Coping alone, abroad

[Rebtastic]

So my boyfriend and I met online in February, and quickly started dating irl after a couple of weeks chatting. We hit it off and very quickly fell in love, both knowing hat I'd be moving abroad from Sept - July. We spent all summer together, I pretty much moved in, and it was wonderful, we're so perfect for each other. Now I'm 6 hours ahead and even after more than 2 weeks here in Russia I'm finding it almost impossible to cope, as soon as I get back to my room it hits me that I'm not going to be able to see him, and I'm finding it very difficult to interest myself in my studies/ create a social life. We facetime every day but even then it's not the same as being able to hold him like I am so used to. I've never been so dependent on anyone before and I've no idea how to cope, does anyone have any ideas of how to make it a bit more bearable?
Sorry for the long post, am feeling rather emotional...

[OperaDiva]

My story is very similar to yours, except we only dated for 3 months close-distance before I came to Finland I don't know if you have ever lived outside of your country before, but have you considered you might be suffering from culture shock? It is a big stress and quite normal to feel overwhelmed.
I would suggest that you establish a routine of contact - call each other at the same time every day, text or IM as well. It takes a while, but having a constant communication helped me calm down a bit. Also, find something to do (that is how you find friends as well) - a hobby or something. That helps with getting over culture shock as well.
Do you have any idea how long you will be in Russia? Any plans for visits?

[Rebtastic]

That's cool to hear, how are you guys holding up?
I've never lived outside of the UK for more than 6 weeks (when I was 3), and this place is so completely different to home in almost every way! I'm also still studying the language and can barely get myself understood which completely knocks back my confidence, even in classes!
We text quite often during the day, and we facetime when he wakes up (2pm my time), on his break at work (6:30pm my time) and when he gets back from work (midnight my time) which is great, but it doesn't compare to being with him! I went to the gym today and felt the best I have since coming here, then I got back into my room again and it all sort of fell apart. I'm still looking for something to do regularly, I'm getting overwhelmed with work too!
I'm here until July, he's visiting for a week in November, I'm going home for a week over New Year, back for a month at the end of Jan then that's it until July! Hopefully we'll schedule something for that time from February as it's a long time to not see each other!

[differentcountries]

I will chip in on the culture shock. I have had that in Turkey despite not loving her "for real", just the visits but I have been alone here alot and not knowing Turkish does leave me socially disabled at times (though some people the most touristy of places know a bit English, at the local store people won't even move unless you say "Excuse me" in Turkish). I dare say I have cried for not being understood. And even stuff like not knowing what the food traditions are, it does make you feel like a child when you make mistakes. The good thing is that it will come to you, little by little. At least, with Turkish that happened to me (I have studied by myself and now I also take classes). Daily life where the language is being used ill probably make it easier for you to learn than it would been to have learned the language back in the UK. So it is hard, but I promise you it will pay off

Workout is very good for dealing with seperation pains and culture shocks, it puts your head somewhere else.

It is very good you have visits planned Do you do anything to count down the time for next visit?

[CanGirl]

I met my SO right before I left for New Zealand. It was tough in the beginning but after a bit you fall into a pattern and time starts to fly. Atleast for us it did. I work here though from 5 am to about 6 pm so that takes up a lot of my time and I text during work when I have a moment. No facetime or skype made it really difficult. We cope with pictures. The culture shock wasn't a major thing for me. I felt more alone than anything. In the beginning I didn't have a car and never went out(still don't) but when I get a weekend off I go to a hostel and hang out with people my age which is really cool! I can't go traveling with them yet but it's a good change and takes your mind off things if even for a little while. Maybe like others have said you could join a club or stay in a hostel(not sure if they have those here) and meet new people. After a while you will look at the date and realize it's almost time to go home. I wish you luck! It's tough but the best things in life never come easy. The reunion is gonna be one to remember *hugs*

[Rebtastic]

Some days are definitely harder than others. I have found that when I'm socialising I am much happier than when I'm alone. I'e spoken to my teaches about the difficulty I'm having settling in so they've reduced my work load in order for me to get out more, which is not what I was expecting but am not going to complain! I've not gotten a way of counting down until they arrive, it's less than a month 'til I see my dad and a month and 1 month 2 weeks until I see my SO. I've already booked my flights home for New Year, very excited! I'm living in student halls so I see a couple of people regularly, I guess I'm used to being surrounded by people I love so being here is quite a shock. Found some other people from England which is great, so nice to talk about home!
Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words, it's so great to hear how other people are in similar situations to me

[Hollandia]

Culture shock can definitely lead to depression imo. I was completely miserable when my SO left for Dublin and I was all alone in his NL waiting to meet up with him. I babely left the apartment and I felt more like I was in jail than anything else. I also started to have these thoughts, like what would happen if someone broke in the apartment and attacked me, or how I had nobody in the country if someone mugged me at the atm. I was beyond paranoid with my SO going out all of a sudden and I felt like all the people were ridiculing me inside when I would go out to the market for food. I was so homesick, I was actually sick.

When I came to Belfast again it felt very different and foreign but my SO was here with me. He was massively homesick. The odd thing is after two weeks we both began to adjust. I think what both you and are went through was a mix of homesick and heartbreak, an ugly mix. The only way to get through it, is to push forward. Stay as busy as you can remind yourself you do indeed have lights at the end of that tunnel that can feel so very very dark at times.

[OperaDiva]

That's cool to hear, how are you guys holding up?

Sorry, I didn't see this until now! We are going strong, one year LDR already one thing I can recommend is that you make your room "yours", decorate it maybe, with pictures of you two, or of your friends and family? Then find some friends or people to hang out with, which is where the hobby comes in. It certainly takes a while, but it is not impossible to get used to a new place. And one year really passes by very quickly!