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    #1

    Moving but not closing the distance

    I am a single mother of 2 (age 13 and 8), and have no consistent support system currently. My mother, who does the best she can to help me, has decided to move to Florida this summer. She is looking to buy a house so that I can move in with my kids.

    I had my heart and mind set to move from New York to Indiana to be with my SO at some point when we were both ready. Now it looks like I am going to be moving to Florida. I am not happy about this, but I know that I can not make it by myself in New York. The only person I would have here is my ex, who is unreliable at best.

    I talked to my SO about this and he really is fine with my making the move to Florida for the sake of the kids. He does feel that when the time is right that we'll be together and that being with my mom is what is best for the kids and myself.
    He is not saying that he doesn't want us to be together, just that it will happen when the time is right.

    I just feel very upset, and it might not be logical I admit, I just really had my heart set on leaving New York to be with my SO.

    All told the move to Florida would be better for the kids and for me. My SO and I do need more time before we are ready to commit to all that comes with the move to close the distance. We have only been together a little over a year, and he is being very understanding about everything.

    Also my 13 year old is all for the move to Florida, He even said that it will be selfish of his dad to prevent it because it would be the best thing for all of us. I haven't talked to my 8 year old about it yet, I won't until its 100%, right now its about 80% sure. Only because my mother hasn't found a house as of yet.
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    #2
    Well, I hope it works out for you. My brother lives in Bayside and his tiny apartment is $1900/mo. It's too expensive up here. Be patient, you and your SO will be together soon enough. And, at least he is so understanding.

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      #3
      Agreed. My SO actually went to Florida to live with his sister for 6 months.. He wanted to pay off everything and save up for a house.. He was paying 1800 for a 1.5 bedroom apt in NoVa.
      I saw how happy he was there, we had a communication issue and I kinda told him to buy a house there.. So.....
      He comes up to visit and stays 3 weeks, and we now call his house our vacation home.. He lives near Anna Marie Island so I looove it. My son and I are going down for spring break this month for a week too!

      Like whatruckus said, be happy he is so supportive. Will he come down and visit?

      Comment

        #4
        Originally posted by whatruckus View Post
        Well, I hope it works out for you. My brother lives in Bayside and his tiny apartment is $1900/mo. It's too expensive up here. Be patient, you and your SO will be together soon enough. And, at least he is so understanding.
        Thank you.
        It was just not what I expected. I have grown to realize that no matter how much you plan life takes its own course.

        I am paying an astronomical rent myself ($2,000) which is about 76% of my take home pay. I know that I can't stay in this city much longer and the opportunity that my mother is offering me is to good to pass up.

        My SO is really understanding and I am lucky to have him.

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          #5
          Originally posted by sasad View Post
          Agreed. My SO actually went to Florida to live with his sister for 6 months.. He wanted to pay off everything and save up for a house.. He was paying 1800 for a 1.5 bedroom apt in NoVa.
          I saw how happy he was there, we had a communication issue and I kinda told him to buy a house there.. So.....
          He comes up to visit and stays 3 weeks, and we now call his house our vacation home.. He lives near Anna Marie Island so I looove it. My son and I are going down for spring break this month for a week too!

          Like whatruckus said, be happy he is so supportive. Will he come down and visit?
          I'm not sure if my SO will visit. He really doesn't like to travel. He's afraid to fly, he freaks out when he drives me to the airport and planes fly overhead. Plus he has a large dog that is like his child, he refuses to spend a night away from her.
          He did however mention that he would be more likely to visit me in FL then in NY. Time will tell.

          Comment

            #6
            Why is it more likely that he will visit you in Florida? At least on the map it looks even further away. Is it easier to travel there without flying?
            I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
            - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



            "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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              #7
              Originally posted by differentcountries View Post
              Why is it more likely that he will visit you in Florida? At least on the map it looks even further away. Is it easier to travel there without flying?
              Florida is definitely farther away from any point in Indiana than New York is. However, not knowing anything about the couple, my assumption is that he is more willing to visit Florida because she could be closer to beaches/amusement parks/more beaches. Most of Indiana is flat, and the only "beaches" are up north on Lake Michigan, which are only really good to visit as a "lay on the sand for a few hours because it's so warm out" for about 6 weeks of the year. Florida, however, is pretty much beach weather 52 weeks of the year, unless there's a hurricane. But, that's just my guess.


              2016 Goal: Buy a house.
              Progress: Complete!

              2017 Goal: Pay off credit card debt
              Progress: Working on it.

              Comment

                #8
                Originally posted by lyonsgirl View Post
                Florida is definitely farther away from any point in Indiana than New York is. However, not knowing anything about the couple, my assumption is that he is more willing to visit Florida because she could be closer to beaches/amusement parks/more beaches. Most of Indiana is flat, and the only "beaches" are up north on Lake Michigan, which are only really good to visit as a "lay on the sand for a few hours because it's so warm out" for about 6 weeks of the year. Florida, however, is pretty much beach weather 52 weeks of the year, unless there's a hurricane. But, that's just my guess.
                He has visited New York once before and found that the pace is to hectic for him. Also he doesn't like the confined feeling of apartments.
                He's really more of an outdoor type of person.
                New York just isn't a good fit for him.

                He said the only time he wasn't on edge was when he went to Central Park.

                Comment

                  #9
                  I agree.. Being from the country... NYC stresses me out. Away too many people... And noise etc... Florida, in areas, is much more relaxing. I do like upstate NY though.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Originally posted by sasad View Post
                    I agree.. Being from the country... NYC stresses me out. Away too many people... And noise etc... Florida, in areas, is much more relaxing. I do like upstate NY though.
                    I can agree with this. It's hard when you grow up in a rural area to deal with big cities. Boston is big enough for me. NYC and even Indianapolis are too much overload. But my friend who grew up in NYC stresses in rural areas and the woods.
                    To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

                    ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Originally posted by R&R View Post
                      I can agree with this. It's hard when you grow up in a rural area to deal with big cities. Boston is big enough for me. NYC and even Indianapolis are too much overload. But my friend who grew up in NYC stresses in rural areas and the woods.
                      I'm born and raised in NYC and I can't take the stress either. Too many people, and almost everyone has a me first mentally. It's rare to find people who are courteous.

                      I've been thinking about leaving for a very long time.

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