I don't know what to do...
Hi there,
I just registered onto this website in hopes of getting some advice...
My SO and I have been dating for about 10 months. When I met him (we met thru a game) I was already dating someone at the time (also LDR). My relationship at that time was not going very well. During the 2 months I was dating this guy, I felt unhappy, hopeless, and lonely. My current SO -who we will call J- was always there for me when I needed to vent about my ex and how he truly didn't care about me. J was a good listener and would give me great advice on how to confront the situation. J and I became very close and I eventually started to have feelings for him. One day he admitted that he liked me, but he knew since I was in a relationship he would respect my choices. A week later, I broke up with my ex and started dating J. Of course like any other relationship, the first couple of months we couldn't keep ourselves apart from each other (talking all day on phone/face-time or text message) There were a few times (this was during his spring break from college) where we were on the phone for more than 24 hours straight xD.
J is literally my best friend and my go to person. Before I met him, I use to have ALOT of trouble opening up and expressing how I feel (I had a hard time trusting and confining my feelings to people) but J taught me not to be afraid. J made me feel like my feelings mattered to someone.
7 months into the relationship, he came down to see me for about 2 weeks. It was my first time seeing him in person so I was a bit nervous. We rented a hotel close to downtown and we had such an amazing time <3 we created so many memories that we will never forget. Ofc it was hard for me to say goodbye once I dropped him off at the airport.....I literally cried every single night for a couple of days until I got over it. Being with him in person made me realize that this LDR was gonna take a toll on my mental and emotional state. I also realized that I did not want to do this LDR for very long because I truly yearn to be with him...
10 months later...I have been wanting to visit him. I told him that I wanted to do something for our 1 year anniversary (like go up and see him) but he didn't really make any comments about it...
The change has been gradual, but some days, we barely talk because he is busy with work and/or school. Going from talking everyday to talking less to barely talking hit me really hard. I try to be understanding because he is mayoring in Industrial Engineering and that involves alotttt of time studying, doing hw, etc etc.. but it still sucks bc they are days that i just wanna relax from a long af day of work and talk to my best friend but I can't bc hes busy. I remember not too long ago, we went 3 days without talking. In that period I didn't message him bc I did not want to seem annoying nor bother him. I honestly dont know if it was bc of how busy he was at that time, or if it was bc he didn't feel the need to talk to me. The fact that there are days we barely talk makes me question whether or not he still feels the same for me....I know he still cares about me bc of the things he has done for me, but I wonder if that passion he felt when he first met me still resonates with him... I honestly think it doesn't. idk guys...am I overthinking this? I mean I have spoken to him and told him about how i feel...but he'll usually get offended and will start to say stuff like when he has free time in his hands and decides to do things other then talk to me how I give him sh*t for it.
I know; guys don't like when girls are clingy and I really try hard not to be that way, but its really hard not being that way when you are doing a LDR...
Phew, I feel better getting all of this out of my chest. If anyone has any advice on what should I do, please let me know...
When I think about my relationship with J, most of the times I end up crying. I know we cant atm but I wish I can already close the distance between us or just go back to how things were when we first started dating.
I just registered onto this website in hopes of getting some advice...
My SO and I have been dating for about 10 months. When I met him (we met thru a game) I was already dating someone at the time (also LDR). My relationship at that time was not going very well. During the 2 months I was dating this guy, I felt unhappy, hopeless, and lonely. My current SO -who we will call J- was always there for me when I needed to vent about my ex and how he truly didn't care about me. J was a good listener and would give me great advice on how to confront the situation. J and I became very close and I eventually started to have feelings for him. One day he admitted that he liked me, but he knew since I was in a relationship he would respect my choices. A week later, I broke up with my ex and started dating J. Of course like any other relationship, the first couple of months we couldn't keep ourselves apart from each other (talking all day on phone/face-time or text message) There were a few times (this was during his spring break from college) where we were on the phone for more than 24 hours straight xD.
J is literally my best friend and my go to person. Before I met him, I use to have ALOT of trouble opening up and expressing how I feel (I had a hard time trusting and confining my feelings to people) but J taught me not to be afraid. J made me feel like my feelings mattered to someone.
7 months into the relationship, he came down to see me for about 2 weeks. It was my first time seeing him in person so I was a bit nervous. We rented a hotel close to downtown and we had such an amazing time <3 we created so many memories that we will never forget. Ofc it was hard for me to say goodbye once I dropped him off at the airport.....I literally cried every single night for a couple of days until I got over it. Being with him in person made me realize that this LDR was gonna take a toll on my mental and emotional state. I also realized that I did not want to do this LDR for very long because I truly yearn to be with him...
10 months later...I have been wanting to visit him. I told him that I wanted to do something for our 1 year anniversary (like go up and see him) but he didn't really make any comments about it...
The change has been gradual, but some days, we barely talk because he is busy with work and/or school. Going from talking everyday to talking less to barely talking hit me really hard. I try to be understanding because he is mayoring in Industrial Engineering and that involves alotttt of time studying, doing hw, etc etc.. but it still sucks bc they are days that i just wanna relax from a long af day of work and talk to my best friend but I can't bc hes busy. I remember not too long ago, we went 3 days without talking. In that period I didn't message him bc I did not want to seem annoying nor bother him. I honestly dont know if it was bc of how busy he was at that time, or if it was bc he didn't feel the need to talk to me. The fact that there are days we barely talk makes me question whether or not he still feels the same for me....I know he still cares about me bc of the things he has done for me, but I wonder if that passion he felt when he first met me still resonates with him... I honestly think it doesn't. idk guys...am I overthinking this? I mean I have spoken to him and told him about how i feel...but he'll usually get offended and will start to say stuff like when he has free time in his hands and decides to do things other then talk to me how I give him sh*t for it.
I know; guys don't like when girls are clingy and I really try hard not to be that way, but its really hard not being that way when you are doing a LDR...
Phew, I feel better getting all of this out of my chest. If anyone has any advice on what should I do, please let me know...
When I think about my relationship with J, most of the times I end up crying. I know we cant atm but I wish I can already close the distance between us or just go back to how things were when we first started dating.