Should I stay or should I go?

[Victoria B]

Hi! So this is my first time here, and this is my story. I've been in a relationship for almost 8 years (since highschool). We were in a "normal" relationship for almost a year, but then I went to college in another city, nothing dramatic, just 2 hours apart and we could see each other every weekend. That was our reality for 4.5 years, but then I wanted a M.Sc. and I came to another city to achieve this goal, so now we have seen each other every month. We really love each other, we've been through a lot together, and Im mad about him, every time I see him and even when I'm not I can feel the love and desire and everything. But for us its just not enough seen each other every month, I really struggle and miss him to much. We have planned to finally move in together (and get married in the near future) since we'll kinda independent and he's finishing med school and will (if everything goes well) start his residency next year. So we thought this was our time. But recently I've been invited to do a PhD in Canada (I'm mexican). Nothing is secure, but it's a strong posibility that I'll be accepted because of my CV and recommendations. The struggle is that PhDs in Canada last about 6 years! And it's pretty difficult for an MD to practice in Canada, I've read experiences from people that had to drive taxis or be cashiers because of the strong limitations for a foreign doctor to obtain licence to practice in Canada. So him going to Canada its not a posibility, and of course I don't want to cut his wings of going for an specialty degree. I've never really planned go study abroad, but now it seems like a good opportunity. And I'm really divided between my boyfriend/fiance/love of my life; and the possibility of studying abroad and get a better position in the future.

[libertine]

difficult situation as one way or the other you will pretty much determine your path in life at this point.
There any reason you cannot pursue your PhD closer to him other than that you were invited ? Im not really that well informed about PhD programs in the US and the costs involved so might just be a monetary issue.
Might sound harsh but just because an opportunity has presented itself doesnt neccesarily mean you have to follow through on it. Do you want to live in Candada for 6 years+ ? To me that would be a core issue on top of everything else.
One thing that occurs to me is that even if he follows you there he will seriously hamper his career.
I wouldnt see the issue of finding a job in Canada for him as drastic as you describe it, there'll be something coming along but he will most likely serious hamper his career if he goes there.

If I were put in your place the first thing id do is to look for a PhD program somewhere closer if it would break the relationship and you want to go down that road.
Did you apply for that PhD program or did they actively invite you ?

[longlovelost]

Why breaking up

In case you're considering saying a final farewell to somebody, you may have blended emotions about it. All things considered, you got together on purpose. So it's ordinary to ponder: "Will things show signs of improvement?" "Should I give it another possibility?" "Will I lament this choice?" Breaking up isn't a simple choice. You may need to set aside opportunity to consider it.

Regardless of whether you feel beyond any doubt of your choice, separating implies having an ungainly or troublesome discussion. The individual you're saying a final farewell to might feel hurt, disillusioned, pitiful, rejected, or devastated. When you're the one completion the relationship, you most likely need to do it in a way that is deferential and touchy. You don't need the other individual to be harmed — and you would prefer not to be disturbed either.