Is it worth it?

[dutchperson]

Hello!

First let me explain my situation. I'm Dutch and on an exchange year in Washington USA. As I graduated from high school in the Netherlands last year, I decided to explore American high school and culture. The past half year I have had a class with an amazing guy and a couple weeks ago we've started dating. He is amazing and I really really like him. It might be way too soon to say that I love him, but it comes pretty close. I've had the flu the last week and he has been so sweet. He is great. He treats me the same when his friends are and are not around. He puts me first in every situation and he is willing to do everything for me.
In the end of June, when the schoolyear ends, I'm going back to Holland to start college there in September. I kind of know that we're gonna break up or we will do long distance... But long distance is kind of impossible, because of money. In this year I've realized how much I love Dutch culture and that I would never want to leave my country ever again for so long...

I'm really wondering if this is worth all the pain that will follow...

[kittyo9]

Have you and your SO discussed it at all? If you're that into the relationship, it would still be possible to continue as an LD couple and just do visits until you guys graduate. Alternately, your SO could look into study abroad programs in the Netherlands, although I only recommend this if it's a program that truly benefits his education and not just because you're there. You probably wouldn't be able to have more than a few visits a year, though, which can be hard for a couple who sees each other all the time.

[Chris516]

Hello!

First let me explain my situation. I'm Dutch and on an exchange year in Washington USA. As I graduated from high school in the Netherlands last year, I decided to explore American high school and culture. The past half year I have had a class with an amazing guy and a couple weeks ago we've started dating. He is amazing and I really really like him. It might be way too soon to say that I love him, but it comes pretty close. I've had the flu the last week and he has been so sweet. He is great. He treats me the same when his friends are and are not around. He puts me first in every situation and he is willing to do everything for me.
In the end of June, when the schoolyear ends, I'm going back to Holland to start college there in September. I kind of know that we're gonna break up or we will do long distance... But long distance is kind of impossible, because of money. In this year I've realized how much I love Dutch culture and that I would never want to leave my country ever again for so long...

I'm really wondering if this is worth all the pain that will follow...

You can try having an LDR.

[erwin1973]

Actually I agree with Kitty and Chris.

If you really feel special, both, why not try an LDR? It's gonna be hard, yes. But it's gonna be worth it, when it works out.

Think about this, my fellow Dutch person: how will you feel if you did NOT try and LDR with your bf? You will allways be wondering 'what if'? So I would say: give it your best shot. And with the modern techniques, lot is possible.

Just for the record, my SO and me have a 7 hour time difference... And it works perfectly.

Good luck!

[Moon]

Just like any other type of relationship you take a chance on, it might be worth it, and it might not be. There's no way to know unless you pursue it and find out. I think for someone as young as you are, it's harder to go after an LDR because you still have years of schooling left and you're a broke student, without much money for visits. It's hard and it's not fun, but eventually, if you stay together, you'll start careers and you'll have the money to visit. They won't be long visits, because you'll be working, but you'll be able to do it. If you stay together still, you'll want to decide who's moving where, and how you'll work it out for both of you. If the two of you are a great match, all of this is doable and of course, very worth it in the end. But first you both need to decide if you think you have the potential to go the distance, not everybody does, and decide from there. Yes, you're risking getting hurt and being lonely and frustrated, but it also helps you to be more independent than you would be otherwise, so it just depends on if you think you can handle it and if it's worth it to you to try. If it's not, that's perfectly OK, not everyone is the right type for an LDR, so think about it, talk about it, and see where you get with it. Good luck.

[kittyo9]

Think about this, my fellow Dutch person: how will you feel if you did NOT try and LDR with your bf? You will allways be wondering 'what if'? So I would say: give it your best shot. And with the modern techniques, lot is possible.

This is actually what my good friend said to me before I started my last relationship, and is the reason I chose to pursue it, despite it being long distance! It's fair advice. Obviously, look out for your own interests as well, and don't compromise on things like your education or personal values just for the relationship, but also be open to discovering the joys of your relationship from a distance.

[TaraMarie]

I'm going to respond differently......yes, I'm in an Ldr and I think it's worth it. However, I've been Mom to NINE exchange students.....I've seen what happens. And hearts that get broken. I think the OP is in a different world than the rest of us. Everything here is new and exciting, and each day is a joy when you are an exchange student. But in the end, it's not real life and things will change. The OP even admitted that moving away just won't happen. I think the OP should just enjoy her exchange year. That in and of itself is an amazing experience.

[lovestoread]

yes it is worth it,and you should definitly go for it

[hmrambling]

It depends on the two of you if it is worth it. Long distance can take a lot of effort, but any relationship can take a lot of effort. It would probably be good to talk to him about your concerns.