Hi everyone - this is my first post. I'm really glad that I found this site, because I've had no one to talk to who is in or has been in a LDR.
I've been with my boyfriend for 8 years. We met in high school, went to college together, and spent a year after college together. He decided to move to LA to pursue a career in comedy writing. It was really tough because he told me that he was going to leave a month before he left, and we didn't really discuss the future or make any plans. Obviously, that made things really hard and we struggled for the first half year to figure things out. We almost broke up, or rather I almost broke up with him, but then we decided that our relationship is worth saving. He's going to move back at the end of May, which is great, but we made that plan last March - a year ago.
A year is a looooong time to sit and wait and think. I feel like all I do is go back and forth about this. Our plan is to move in together, and it was his idea so I feel confident that he is doing this because he really wants to. Still, I feel guilty all the time that he's moving back for me (granted, to NYC, so he can still work in comedy). I also still get mad at him all the time for leaving so abruptly, and I get really lonely (I'm in grad school so there isn't a lot of time for socializing).
Lately I've been really frustrated. I know that we're "in the final stretch" but I am so so worried that when the time comes he will decide to stay. I'm trying to stay cautiously optimistic, but doing that has made me a bit distant and very sad. I have a really hard time with distance and goodbyes. My dad died when I was in college, and that experience has made me very anxious when the people I love are far away from me.
Do you think I should talk to him about this or let it be? I'm visiting him in two weeks, and I hate when I cry and get upset during our visits. Also, if you've had experience talking about things like this, what has been good to say and what has caused more problems?
Thank you all so much!
I've been with my boyfriend for 8 years. We met in high school, went to college together, and spent a year after college together. He decided to move to LA to pursue a career in comedy writing. It was really tough because he told me that he was going to leave a month before he left, and we didn't really discuss the future or make any plans. Obviously, that made things really hard and we struggled for the first half year to figure things out. We almost broke up, or rather I almost broke up with him, but then we decided that our relationship is worth saving. He's going to move back at the end of May, which is great, but we made that plan last March - a year ago.
A year is a looooong time to sit and wait and think. I feel like all I do is go back and forth about this. Our plan is to move in together, and it was his idea so I feel confident that he is doing this because he really wants to. Still, I feel guilty all the time that he's moving back for me (granted, to NYC, so he can still work in comedy). I also still get mad at him all the time for leaving so abruptly, and I get really lonely (I'm in grad school so there isn't a lot of time for socializing).
Lately I've been really frustrated. I know that we're "in the final stretch" but I am so so worried that when the time comes he will decide to stay. I'm trying to stay cautiously optimistic, but doing that has made me a bit distant and very sad. I have a really hard time with distance and goodbyes. My dad died when I was in college, and that experience has made me very anxious when the people I love are far away from me.
Do you think I should talk to him about this or let it be? I'm visiting him in two weeks, and I hate when I cry and get upset during our visits. Also, if you've had experience talking about things like this, what has been good to say and what has caused more problems?
Thank you all so much!
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