We've been together for 4 years and 3 months.. He went to Canada a month ago. And just recently he suddenly decided that he wants to renew his PR and that he will have to stay there for 2 or more years.. This will be the first time in our relationship that we will be far apart from each other.. I talked to my friends about it but I feel like they really don't understand and they aren't capable of empathizing with my situation since "it's easier said than done". I don't know how and where to start accepting our situation.. Right now I'm at a dead end, it's too much for me to take in..
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Welcome to LFAD. I know that LD seems like the worst thing possible right now, but there are many on here that are proof that it can work for you. You have a strong base to your relationship which will help. It's all about dating while you're apart and keeping that relationship alive. There are plenty of good suggestions on here to help you do that. You have an end date. He needs to stay for two years. That's a long time, but it isn't forever. There are many of us on here that have no end in sight. You will get through this and it will make you stronger as a couple. -
I can' t help but to overthink.. especially the what ifs.. I'm really scared because of this LD situation.. But thank you so much for the advice, I'm very grateful. He's here in the country now, but he'll go back to Canada in November... So it's going to be a month and then after that straight 2 years or more that he'll stay there..Comment
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You say straight two years, but you can have visits in there. Two weeks twice a year doesn't seem like much, but it definitely makes a difference! It breaks up your time a little more and you can continue to keep your physical relationship alive despite living in different countries. Two years will FLY by. I have been with my SO two years. About half LD and half CD, but we have only ever been CD for 6 months at a time. We have gone 7 months at a time without seeing each other. It's been hard. Very very hard. But getting to see his face after those 7 months make it all worth it. You need to remember why you're doing this: you'd rather have him across the world than not at all. If you can't agree with that statement, then you might want to rethink being LD.Comment
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That's the best advice I've heard so far. Thank you dear! It really means a lot! Perhaps I am just overthinking things, blinded by all the what ifs and negativity..Comment
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Glad I could help! Try your best not to let the negatives overtake your whole situation. It's really easy to do, but it makes the whole process A LOT harder and talking becomes a chore rather than something fun and exciting. If you ever want to talk more specifically or want some tips feel free to PM me!Comment
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Oh yes! I would love that. I think I can get a lot of tips and advices from you. Wait, does this have a private message thing. Haha so I can send you my email, maybe we can talk more there rather than in this forum. Haha!Comment
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I don't suppose I could ask you for tips also?
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Hi,Originally posted by sheepy_07511 View Post
I just want to say that with the negativity and what ifs, I am going through that too, however, it does go!
Not on it's own, but with dedication and commitment, it eases. Currently what I am left with is the after effect of depression/anxiety but it means that it's down to external reasons.
The biggest thing that helps me, is to keep yourself busy. This can be difficult, and it might sound cliche to say you should exercise and join clubs, but do it!!
The great thing about this is that you get to find yourself while still being committed. This means that you will have that independence, which makes for a great relationship.Comment
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Oh hey! Thank you for the advice!
Me too! So busy that I get surprised that time flies really fast, like it's monday and then it's friday again. Keeping yourself busy is really really helpful! And I don't feel any negativity anymore, I think I have adjusted and so far things are going great. yay! I agree with what you said in the last part. Totally agree.Comment
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