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    #1

    feel depressed all the time..help?!

    Hi!

    When my boyfriend and I got together almost a year and a half ago, we knew he would be studying abroad the following school year straight away. He left last July and it was horrible. Up until then we had spent maximum a day and a half without seeing each-other, and even then we used to Skype on the nights we were apart. So his moving away was really quite a shock and a huge change in the dynamics of the couple. On Christmas he told me, that seeing how strong we are despite the distance, he actually loves me more, and wants to spend his life with me (no, we are not engaged, as I am 19 and he 21...but it was very real and serious and the best night of my life).

    Ever since then though, he has been acting a bit strange, I guess it's just his way of coping, but he's been more distant, and expresses his love less. Before he would support me when I had exams, and today, he didn't even wish me luck or ask me how it went. I think I may be over-thinking way too much, but I just can't handle the distance anymore. He's all I think about and I can't concentrate on anything else =( June really couldn't come fast enough!
    "We're warriors, we'll survive no matter what!" -my boyfriend
    Tags: #depressed #help
    #2
    I can imagine it must be a big change for you as a couple. May I ask what you do to keep in touch?
    I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
    - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



    "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

    Comment

      #3
      Originally posted by pymuto View Post
      Hi!

      When my boyfriend and I got together almost a year and a half ago, we knew he would be studying abroad the following school year straight away. He left last July and it was horrible. Up until then we had spent maximum a day and a half without seeing each-other, and even then we used to Skype on the nights we were apart. So his moving away was really quite a shock and a huge change in the dynamics of the couple. On Christmas he told me, that seeing how strong we are despite the distance, he actually loves me more, and wants to spend his life with me (no, we are not engaged, as I am 19 and he 21...but it was very real and serious and the best night of my life).

      Ever since then though, he has been acting a bit strange, I guess it's just his way of coping, but he's been more distant, and expresses his love less. Before he would support me when I had exams, and today, he didn't even wish me luck or ask me how it went. I think I may be over-thinking way too much, but I just can't handle the distance anymore. He's all I think about and I can't concentrate on anything else =( June really couldn't come fast enough!
      Have you asked him how he is doing, or what is going on, before you jump to conclusions and over-think the worst? Are you keeping in touch as much as you can? He is probably just busy, or having difficulties of his own, just has things on his mind. When my SO is swamped with work, or having problems with his job, kids, or other things going on in his life, he gets very quiet. He's told me that, too, that it's how he handles things. He also doesn't tell me he loves me often, sometimes it feels to me not often enough, but I do have tendencies to be a bit clingy and needy, and he does express his love in other ways.

      As for you, to avoid the depression, or make it less, you need to get busy and do something you enjoy, whether it be a new hobby, exercise class, a good movie, going for a walk, or a bit of pampering with a new hairdo, mani-pedi, or just a bubble bath with candles and some nice, relaxing music.

      I have found that the happier and busier I am, the more relaxed and happy my SO is, and when he's happy, I get more attention from him, too.

      It does get hard, being in an LDR, and not being able to see each other, but it is doable, as long as we keep the communications channels open. We are so lucky to be living in the age of Internet, Communications Technology, and Social Networks. Skype is made for couples in LDR, and many of us wouldn't have met in the first place without social networks like Facebook.


      TWO HEARTS BEATING AS ONE, LOVE BRIGHTER THAN THE SUN...

      Nothing Can Keep Us Apart, Safe In Each Other's Heart

      Comment

        #4
        Hi there I think AussieAmericanGirl66 gave some great advice. I know when my SO is swamped with work and school, he tends to retreat and talk to me less and I more often than not take it the wrong way. I'm sure he's just busy and missing you, and I wouldn't jump to conclusions before talking to him and asking what's up. As for yourself, find things to do to keep you occupied. Focus on yourself and what makes you happy (:

        Comment

          #5
          differentcountries We usually text during the day, at least to say hello every day =) and depending on our moods it can go from talking all day to sending maybe only 3 or 4 messages. We use the application Couple, which is great and really fun to use (we were using it even before he left). We also Skype at least once a week when we have time and sometimes we even watch an episode of one of our favorite shows together.

          AussieAmericanGirl66 and RachelAnne Yes I do ask him if something is wrong, he always says everything is great and that he didn't even realize there was a 'problem' and that he was communicating less. I think that that is partly what bothers me, the him not noticing that he is talking to me less than usual.

          I really appreciate all your replies and tips and the support, I do try to keep myself busy, but more often than not, my thoughts tend to fly back to him and I wonder what he's doing at that moment, if he's thinking about me too, why he STILL hasn't answered etc. I know, in theory, that this is very unhealthy and I could be smothering him...it's the practice part which is more difficult though!
          "We're warriors, we'll survive no matter what!" -my boyfriend

          Comment

            #6
            If you like to Skype, I wonder why you don't do it more often. I like text and the apps and all, but it is seeing his face and hearing his voice that make me feel the closest to him.
            I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
            - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



            "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

            Comment

              #7
              In the beginning we used to Skype everyday and it was amazing, just 'being' with him..we would even just read but stay connected to feel the other's presence. But he hinted that everyday was a bit too much for him so we started skyping every two or three days. The longest we have gone without skyping was a week, and I felt horrible not being able to hear his voice or see his face for so long. I guess it really depends on the week. 10 days ago we skyped in the morning, talked on Viber, and then skyped again in the evening =D
              "We're warriors, we'll survive no matter what!" -my boyfriend

              Comment

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