is 3 years too much for LDR?

[429z]

I recently read that the average LDR lasts 14 months. With this and with many other insecurities I find myself in a difficult situation.

My boyfriend of 2 years just finished med school and has matched for a residency program. While we don't know where exactly (they will announce it on Friday 3/17), we do know it wont be in NY (where we both live currently). His interviews were in other states (he unfortunately did not have any interviews in NY -- even though he applied). The program will most likely be for about 3 years, and while we haven't sat down to discuss our options, I'm open to trying LDR, but wondering if 3 years will be too much for us.

He's been an important part of my life these past 2 years and not being near him will leave an empty hole in my heart.

Is 3 years too much? Has anyone done something similar?

[sasad]

You both need to talk about and decide that, we cant.
But plenty have. Moon is on 8 years I think, and some over a year and haven't met irl. Military separate a lot as well. So yeah, its something that happens a lot.

[Rezie]

We have been doing this for 5 years now. Some have even longer and some will still continue for decades. Everyone is in a different situation. 3 years is too much if you feel it is too much. You just need to talk what you both want. Also you can try LDR and if it doesn't feel right then you can stop. Decisions don't have to be final.

[Mims27]

My wife and I were in LDR for a little over 5 years before we finally closed the distance. LDR isn't for everyone, but if you are determined and it is what you want then you can make it work.

[R&R]

My SO and I have been together a total of 4 years (6 months, a break up, and back together 3 1/2 years). We got married last November and probably won't be able to move to the same place until the end of this year or the beginning of next year.

Only the couple can make it work. Don't stress yourself out over something that hasn't happened....instead figure out ways together to make it work.

[Honour]

Most of us will find ourselves in LDRs for 2-3 years plus before the distance can be closed. It's not just down to the couple (that's obviously the biggest factor), but real life circumstances cannot always work in our favour. It just depends and varies between couples. One member on here has been in her LDR (as far as we know) for over 10 years!

[80anthea]

4 1/2 years going strong here. It can be done if both parties want it.

[Alexaa]

I agree with the posts above, it can be done. For us it's 1 1/2 years, it's hard but we manage

[erwin1973]

An average is just a number. If one LDR survives a week and another LDR survives for 2½ years, the average is pretty much 14 months... But was does that mean? Right. Nothing.
There are lies, big lies and statistics. Don't believe numbers from statistics. They mean nothing.

My first LDR took 3 years before we got married and then another year before we closed the distance. For us, that did work. And that was in the time there was no Skype. We wrote letters (by regulair mail, because she didn't have a computer!) and we called (by phone, costing a fortune).

[CanadianGirl]

We're another couple who did a little over 5 years apart before moving in together. I'd say statistics do have value in getting an idea of how difficult LDRs can be for most people, but it gets pretty silly to try and apply a large and very general statistic to a single couple. How long is the average close-distance relationship? Maybe 2 years? Yet, there are so many couples who spend their whole adult lives together. People who really want to be together will do what it takes. If you're concerned about missing out on all those years of being together in person, that's valid too.

[Freebird]

Depends on your situation! I've been in an LDR for over 3 years now. Going strong and hoping to end the distance late this year or early next year.

[Ejoriah]

Well I mean, when an LDR ends it could be because the couple has closed the distance... so yeah I agree with all the others who say to be wary of the statistic.

[kittyxuchiha11]

As someone who really looked into ldr statistics for a college project, i have to say some of them are just really crap studies that were only done by asking only 100 people from one specific university 10 years ago so really, don't worry about what they have to say. As everyone else has said, every couple is different and is in a different situation so you shouldn't compare yourself to others. I know for a fact that statistic about ldr lasting 14 months on average is a very American specific one based on if the people involved are just over 1000 miles apart and haven't lived/been together before that. Yes ldr are tough but if you love someone you have to try it :3

[Chris516]

I recently read that the average LDR lasts 14 months. With this and with many other insecurities I find myself in a difficult situation.

My boyfriend of 2 years just finished med school and has matched for a residency program. While we don't know where exactly (they will announce it on Friday 3/17), we do know it wont be in NY (where we both live currently). His interviews were in other states (he unfortunately did not have any interviews in NY -- even though he applied). The program will most likely be for about 3 years, and while we haven't sat down to discuss our options, I'm open to trying LDR, but wondering if 3 years will be too much for us.

He's been an important part of my life these past 2 years and not being near him will leave an empty hole in my heart.

Is 3 years too much? Has anyone done something similar?

I had an LDR that was four years.

But the difference is you will have an easier time to go CDR.

[rache82]

[QUOTE=Honour;435025]Most of us will find ourselves in LDRs for 2

And visas too?!
We're only planning about two years before we close the distance as we've known each other online for 19 years.

I've researched a lot about LDR's during my first one which was just a nightmare, and I must say I've never heard of the average stat being 14 months; as everyone has said, it's totally up to each individual relationship and there's no wrong way of doing things.

(92!)