I have had the privilege of getting close and personal with a wonderful man. We had the same work schedule, and worked within the same department, hung out outside of work and have had such a great connection. He has kids and a previous marriage. He was doing traveling for his job, which is how we met. But is now back to his home state, which I encouraged him to go to, because of his kids and what not. We are a brand new relationship, I guess my question is how do we do this LDR? We have been great the past couple of weeks but I’ve heard of so many LDR that fail because people drift, how do we keep that from happening to us?
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By scheduling face to face visits. After going through a couple weekend visits, i guarantee you will know if it is worth it. -
First congratulations on starting this new LDR journey! I did it LDR for 4 years and can tell you that it can be one of the most fulfilling journeys of love if you both have the right mindset and the willpower to make it work!
With starting any new LDR, you'll want to start with the getting the basics right to ensure to prevent the risk of break up. I'll give you 3.
First you both need to both talk upfront and honestly about both of your situations and each of your expectations for one another e.g. will you share the travelling, how often will you see eachother, what are your boundaries before calling the LDR off. This helps to establish trust.
Second you'll need to maintain communication as often as possible using any means of communication that is convenient for both e.g. phone, video calls, text, email. I find scheduling time on a weekly basis is best but there are going to be busy weeks where it might not be possible to talk and that's okay (keep in mind he has a kid), just reschedule and follow up. I would recommend a short text to check in during the week or daily also so that you both feel acknowledged and still apart of each other's lives.
Third, you'll need to ensure you have some mutual goals and interests. Mutual goals could be saving up $ for the next holiday together. Interests could be in your day to day like if you both enjoy cooking, you could share recipes or have video calls where you both cook a meal for a phone dinner. You need these goals and interests to help keep the connection strong whilst also having things to look forward to.
Hope these tips help you. Good luck!Comment
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