Moving when dealing with a difficult ex

[sunnymess54]

My Ex is a pain in the butt, not just saying that out of spite. He legit makes EVERYTHING for me difficult.

He changes his mind about his visitation schedule. He's supposed to take the kids Friday-Sunday but doesn't unless I BEG him to. Then if he does take them he takes off and leaves them with his mom in her small store where they have no toys and because of location can't even play outside.
Sometimes he won't even pick them up when he's supposed to. He'll get them on Saturday night and bring them back first thing Sunday morning.
On my end if I do anything of the sort like leaving the kids with my parents next weekend while going to see my SO for example I have to not tell him what's going on as he will report me to the state saying I am neglecting my kids. He has reported me to the state over 25 times in the last 3 years for stupid BS just out of spite but then a few weeks later will question why I don't want to be back together with him.

He stalks me wherever I move to, he has even broken into an old bfs vehicle to get information on him because I wouldn't tell him who he was.

I have asked a lawyer here about all of this as a way to try to seek custody but she said that realistically all the judge could make him do as far as visitation is to make him take the children or agree that he'd take them but I'm scared that if he does that he won't bring them back.

As far as our court agreement goes like I said he's supposed to take them Friday-Sunday and also on Fathers Day and every other Holiday and we are supposed to let the other know where we are living. He moved out of his parents home over two years ago and still local he has yet to inform me where he lives and now he has a new Gf (thank god) but I was informed by my 5 yr old that she drove them without daddy to Walmart. I know this woman and have worked with her and she's a known Ex druggie who still hangs with people who do drugs.

I'm already concerned with my Ex taking the kids as he had in the past Drank and drove with them and he never buckles them in their carseats.
I know moving out of state will be a HUGE hassle trying to get him to agree so I'm stressing if closing the distance will ever be able to happen.

I wish I could somehow win custody but what the lawyer said scares me

[R&R]

I would suggest talking to a new lawyer. Also, document, document, document!! Every time he is late, every time he brings them back late or early, every time he misses his scheduled visit, log it. This way you have backup for everything you are stating. If he hasn't informed you of where he is living and this is part of the custody arrangement, that's a problem. Unfortunately, as far as his new GF, unless you can prove she abuses the children, there really isn't anything you can do about that.

As far as moving with an ex who can block it, you may want to look at your SO possibly being able to move to you. I closed the distance with my now ex-husband and I moved from NH to CA. My girls were 12/13 at the time and their dad would have fought them moving and he would have won. The courts here look at what they consider is best for the kids - and that would have meant not moving the children from their family here, their friends and their school when they had a parent here who was willing to take them full-time. It was a joint decision between me and the girls about me moving and I moved with their encouragement and blessing. 14 months later I was back in NH and getting divorced because I just couldn't be away from them.

[sasad]

Get a new lawyer. If he has not been following the child custody agreement and you have good documentation, you can and most likely get changes done. As R&R said....document everything. Dates, times, pictures, and depending on children's age, have them talk to a 3rd party. We had that hold up in court.
So if you reported you 25 times and nothing was found , that will end up being negative against him.
Also if the welfare of the child is at stake, and you have every right to get an emergency order put in.
Please please please find a better attny.