So I've recently gone into a 3 month long distance relationship with my girlfriend. We met about 5 months ago in another country and have had 2 months spent together in our homelands. Though we live about 2 hours drive apart from each other I found this distance much more manageable and so did she (though neither of us worked very much so we were able to see a lot of each other). We had small discussions about the distance between us and have both cried about it but now that she's gone I didn't realize quite how much i'd be affected. For starters we'd said we would see how it gos but as time drew closer to her departure we were getting stronger and stronger. We talked about how if we did make it we'd be even stronger for it and I don't doubt it.
So now that she has gone which was only a few days ago it has hit me a lot harder than expected. I've tried to keep occupied and it may have helped slightly but I find sleeping at night extremely difficult and my home has almost become a prison (currently I have no money and no job). I have a job interview coming up and am hoping this along with more time passing will ease the situation. We have talked a couple of times since she's gone and seem to have settled on the idea that we'll contact every other day. I guess my first real issue is the fact that she doesn't understand why I'm feeling so upset. And I’m constantly over thinking everything at the moment.
She has understood that I'm sad but insists that I must get on with my life too. I completely understand this point but it is much easier to say than to action (especially as she’s 20 and I’m 24). I'm worried that I'll become too needy and just drive her away. I will (if things are working) go out and visit her midway into the 3 months if I can salvage the money but that's something I feel is too early to talk about at the moment and something on the horizon as I have no means to get there at the moment. Basically I just want to know if it will get easier over time. I've given myself a timeline and that timeline is 2 weeks from when she left. If I still feel the same way in 2 weeks I think I'll end it as i'm sure it would be better in the long run, I know there are tons of articles online but I feel some specific advice would be extremely useful to me right now.
So now that she has gone which was only a few days ago it has hit me a lot harder than expected. I've tried to keep occupied and it may have helped slightly but I find sleeping at night extremely difficult and my home has almost become a prison (currently I have no money and no job). I have a job interview coming up and am hoping this along with more time passing will ease the situation. We have talked a couple of times since she's gone and seem to have settled on the idea that we'll contact every other day. I guess my first real issue is the fact that she doesn't understand why I'm feeling so upset. And I’m constantly over thinking everything at the moment.
She has understood that I'm sad but insists that I must get on with my life too. I completely understand this point but it is much easier to say than to action (especially as she’s 20 and I’m 24). I'm worried that I'll become too needy and just drive her away. I will (if things are working) go out and visit her midway into the 3 months if I can salvage the money but that's something I feel is too early to talk about at the moment and something on the horizon as I have no means to get there at the moment. Basically I just want to know if it will get easier over time. I've given myself a timeline and that timeline is 2 weeks from when she left. If I still feel the same way in 2 weeks I think I'll end it as i'm sure it would be better in the long run, I know there are tons of articles online but I feel some specific advice would be extremely useful to me right now.
It will get better over time. I haven't seen my SO in almost half a year. The first weeks were unbearable. I couldn't sleep. We have a time difference, so I adjusted my sleep rythm to his time zone. It was especially awful, because I knew I wouldn't see him for at least 6 months, if not 8-9 months. It got better with making plans to see each other and plans to get together eventually. I still miss him terribly, but now I can take my thoughts off and do other important things, especially since those things are acting towards our goal to get together. It got better with every month. I have the feeling, that we really belong together, so I wouldn't want to throw it away. I think what's important is that you both want to be together eventually and make plans. You should clear your mind about whether your partner wants the same thing as you want. If you still come to the conclusion, that you're not on the same level in the relationship (saying, that you want it more than her, because if you say she doesn't understand how upset you are, that is something very likely), then it might be good to end it. But she might as well be worth the trouble and then surviving long-distance is something beautiful that can get you closer together. Also consider whether you're just upset because you have all this free time in the jobless situation. It's always a good advice to get your life together first and then rethink your relationship. Maybe you just need to get busy to be more content and the relationship will get better like this. I'd advice to give it some more time and reconsider before making rushed decisions.
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