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    #1

    Parental Resonsibilty

    This maybe long so bare with me!

    I'm thinking of applying to the court to grant my SO Parental Responsibilty over my 2 children (once he's here and settled)
    It would give my SO legal power to authorise medical treatment and sign off on school trips and what not. It wouldn't take that responsibilty away from there biological father so legally the children would have 3 parents. Im thinking of doing this because if something happens to me, he would still have rights to them. He loves them like his own children (and they love him, call him Canadad and DadDad ) and i know my ex (bio dad) wouldnt let him see the children in those circumstances (he hates my SO, blames him for our break up). Also, my ex is moving away soon and i think it's only a matter of time before he disappears for good, and if that happens and something happens to me unless i have a legal document stating what i want to happen to the children, they could end up in the care of the local authority.
    In order to do this, my ex would have to agree (Given how he feels about my SO he'll refuse) or we'd have to go through court to obtain it (lengthy process and will cause drama between us and the ex)

    I feel it would be in the best interest of the children to proceed with this but i just wanted to get some advice from my fellow members with children.
    As long as there is air in my lungs... there is a chance
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    #2
    It's a tricky one, but then all decisions involving children are. It sounds like it would be in the best interests of the children, how old are they? Are they old enough to voice an opinion on it? Ideally your ex would agree to it, especially as he's moving away anyway and I'd hope he'd have the maturity to put aside any personal feelings he has towards your so and act in the best interests of his children.

    I have to say, it's something I'd consider in the future for my daughter as it petrifies me that if something happens to me my ex has sole custody of her as he's too screwed up.

    Comment

      #3
      I think it is a smart idea but it sounds like it might be hard to achieve with your ex. How does that work in court if he refuses to grant your SO those rights? Will you have to prove he's an unfit father or something?

      We are currently working on the paperwork to do a similar thing, give me guardianship over my step-daughter. It is hugely important to me because she has been my daughter for the past 3 years (her bio mom hasn't seen her in almost 4 years) and if anything were to happen to my SO, I would have no legal rights over her. This is a huge worry of mine and I can't wait until I have some official paperwork granting me certain rights.

      Comment

        #4
        My ex is still very bitter and doesnt miss the chance to cause a problem for my SO. I know he won't consent to it, that's why i looked up if we could go ahead with it without his permission. He'd have to prove it wouldn't be in the kids best interest to stop it going through, as we are married already and will be living together and the children have a close bond with my SO i dont think he'd be able to do persuade the court NOT to grant my SO parental responsibilty. Legally, it removes nothing from my ex, it would just grant my SO the same rights as there father. His involement with the children wouldnt affect how the court make the decision.
        The children are 10 and 7, I feel it would be something they would want as they love my SO and call him Dad anyway.
        My fear would be if something happened to me and the children went to live with my ex, he would not allow my SO to see them or have any contact and i think that would be terrible for the children as they would feel like they lost us both. With this document, my ex could try and stop contact but my SO could fight him for it in court and be taken seriously.
        Sounds horrible that im thinking in really morbid terms but i like to have all things covered when it comes to the children.
        As long as there is air in my lungs... there is a chance

        Comment

          #5
          For me it's easy to say Yes go and do it, but then again my situation is completely different (her dad lives in a different country and isn't on the birth certificate, but is in her life). I'd say wait until you two are settled in and go from there just because you don't know what's going to happen once you live together for good (it may seem horrible, but it's better to be safe then sorry just in case and god forbid you two realized you don't want to be married anymore, that way if something like that did happen you wouldn't have to go back and undo it) I say wait like 6 months of living together and then file with the courts.




          Treasuretrooper <-- how I helped pay for some of my LDR expenses when I was in one.

          Comment

            #6
            We'll be waiting to file anyway, My SO has to be living with and supporting the children financially before they'll accept it without consent. Plus the reasons you stated, i want to make sure we're all good living together as a family before i make the last bit of paperwork in.
            As long as there is air in my lungs... there is a chance

            Comment

              #7
              I say go for it. It's a great idea and you are only looking out for the well being of your children. Even if it takes time in court in the long run it will be worth it. I also am going through my own court battle. I am trying to get the courts to let me relocate my daughter so we can be together with my SO. Her dad is pissed but I know it will be a better situation all around. In the end that's what is important. If the end product is worth it then the battle will not be so hard. Chin-up and do it!!

              Comment

                #8
                I keep hearing this term of "relocating" the child, like they are chattel. As hard as it is to hear the truth is if there is no abuse or abandonment, then you are taking a child away from a parent. And if you feel that the child would be "much better off", what happens if the other parent feels the same? If you were not in an LDR and moving away then would you still feel that the child would be better off without their other parent as well? If you can't answer yes to that question, then you are using your LDR to violate the other parents right. Again, if there is no abuse, it really is unfair to think that you know better than the other parent. I hate to say this but I feel really sorry for these other parents that are having their children relocated away from them. In USA fathers rights are never as honored as the mother's and I say this as a mother, that is just plain wrong.

                If however the bio parent has abandoned the child, I see nothing wrong with having a new partner request parental rights for the child. As long as the other parent is in the picture and still wants to retain their legal rights then , without abuse, that's is just unfair to both the child and the other parent.
                "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
                Benjamin Franklin

                Comment

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Hollandia View Post
                  I keep hearing this term of "relocating" the child, like they are chattel. As hard as it is to hear the truth is if there is no abuse or abandonment, then you are taking a child away from a parent. And if you feel that the child would be "much better off", what happens if the other parent feels the same? If you were not in an LDR and moving away then would you still feel that the child would be better off without their other parent as well? If you can't answer yes to that question, then you are using your LDR to violate the other parents right. Again, if there is no abuse, it really is unfair to think that you know better than the other parent. I hate to say this but I feel really sorry for these other parents that are having their children relocated away from them. In USA fathers rights are never as honored as the mother's and I say this as a mother, that is just plain wrong.

                  If however the bio parent has abandoned the child, I see nothing wrong with having a new partner request parental rights for the child. As long as the other parent is in the picture and still wants to retain their legal rights then , without abuse, that's is just unfair to both the child and the other parent.
                  The OP said the father is moving away, not her relocating the children. So the bio father is choosing to remove himself further.

                  Also, the OP states that the court action she's applying for doesn't remove the bio father's rights, it will just give parental rights to her new husband. All three of them will have legal rights and legal custody.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Originally posted by silvermoonfairy3 View Post
                    The OP said the father is moving away, not her relocating the children. So the bio father is choosing to remove himself further.

                    Also, the OP states that the court action she's applying for doesn't remove the bio father's rights, it will just give parental rights to her new husband. All three of them will have legal rights and legal custody.

                    You are correct in this OP's case I take no issue with it. If however the parent is having a child relocated away from them and they don't want it, it is wrong.
                    Last edited by Hollandia; July 12, 2014, 12:51 PM.
                    "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
                    Benjamin Franklin

                    Comment

                      #11
                      I'd forgotten id even started this thread.
                      Just for closure, kids biological dad didn't move (his LDR went south pretty quick) and the paperwork hasn't been filed yet but I will be doing it before the year is over.
                      As long as there is air in my lungs... there is a chance

                      Comment

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