Divorce, Distance and Dearest

[Milky Ways Girl]

This is certainly an awkward situation to deal with because I haven't met my guy in person yet, but I'm trying to prepare myself with information. I really like him and we will be meeting in the next couple weeks, he is about 20 years younger than me, 200 miles away appx, and I have 2 sons, he has 1 son. I am divorced now and so far my ex has been a pain almost about every single thing since the divorce even before my ldr guy. It's all custody issues whenever he gives me problems, I left him for emotional abuse that he still does. However I don't want to tear the boys from each other for any length of time, nor from me or my ex. There are so many possible bad situations but I want a happy ending for me, I think that this guy will be perfect for me...it's the strongest feeling I've had with someone I wanted to be with. We will see after our first meeting whether it's only online love or not, but I'm happy now and hope to keep feeling this way. =^.^=

[SonyaKitty]

I hope everything works out well, my guy is going though divorce at the moment, first possible court date being in September. Good luck with your new guy

[Jmoc1024]

Divorce is always hard even the aftermath has its effects. I am sorry you are going through this but I am happy you got out of that abusive marriage. NO one man or woman needs to put through that...that is not what you signed up for when you said for better or worst. Whatever happens always keep a positive mind and do what is best for you and your boys. I had an ex that was emotionally abusive and I kicked him to the curb quick. You have been through enough pain and suffering. now it is time for healing and enjoyment and true love. we are all here to support you and cheer you on in this new path in life that you are taking..And good for you that you found a guy that treats you good. I hope this is first of many meetings with your SO!!

[Layla312]

Until reading this post I was feeling a bit guilty. My divorce isn't finalized and emotional and verbal abuse is my exact reason for leaving. I stopped loving him years ago but didn't know how to leave and stayed for the children.

So shortly after agreeing to divorce, I met my online guy as a business partner (we do internet marketing) which of course the not soon enough ex found out about and flipped.

But this guy and I just had such an intense connection we just started having feelings for each other. So we brought it to video to see how that went and the connection grew stronger and stronger. Now a couple months in, we are planning to meet in person to see how real this connection actually is.

So I get nervous a lot too because I know if this guy and I have a real connection and decide to continue with a serious attempt at an LDR, my psychotic ex will always give me problems.

It will be hard enough since we live on opposite ends of the country and both have very young children that we could never leave. Now add to that my psycho ex and I'm afraid I'm staring at an impossible situation here.

But I love a challenge so one day at a time, I suppose! LOL! Good luck to you. Keep us posted. I know where you are coming from as a previously abused wife. At least we found the strength to get out!

[Moon]

Welcome to LFAD There are several of us around who have been through divorces, my ex was verbally abusive, and an all around jackass, so you've found good company! Good luck with your first meeting, hope you don't have to wait too long.

[leonsfangirl]

I have a pain in the butt ex husband too, he loves to try and cock up all my plans.
Like Moon said there are several us around here that have been through it and we're a lovely supportive bunch

[Layla312]

Supportive is very good for me right now!!! I'm so glad I joined this forum. I felt so bizarre and like maybe I was just desperate for love before after such a horrible relationship. Of the few people I've told the situation to, only one didn't look at me like I had three heads and that was my best friend who has NEVER EVER judged me in anyway. So I am extremely pleased to have others in the same situation! I'm wondering what ever happened with Milky Way Girl because I didn't notice last night the post was from April. Hope all is going well!

[Verojoon]

My ex was so subtly controlling that I didn't realize it in the decade we were together, it wasn't until our relationship completely deteriorated and I ended up leaving him that the verbal and hardcore emotional abuse started... I have been there. Kids make closing the distance so much more difficult, don't they? But when we meet someone who is worth it, it makes a world of difference.

My ex-husband had been disturbingly cooperative lately, and it kinda worries me...

[TinainCanada]

My LDR relationship is moving into marriage.... July 19th... We are both divorced... His has JUST finalized and is in Thunder Bay having the government's approval prior to a marriage license being obtained.... We both have children, his are daughter 23, son 16, mine are daughter 23, daughter 20, son 18.... My question is more about the finances of the relationship.... I've done the majority of the funding.... and I'm feeling a bit unequal... knowing full well things are worse off in the UK than for us in Canada... BUT I've gone into major debt.... and he's debt - free.... says he's been working his ass off to come and be with me... but I throw it back that he's working his ass off to get here with his children... Don't know if it's just nerves going into a marriage... or I should back out before it's too late....?