trip for the grandkids to go somewhere with her. Last year, we flew up together and he had a wonderful time. My son loves my SO and loves going up to visit. Especially since my SO's future sister-in-law's son, who is a year younger is there all the time and he has a friend to play with.

This year, I am looking at the budget and it does not look pretty. I've asked my son if he wants to go up north this year and he said yes. He still believes in Santa, so I told him if he wanted to go then Santa would be helping me with the ticket and he might have a few less things under the tree. I am pricing out flights that are looking like $300-$350 per person to fly up there. Yikes. That's $700 for us both to go, and well, I'm a 100% single mom and my ex does not pay me ANY child support. That ticket price for him is over what I normally spend on him for Christmas presents at all. So if I take him, he's really not going to get anything from "Santa". I know that grandma will buy him things and so will his aunt and uncle, but then Santa won't be visiting the house.

So here is the dilemma - do I go ahead and take him up with me and just hope he understands that the experience of traveling and the cold weather, and maybe some snow will make up for the lack of presents? Or do I work on him to maybe skip going and staying with family here? He loves staying with his aunt and uncle, so he wouldn't really think of it as being left behind, he would look at it as a vacation from mom.

The SO and I talked about even postponing a trip and trying to plan something for spring, but I look forward to this trip and spending the time with him over the holidays so much that it doesn't seem like a great option to me.

I know, I know - only I can really make the decision, but I'd love to hear some opinions on it

[D.4C]

she will be moving here...closing the distance...in early 2013...and she is coming to visit in 3 days from now...for a week...but we will miss all the holidays inbetween now and when she moves here...which is kinda sad since they will be our first holidays as a couple...but...it's worth it for her to get things all tied up in washington...before coming back home...yes....i said back home...hehe

[mllebamako]

I would definitely go ahead and do the visit with your son and just keep explaining to him that Santa gave you guys plane tickets instead of lots of big presents. I've always been a fan of experiences over things. Like I'd rather get plane tickets or theater tickets or a dinner out than jewelry or some other tangible thing. If it's important to you and you know that he loves visiting your SO, then you can start showing him how experiences and memories are the best gifts of all. Maybe give him a disposable camera and help him make a scrapbook when he gets home so he can remember the trip.

[Verojoon]

Could you talk to the family to get them to help with Santa? Just a few small things? Good luck! these things are difficult. I don't have that dilemma because my kids don't have passports, but even if they did, at $400 a ticket, I couldn't fly us all in my current financial situation!

[Moon]

I don't think anyone young enough to still believe in Santa could really understand him totally skipping the presents for travel. Maybe try to work out that there is something for him under the tree, even if it's only a few, small things to play with. I've heard Walmart has started their Christmas layaway already, if you have one local. Maybe that could help a little? Also, did you search your airfare using the +3/-3 option? Sometimes changing your inbound and outbound dates can save you significant money. I'm sorry, blankita, holiday travel is ridiculously expensive

[blankita719]

Moon - unfortunately I don't have a lot of leeway on travel dates - while I have lots of vacation time at work, I'm limited to when I can take it around the holidays because we have to make sure all the job functions have coverage and most people take off leading up to Christmas

I did walk around Walmart today with my son to get a few ideas to maybe put a few on layaway. I usually do pretty well on Black Friday shopping but without seeing the ads yet, I can't plan it. I think this is the last year he is going to believe though. He told me a few of his friends said Santa was fake but he didn't believe them. I'm keeping an eye out for airfare deals, and hoping that something falls into place. I've really been trying to stress that memories and experiences are more important than physical possessions but it's just not a good feeling when you don't think you can do for your kid. My mom always made sure we had a good Christmas, even when she was struggling so it's hard for me to feel like I can't do the same.

[triste]

Moon - unfortunately I don't have a lot of leeway on travel dates - while I have lots of vacation time at work, I'm limited to when I can take it around the holidays because we have to make sure all the job functions have coverage and most people take off leading up to Christmas

I did walk around Walmart today with my son to get a few ideas to maybe put a few on layaway. I usually do pretty well on Black Friday shopping but without seeing the ads yet, I can't plan it. I think this is the last year he is going to believe though. He told me a few of his friends said Santa was fake but he didn't believe them. I'm keeping an eye out for airfare deals, and hoping that something falls into place. I've really been trying to stress that memories and experiences are more important than physical possessions but it's just not a good feeling when you don't think you can do for your kid. My mom always made sure we had a good Christmas, even when she was struggling so it's hard for me to feel like I can't do the same.

I really feel for you, and have been there many times through the years as I am also 100% single mom. Our boys are about the same age...though mine is a little older and he still believes in Santa (I bet our last year too)...I think you should go and I think if you get the big expense out of the way now, it may not be as bad as you get closer. Even said, I know someone said kids don't understand, but my son does, he knows times are hard and he also knows he won't be getting much because Santa is helping for our trip too (fingers crossed I am healthy enough).
You know, through the years I have found that sometimes I just have to let go of some of the worry. It is very important to live within our means, and I think you are doing the right thing by really thinking this through and creating a budget now. But that said, you have time before Christmas. If you can set aside $5 or $10 per check...before the Holidays, buy him one bigger item and some small things...half price books has a lot, and Ross often has good finds...and really, Amazon has some crazy deals on things that say used, but really aren't (my SO is the king of this, so let me know if you want more advice on this one!).
You know how you said your Mom always made sure you had a good Christmas? What was it that made it good? 100 gifts? I bet it wasn't all about the gifts. Don't say you can't do the same, the memory of the trip will make it a great Christmas.
I know you said no to Moon's suggestion of -3/+3...but still worth a peak before you buy (it's cheaper to fly on Christmas day also, but if you select 3 days before you really want to go, then put the -3/+3, sometimes it works in your favor. Also, CheapoAir has good deals from Florida...give them a try. Patience is important with those deals...so look around.

Good luck, I hope you can make the trip, it would be good for all of you

PS-Santa just has to come!!