Feeling discouraged today. Met my love during a vacation. He's in Canada, I'm in the US. We're both divorced. I have an 11 year old girl and he has 11 and 13 year old girls. I have joint custody with my ex and a very good working co-parenting relationship. He has his girls every other weekend and once during each week. I am bound by my divorce agreement to the area I love in now. He cannot leave his children. We may have to wait until the kids are older until we can close the gap. I'm feeling like this is a real catch 22 and could use some encouragement from other couples in similar situations. Also we're both in out 40's.
-
-
Our situation is the same. We make the most of it. He has a twelve year old son I have two daughters 6 and 10.
Added that he could never move here because of not speaking the language and so he couldn't find a job. It is what it is and try not to think about it too much that we are looking at +10 years of distance. At least things are really good between us and when we get to see each other we have an amazing time together. He is a little older than me. -
How long have you been at it?Comment
-
Two years in the end of October
Well actually you could say we have been at it 2 years and 3 months, counting from when we met online and started chatting and didn't take long for us to get close and speak everyday and to realise we had feelings for each other. But end of October was when we met in real life for the first time.
How about you and your guy?Comment
-
I don't have minor children anymore, but I am in a 5+ year, international LDR Over the years, I've posted my reasons for not being able to close the distance about 5000 times, but one reason is not wanting to be 4200 miles from my daughter. I'm in a sort of semi-permanent LDR, at least for the foreseeable future.
For us, having each other, even at that distance, is infinitely better than not having each other, so while it can be hard, we make due. Some of being able to do that is a change in perspective, so many people say LDR's don't work and you HAVE to go CD as soon as possible, but that's not always the case. Instead of constantly pining away at the day you can be CD, pine away for your next visit. You have to be really strong, and not listen to what other people say, remember it's your relationship, they aren't in it.
You also have to be a pretty independent person. If you aren't OK with not having your partner around everyday, you won't make it. The toll it'll take on you won't be worth it. If you can decide this is what you want, and you do well with alone time, you can. Maybe not always easily, but you can.
You don't say how long you've been together, so it might be too early to decide if he's really someone who's truly worth the aggravation, and someone you know for sure you can be with for the long run, but an LDR is a good way to figure that out! We talk more than CD couples, we have to, it's all we've got. Try not to be too discouraged, your relationship may not be conventional, but if you're right for each other, and you can change your perspective about distance, you can make it work quite well. Good luck.Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert EinsteinComment
-
All of this!Originally posted by Moon View Post
I've noticed I've become a stronger person because of the LD in our relationship. I usually pine away only a couple days after visits. If some one had told me I'd be in a relationship like this and feeling okay about it (well I've learnt to deal with it because I have no choise, I don't want anyone else) some years ago I don't think I would have believed them.
I would really love to be able to live under the same roof and mostly feel sad about not been able to do the every day little things together.
But he is only a text message or phone call away and he is mine
Comment
Comment