Little Communicating: New to LDRs

[Caitlin]

I am only six days into my LDR and so far I completely suck at it. My boyfriend is on a three month business trip that is going to most likely turn into him being in a different state altogether. It would be different if we were able to text, call, and skype whenever we wanted to, but the issue is that the first couple of weeks of his trip are his company's training, and he isn't able to be on his phone AT ALL during the day. So far, our phone schedule consists of me getting a call from him around 8:00 am his time (11:00 am my time) and then going all day with no word until he's passing out around 11:00 pm his time and 2:00 am my time. Our morning conversations are short and rushed, usually about five minutes and our night conversations are sleepy and the phone reception where he is makes us have to repeat ourselves several times, just making it more frustrating. I am lonely and find myself getting upset with him for not being able to talk when I need him to... even though I know this is because of his job requirements for the training portion of his trip. The advice and/or comments from people who can relate on how to handle this situation would be much appreciated!

(Also, first post on LFAD. Yay!)

[MissingMyDutchLove]

You might want to try sending one message a day to each other (along with what ever other communication you tend to have like phone calls) whenever is most convenient for you guys. For instance, he could take a lunch break to send you a longer message just talking about anything that went on for that day or how much he misses you or whatever else. Likewise, you could send him a longer message before you go to bed or when you wake up. That way you get to stay involved with each others lives without needing to talk constantly.

Along with this, you have to keep yourself busy and try to be content with only having slight communication with him during this time. Long distance isn't easy for anyone, but right now he doesn't have the ability to talk to you more frequently. If he was just being lazy or something I would say to keep nagging because something has to change, but the fact of the matter is that right now it cannot and will not change. You have to come to terms with that whatever way you can and appreciate the fact that he tries to communicate when he has the time.

[differentcountries]

You are in a way lucky because you KNOW that his reason to be in little contact is is work. You also know that the situation is limited. I would strongly suggest you finding someone else to be your main confidant during this time. I am in sort of the same situation as you, exept I don't get phone calls from him and rarely Skype. I feel you on the sleepy evening convo. It really sucks to not be able to be in closer contact. I was so frustrated by the end of last working season with SO (6 months, of which 3 is high season) that I was crying, being angry, asked him if he loved me anymore etc. It is really hard and neccesarily no quick fix. But try to focus on the goal, if you believe in the goal. And to make some plans about what happens after the trip - can you meet up, have nice dates and so on? As for me, I know that SO is extremely grateful that I am able to endure the harder parts of his scedule - he was anyway, and this season is harder. Take care of yourself and try to swallow that fact that he can only be there for you in a very limited way right now - but it is not going to be like that forever.