Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost a year and a half. He lives in Toronto and I’m in Philadelphia. No one knows about our relationship which is perfect for us, we live in our own world. Everything came crashing down for me yesterday. He left to go to school in Isreal for 9 months. I really was trying to be supportive even though I think he felt a little guilty for leaving. I suffer from a lot of mental issues and i have learned to depend on him for when i need help. I was having a panic attack went to call him and i realized i couldnt because it was 1 am where he was and it was 6 for me. I love him so much and I cant live without him but I dont think i can handle being in different time zones 9 hours apart. Its only been one day but ive been doubting it since he told me about it. I really can not lose him because of my mental health and me just being in love with him. Im willing to take any advice on how to make this work i’ll do anything. I just dont know how to handle being in diffrent time zones so far apart?
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I think the most important issue here, is you relying on him to be there for you when you're feeling down/lost/alone. I think you need to find another way to deal with your mental heath; whether that is finding another person to be there for support, or a hobby to distract yourself with, or a comfortable place to go to clear your mind and recover, or to even see a counselor. As nice as it is to have a partner that can comfort and support us in our worst moments, we also cannot expect them to always be available. It's also not fair on them to always hope or expect them to be there when you need it, because as you've already figured out, he's elsewhere, in another time zone, and also busy with other things in his own life. I think once you find another way, or ways, in dealing with your mental heath, the distance won't seem "as" bad. It's not easy being a part at all, but when you're getting on with your life and finding ways to deal with things in your own way, the distance does feel a bit easier as you're not constantly thinking about it. Good luck.
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