Moving to another country with a child who isn't your SOs

[Kitten_mittens]

Has anyone here had experience moving to another country (or even state) with a child from a previous relationship? I was wondering how hard it was to get the custody arrangement set up.. As far as I know my sons father will let me as long as my son comes back to the US for half the summer and for Thanksgiving or Christmas each year. I hope he will keep his word about letting me.. I will have a bachelors degree and will only move if I have a decent job waiting for me. So I have that going for me. Just hoping I don't have to wait 18 years to move out of the country.

[mllebamako]

Well, if the UK is like the US and the father is being supportive, than it shouldn't be too hard. To bring a child into the US (long-term), you need the other parent's written permission. If they won't give that permission then you need a custody agreement showing that you have full custody. It's something that they verify when applying for a visa for the child.
So if I were you, I'd look into the visa rules for the UK and see what they require for bringing over a child.

Edited to add: I didn't want to give you bad info so I did a bit of research on it. It looks like you'll need to have a custody agreement showing that you have full responsibility of the child or can show that the child normally lives with you and not the other parent. See here.

Here is a thread where a woman tried to apply for the settlement visa with only a letter from the child's father and that didn't work out for her.

So looks like you'll need to get a custody agreement set up through the courts.

[BabyGund]

I'm currently having this conversation with my ex-husband. He's not crazy about it. I'd rather negotiate it directly with him, and file the new custody agreement with the court as opposed to going to court and having a judge make the decision, so we are trying to stay amicable. I'm not crossing a whole country and ocean though. Just a northern border.

I know to take her with me to visit my SO, I must have a notarized letter from him for each and every visit.

I agree with mllebamako, and check into the specific visa requirements.

[Kitten_mittens]

Thanks you two =] Very helpful information. I will look into the visa laws and maybe contact a lawyer for info as well. :]

[piratemama]

I hope you get this worked out soon. Contacting a lawyer for advice would be best. Fortunately, in my situation, I addressed the issue in my divorce, because I knew I might move out of state. He signed an agreement allowing me to move our daughter, as long as he knew where she would be and they could stay in touch. This became an actual part of the divorce agreement. Good luck.

[BabyGund]

I hope you get this worked out soon. Contacting a lawyer for advice would be best. Fortunately, in my situation, I addressed the issue in my divorce, because I knew I might move out of state. He signed an agreement allowing me to move our daughter, as long as he knew where she would be and they could stay in touch. This became an actual part of the divorce agreement. Good luck.

Piratemama, moving anywhere within the states wouldn't be a issue -- because of the nature of sports, he knows I can up and relocate anywhere there's a team at the drop of a hat and he could easily relocate to be near our daughter. Relocating to another country is the trick, because he can't just up and immigrate to be near her.

[piratemama]

Piratemama, moving anywhere within the states wouldn't be a issue -- because of the nature of sports, he knows I can up and relocate anywhere there's a team at the drop of a hat and he could easily relocate to be near our daughter. Relocating to another country is the trick, because he can't just up and immigrate to be near her.

Yes, actually moving to another state is an issue. My ex worked with Family Services at Social Services, and he had friends that knew. One of his coworkers had divorced and had prevented his wife from moving to another state to be near her family. It seems the courts don't like one parent moving a child away from another. Mine was worked out in my divorce agreement, but I had heard horror stories. You can't make visitation difficult without the parent's approval. It makes sense. Of course, it's different if you have full custody.

And all parents don't want to relocate.

[Kitten_mittens]

Yes, actually moving to another state is an issue. My ex worked with Family Services at Social Services, and he had friends that knew. One of his coworkers had divorced and had prevented his wife from moving to another state to be near her family. It seems the courts don't like one parent moving a child away from another. Mine was worked out in my divorce agreement, but I had heard horror stories. You can't make visitation difficult without the parent's approval. It makes sense. Of course, it's different if you have full custody.

And all parents don't want to relocate.

This is true. I have read that it can be hard to move out of state. I think on my moms divorce agreement it said if she moved out of the state she would lose custody.. Luckily the father seems okay with me moving as he knows it's my dream to travel the world and live in other countries. I need to get that on legal papers before he changes his mind.

[BabyGund]

I wasn't saying in general it's not an issue, I was saying in my case, it is not an issue - because my ex would relocate to be close to our daughter. I'm sorry if I did not clarify. I was speaking about our divorce, no one else's.