Single parent LDR success stories

[Bestisyettocome]

Would love to hear of any single parents in long term LDRs. How long have you been doing ldr together? How far apart are you? How frequent are visits?

My SO and I met just over 2 years ago at a party through mutual friends. What we thought may be a fun one night stand has landed us here..! We are both single parents with healthy co parenting relationships. Neither of us can move for another 12-15 years.

Our last visit was in June 2020. Border closures have kept us apart for over 6 months now. We sadly agreed it would be best to end things when the border closures started. Because despite that obstacle we also know we cannot close the distance gap anytime soon.

We tried a period of no contact (3 months), but have resumed contact again before Christmas. We both love and miss one another dearly and want to find a way to make it work.

Thankfully he travels to my state regularly for work so visits can potentially be fortnightly, at the worst, monthly.

Look forward to hearing from others!

[MsGrim]

Hi! I am a single mom of a 6 year old and my SO doesn't have any kids. We have been together almost 2 years. He has shared concerns of being a step parent and not knowing if he is ready for that (that was over a year ago). We haven't talked much about it since we have a lot more obstacles we have to face before figuring out a closing the distance date. I was able to visit him frequently before COVID, I have my family to thank for that since my daughter's father is rarely in the picture. Because of this, I would move to him when and if that time comes.

I guess this isn't a success story yet since we haven't closed the distance lol but still wanted to share. We haven't been able to see each other for 9 months now but we are trying to figure something out. My SO hasn't met my daughter yet as I want to be sure our future is a definite before I introduce them. I think it's great your SO can travel to you so frequently!! It'll definitely make things easier.

[Bestisyettocome]

Thanks so much for sharing your story MsGrim. Covid sure has added an extra challenge to LDR’s over the past 12 months!
I am sorry to hear your daughters Father is not actively involved. This certainly makes it’s a bit easier for you move if your partner decides he’d be happy to become a step parent.
My children have met my SO and they are so excited at the thought of meeting his son, who is the same age as my son.
I picture us being able to enjoy wonderful holidays with the kids together (4 periods of school holiday breaks in Australia) and extended weekends.
It’s just a matter of whether all those other ldr stresses like missing out on special occasions, attending events alone etc would get to us long term.
I hope you are able to introduce your daughter soon!

[D_M]

I'm in a different situation.
I'm a single dad and my son lives with his mother. We've had a great relationship for 16 years but he reacted badly when he found I was in a new relationship (6mths after separation) as he felt it was too soon. As a result I've not seen him in the last 7 months. We keep in touch with texts which is much less than what I'd like. I reach out but he tells me he is not ready yet.
My SO has an adult son.
My SO and I met online 9 months ago and I've never felt a connection like it. We made a commitment to each other 7 months ago to be a couple and we have only grown more in love. I want to close the gap today, get work and move to her as soon as I can. I can't wait to start my IRL life with her but I can't leave my son until he is 18 because I want to be as much a part of his growing up as possible and I don't want him to feel I've deserted him.
It is painful because, right now, I am effectively not a part of his life and don't know how long it will take until I am.
My SO has all her roots, family and support network over there (3000km away) so I've always said it makes more sense for me to move there once my son is an adult in 2 years as I'm not from here and have no other such connections.
In the meantime, once borders stay down log enough to get on a flight, I hope we can visit every 4-6 weeks.
I look forward to the time when I can close the distance. I'm really looking forward to my son to meet her too because I know they will get on great once my son has gotten used to the idea. Hopefully sooner rather than later.
Bestisyettocome, I'm jealous that your kids have met your SO and are excited about meeting his son. I think that is awesome. I understand what you're saying about special occasions and 12-15 years is a long time but for the right person, the right relationship, it's definitely worth it.

[vivid_idea]

Hi there, I thought I’d share a bit of my story, as others have done. I am a single parent with 2 kids, aged 11 and 9. I have been in an LDR with my SO for almost 2.5 years. He last visited me in March last year (just before lockdown) which was the first time he met my children. I am not gonna lie, it was very challenging. My kids felt threatened, and I didn’t handle the situation like I should have. I was with their Dad for 14 years prior to my separation and it was a difficult split for my ex, and the kids. Still, I am trying to stay positive and focus on the future. I love my SO and want for us to be together one day. I don’t know when we will be able to see each other again, yet. I am in Australia and he is in Germany. LDRs are one of the hardest things to do, but when it’s love, they can be next to impossible to walk away from. You are very lucky that your kids are showing positive feelings towards your LDR. Best of luck to you.

[Bestisyettocome]

Hi D_M, thanks for sharing your situation and I’m sorry to hear your son is having trouble accepting the separation and idea of you having a new partner. I guess I have age on my kids side. They were only 5 months and 3.5 half when their dad left and commenced a new relationship immediately. It took him 12 months to introduce the kid’s to his now wife, but they’ve known no different from such a young age. I think seeing their dad partnered and me alone helps with them being more open to spending time with my SO.
I don’t have a great deal of advice regarding your son other than to stay persistent and don’t give up. He’s likely dealing with feelings of being replaced / abandoned for this new special person in your life. And of course while there is absolutely room for both of them in your heart and life, he still doesn’t have the emotional maturity to understand that. I hope persistence pays off and he comes around eventually. I also hope he has the chance to meet your SO soon.

[Bestisyettocome]

Hi vivid_idea, I’m sorry to hear the Covid border closures are impacting you guys so badly. And I’m sorry to hear the meeting with your children didn’t go as hoped. I hope you can take some comfort knowing that is quite normal reaction amongst children that age. I am only fortunate I guess as my children are slightly younger and my SO’s son is the same age and has very similar interests to my son.
I was 10 when my parents separated and my mum moved straight into a new relationship. My sister and I stayed with my dad while she moved interstate to rekindle a romance from her past. Your situation is different as you are not leaving your children, but for me personally, i struggled significantly with the thought my mother could leave us for another man. And it took some time for me to accept him. But they are still married today and we did eventually get there and have a good relationship with him today. It wasn’t easy, but we go there. My mums new partner also had 4 children so we always enjoyed having kid’s to play with when we visited.
I hope your girls adjust to your situation soon. Do you include them in some of your FaceTime calls with your SO? I’ve done that, even if they quickly pop in for a quick hello and brief chat. Just to break the ice before meeting again in person.