I'm living in Europe and working in a boarding school. I teach a bit here and there, but mainly work on the resident staff (I'm the adult supervision for the teenagers that live here when the faculty/staff go home for the evening/night/weekend).
That being said, I have been very unhappy in my job. I work a weird and awful combination of day and night hours that go beyond my contract.
I've been dealing with some situational depression for the past few months in feeling isolated and far away/stuck. The students here are ill-behaved (privileged and sent here when their parents don't want to deal with them. One student ha a gold-plated iPhone--I wish I was joking, too). My social life here is very nearly non-existent as my days off are Mondays and Tuesdays and I never have weekends. It's hard because I've never dealt with depression before--it's very unlike me to be in a situation where I so consistently feel down and not want to get out of bed in the morning (from my job and living situation, not particularly the LDR). My S.O. is still studying, so he is still back where we met. He is also unhappy with his situation (he works a lot outside being a full time student) and has been suffering from depression, which is something he has dealt with for a long time, but this situation has been particularly difficult for him. He is understanding of this new feeling for me, since he's been there, but when he's down he wants to be on his own and doesn't particularly want to talk about it. So, neither of us are at our best right now, and we have different needs to deal with similar issues.
The good news: we only have three months left as I will not be renewing my contract and will be moving back to the US and will be living very near him, and moving in together after about a year. I'm looking forward to both of us feeling that we are back to normal (he visited during the Christmas season, and it was wonderful, but both put us pretty down immediately after knowing that we had months more still, kind of doing it all over again).
Basically, for a long time, I felt like I was never going to leave here to go home. Now, I've been encouraged by the quick approach of the end of the boarding school year, but I guess my relationship is feeling a bit flat at the moment. I just don't want to provoke a fight when he needs to be left alone. We are generally two very independent people, and I think the attitude we both have is that things suck right now, we are not at our best individually or as a couple with the stressors of jobs and distance, but that in a short time it will all be over.
While I'm glad we can agree that this is a temporary issue, I'm having a hard time getting through this last stretch with a lack of communication. While I feel I need more communication, I also feel it is best that I let him come to me when he feels up to communicating. I understand that he is much more an actions over words person, which has made this particularly hard for him, (we've discussed this many a time). In the meantime, though, my life is just quiet, and I am bored and lonely.
I do find quite a bit of support/company in talking to my friends, but I guess I just wanted to see if anyone could relate to this. I am not particularly looking for someone to tell me to tell him I need him to talk to me more. I really feel that I need to let it be. I guess I just need advice outside of that: what did/do you do to keep your mind off things? How did you get past the last stretch of time? I do plan to be travelling when the students are on Spring break, but when I am working so much outside that and so stressed, I find it hard to be myself when I am worrying about my feelings. It would be nice to know that I'm not the only one feeling this way. I just want it to be clear that I'm not saying 'I'm upset we don't text every 5 seconds' but more looking for some direction in how you deal with doing your own thing. I enjoy that I am independent in my relationship but am looking for extra support at this particular hard time.
Hope this wasn't too long--sorry for the info-vomit guys!
That being said, I have been very unhappy in my job. I work a weird and awful combination of day and night hours that go beyond my contract.
I've been dealing with some situational depression for the past few months in feeling isolated and far away/stuck. The students here are ill-behaved (privileged and sent here when their parents don't want to deal with them. One student ha a gold-plated iPhone--I wish I was joking, too). My social life here is very nearly non-existent as my days off are Mondays and Tuesdays and I never have weekends. It's hard because I've never dealt with depression before--it's very unlike me to be in a situation where I so consistently feel down and not want to get out of bed in the morning (from my job and living situation, not particularly the LDR). My S.O. is still studying, so he is still back where we met. He is also unhappy with his situation (he works a lot outside being a full time student) and has been suffering from depression, which is something he has dealt with for a long time, but this situation has been particularly difficult for him. He is understanding of this new feeling for me, since he's been there, but when he's down he wants to be on his own and doesn't particularly want to talk about it. So, neither of us are at our best right now, and we have different needs to deal with similar issues.
The good news: we only have three months left as I will not be renewing my contract and will be moving back to the US and will be living very near him, and moving in together after about a year. I'm looking forward to both of us feeling that we are back to normal (he visited during the Christmas season, and it was wonderful, but both put us pretty down immediately after knowing that we had months more still, kind of doing it all over again).
Basically, for a long time, I felt like I was never going to leave here to go home. Now, I've been encouraged by the quick approach of the end of the boarding school year, but I guess my relationship is feeling a bit flat at the moment. I just don't want to provoke a fight when he needs to be left alone. We are generally two very independent people, and I think the attitude we both have is that things suck right now, we are not at our best individually or as a couple with the stressors of jobs and distance, but that in a short time it will all be over.
While I'm glad we can agree that this is a temporary issue, I'm having a hard time getting through this last stretch with a lack of communication. While I feel I need more communication, I also feel it is best that I let him come to me when he feels up to communicating. I understand that he is much more an actions over words person, which has made this particularly hard for him, (we've discussed this many a time). In the meantime, though, my life is just quiet, and I am bored and lonely.
I do find quite a bit of support/company in talking to my friends, but I guess I just wanted to see if anyone could relate to this. I am not particularly looking for someone to tell me to tell him I need him to talk to me more. I really feel that I need to let it be. I guess I just need advice outside of that: what did/do you do to keep your mind off things? How did you get past the last stretch of time? I do plan to be travelling when the students are on Spring break, but when I am working so much outside that and so stressed, I find it hard to be myself when I am worrying about my feelings. It would be nice to know that I'm not the only one feeling this way. I just want it to be clear that I'm not saying 'I'm upset we don't text every 5 seconds' but more looking for some direction in how you deal with doing your own thing. I enjoy that I am independent in my relationship but am looking for extra support at this particular hard time.
Hope this wasn't too long--sorry for the info-vomit guys!
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