Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

No End in Sight

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    No End in Sight

    I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost fifteen months. We fell for each other our last semester of undergrad, and we got together after graduation, despite knowing that he would move away for his job while I would stay behind. Almost two weeks to the day after we got together, he moved. The distance has been getting much harder for both of us, especially because there is no end in sight. Originally, we planned to close the distance when we started grad school- me in medical school and him in computer science. But then he wanted to delay grad school for a year, but he said he would follow me. Now, he is very conflicted about leaving his job to go off to school--it's a good job with great benefits, he loves his work, and he is able to put a lot of money into retirement savings. He still plans to get a Master's, but now he's thinking of doing it part-time while continuing his job in New Mexico. Before hearing about all this I had thought about going to med school in New Mexico. Problem was that since I wasn't a resident of New Mexico, I had to apply early decision, and since I thought he would leave NM to go to grad school, I didn't apply early decision.

    We just recently had a long, hard conversation about distance. We love each other, and we have talked about marriage, but we're both terrified by the uncertainty of the future. Grad school was going to be our way to close the distance, but now it is seeming more and more like that is not a possibility. I've recently been thinking about moving to NM, but I'd only be there for less than a year before leaving for med school. This seemed like a good idea when the plan was that we would go to grad school in the same city, even if we waited a year for him to join me. But now...

    We've never dated in the same city, and he is worried that our time together is always a honeymoon phase. He says we need to do what's right for us, but he also says thinking of me all by myself for med school makes him sad. I don't want distance to be the end of us, but sometimes it feels like it may be inevitable.

    #2
    It may sound like a cliche, but distance shouldn't matter that much if you really love each other.
    Of course, you need to spend time together, so the first question would be: is it possible for you to spend some time together, like seeing each other once or twice a year?
    If so, then trust me that you shouldn't worry too much about it, and being uncertain of how long it will take.

    Me and my girlfriend are in a relationship over 4 years now, and still haven't managed to close the distance.
    We have had many wild plans, first the plan was that she came and study close to me (I already have a job).
    That didn't work out, so she continued to study in her own country.

    After she graduated we wanted to get her a job here, but that didn't happen (probably because no company is interested in hiring a fresh-grad and doing all the visa work).
    Then I started to look for a job closer to her, but even that didn't happen for the same reason (even tough I already have 4 years of work experience). The visa is just a pain.

    But all this time, we haven't given up, we still believe in the future.
    We see each other about twice a year, and saying goodbye becomes more difficult each time.
    But we just know that soon we will find a way to close the distance.

    In the mean time we just hang on, and do what we can.
    We talk with each other every day, we share what goes on in our lives.

    My advice to you would be to try to do the same.
    In any relationship you have to make time for each other, and invest in it.
    If you both are willing to do so, then I don't see any reason why it will not work out.

    Comment


      #3
      I completely agree with ChrisVesters, if you really love each other you will find a way to make it work no matter what, communication with each other is vital,

      Comment

      Working...
      X